Every year when Pride comes around I find myself in the same struggle. Do I want to come out to my family? Do I even need to? I am asexual, I am comfortable with that until I start asking myself these questions. It hurts every time I see or hear my family dreaming/hoping for me to have a traditional relationship and I know I will most likely never have what they want for me. So how do I tell them? I watched their reaction when my sister (she is pansexual but it took her a while to get there from bisexual) came out years ago and it was conflicted at best, and now that she is in a m/f relationship they seem to see it as a dalliance on her way to a "normal" life. Because of it they tell me I just have to wait until I meet the right person, just like my sister did. How do I tell them that will never happen. (I am also not blaming my sister for this conflict in my own mind, her experiences have just informed my knowledge of my families reactions and views).
My hesitation doesn't only come from my family though. Asexuals seem to have an icy reception in LGBTQ+ spaces. I so greatly want to belong, but I don't feel I do most times. I am lucky because I identify as my assigned gender, I am lucky that depending on any potential partners I meet I might have a hetero relationship one day (though I am asexual I am also biromantic). These things make me feel like I don't belong. And around this time of year all of these conflicts come back up, as I see so many wonderful and amazing people celebrate their sexuality. I do not know if I should celebrate, or what to celebrate.
TLDR: I know who I am, I am so happy I have finally figured out things I struggled with for years. I dont feel broken or confused about myself, just where myself fits into the greater narrative.
Feel free to ignore this, I know it is long. I just needed to ramble on for a bit and yell my thoughts into the void.
Thank you if you did read though.
I love you all