#previously bramgreenfeld

[torvagatai]

are you as devastated by what we found out in the midnight lie about kestrel and arin’s parenting as I am? I love them both so much but guys wtf and then roshar doesn’t seem to be doing much to help her out with them? we better get more on this whole thing because I am deeply upset with that whole situation

🚨🚨🚨SPOILERS FOR THE MIDNIGHT LIE🚨🚨🚨

Yeah, I guessed pretty early on who Sid’s parents were and spent the entire rest of the book wincing every time she mentioned her mother.

Part of me isn’t surprised though. Kestrel is first and foremost tactical. Now that she’s queen, she presumably wants her country (a country which, let’s not forget, was subjugated until she and her husband led a rebellion to free it) to thrive. The Kestrel I know would want to protect her people no matter the cost. The Kestrel I know would want her daughter to follow in her footsteps as a powerful woman, and in Kestrel’s view, that means marrying a man to strengthen Herran’s political alliances. In their world, a country without an heir is weak. It’s awful, and I truly believe that Kestrel hates herself for having to ask it of her daughter, but she doesn’t see any alternative.

Don’t forget, this is an older, jaded, stuck-in-her-ways version of Kestrel. She went through so much when she was Sid’s age and I can imagine that the idea of Sid suffering as much as she did terrifies her. She thinks she’s doing what’s best for her daughter. Look at her options - her daughter can either live a comfortable life as a princess married to a rich nobleman, or she can lead a difficult life, constantly having to prove herself and justify her existence as a queer woman in a man’s world. If she wants her daughter to be safe, tactically, it’s a no-brainer.

It’s the same with Kestrel and Arin’s rule over Herran. Sid makes a good point about her parents being hypocrites (freeing a country just to rule over it) but I genuinely think that Kestrel and Arin didn’t see any other ways forward. Or if they did, they likely thought the risks were too great. Better to rule over Herran as kindly, fair rulers than take a chance at setting up a democracy, fail, and throw Herran back into even more turmoil.

Do I agree with Kestrel and Arin? Absolutely not, and I’m not trying to justify the way they’ve treated Sid AT ALL. But I think that’s the genius of this plot - we get to see characters we love behaving appallingly because they don’t know any better and don’t see any alternative. It SHOULD hurt us to see Kestrel behaving this way.We’re put in the exact same position as Sid; she loves her parents and they love her, but they don’t understand her, and their inability to understand and accept her for who she is hurts her.

I’m confident that Kestrel and Arin will learn from their daughter and that in book two we’ll get to see a reconciliation between Kestrel and Sid. (I’m really hoping we get Sid’s POV in book two, because I NEED more information about what exactly happened between them).

[torvagatai]

yeah, romance is cute, but you know what’s cuter? a trio of friends who would go to the ends of the earth to protect each other without a second’s hesitation

[torvagatai]

possibly exchanging contracts tomorrow, which means that in as little as two weeks from now I might OWN MY OWN PROPERTY 😬🤞

[torvagatai]

they really did ZERO research into competitive swimming for jackson’s storyline, huh?

[torvagatai]

I'm gonna start the Midnight Lie tomorrow and I'm so excited! Question: do we get the sexualities of Sid and Nirrim?

Enjoy! I’m excited for you!

In answer to your question, while the words for gay/lesbian/bisexual etc. don’t exist in Sid and Nirrim’s languages, Rutkoski makes it clear that Sid is only attracted to women.

Nirrim’s sexuality is a little harder to pin down, as she’s confused by her attraction to Sid when they first meet. However, I’d say she’s also solely attracted to women. She’s had past relationships with men, but she doesn’t seem to be attracted to men in the way she’s attracted to Sid. When her ex-boyfriend kisses her at the beginning of the novel - before she’s even met Sid - her reaction seems much more in line with someone experiencing compulsory heterosexuality than genuine attraction:

“He kissed me and I let him. Sometimes it can feel so good to give someone what they want that it is the next best thing to getting what you want[...] I pretended that his hunger was my hunger. I kissed him back and the quiet inside me didn’t feel so large anymore, so heavy.”

As an asexual woman, this passage really got to me. That feeling of pretending so hard that you almost convince yourself? That uncertainty as to why you’re not feeling what you’ve been told you should be feeling? That’s what compulsory heterosexuality feels like.

Compared to how she feels when she kisses Sid? I won’t spoil those scenes for you, but suffice to say, she’s definitely way more into it.

[torvagatai]

Initial thoughts on sex education (1 episode in):

this is a HIGHLY Americanised version of sixth form college

by which I mean: it in no way resembles an actual sixth form college

it’s painfully clear they were trying to make it relatable for American audiences

a school band? people wearing those school jackets you always see in American tv shows? all of the main characters calling their sixth form ‘school’ instead of ‘college’?

what year are they in? Eric says that they’ve got two years ahead of them, meaning this is the beginning of their first year of sixth form... but they seem to know the college building and all of their classmates already? Is it also a secondary school? But then where are the secondary-aged kids in uniforms? THIS MAKES NO SENSE.

[torvagatai]

Some more quick thoughts on sex education:

the america/england hybrid setting is still annoying. i’ve realised why it’s so irritating: it’s just way too similar to all those bad fanfics set in england but obviously written by american teenagers

but the characters are all fantastic and i love them

ola is the cutest person to ever exist

getting incredibly strong mickey milkovich vibes from adam

maeve is my FAVOURITE

closely followed by eric and aimee

also I just watched the dance episode, and the decision to break up all the couples and make the classic slow dance scene all about BFFs making up instead? inspired.

[torvagatai]

Have you heard about the recent issues with Mackenzi Lee?

I hadn’t until I got this message and ventured into the hellscape that is twitter to see what fresh new drama YA authors were starting with each other.*

From what I can make out (and I might be wrong, because she’s deleted her twitter account), it seems like she got bored during the pandemic and decided to sign copies of other people’s books in the bookstore she works at, and people were understandably confused and upset when the books they ordered were signed and doodled in by someone who wasn’t the author of said book?

Which is just... weird. I’m sure she meant for it to be taken in a flattering supporting-the-author way, but it seems like it was poorly done and came across as promoting herself at the expense of other authors. I don’t really know what more to say about this. It’s just extremely odd behaviour.

*This sounds bitchy. I should clarify that I don’t hate all authors on twitter, but YA twitter is always horrendously messy. Whenever there’s drama in the YA author twittersphere, it usually (though not always) begins with thought-provoking and reasonable criticism, but there’s always inevitably at least one author who can’t take criticism/is way too quick to attack innocent bystanders/is just a massive dick who refuses to acknowledge they’re in the wrong, and their 5000 fans get involved and drag what started out as a well-meaning discussion into chaos and name-calling. Just look at the recent Sarah Dessen debacle. It’s awful and one of the reasons why I avoid twitter as much as possible.