#primarch headcanons

[diabolicalevil]

konrad curze as an italian greyhound. consider

[2diabolical2evil]

Some silly fun with Rogal Dorn

You may fascinate a Rogal Dorn by giving it large bowls of soup. he really really really likes soup. the concept of a soup bread bowl rocked his world

more than willing to play along with stupid games for like at least 5 minutes, just to figure out what the deal is. on that note he would loveee board games. of all kinds

he canonically sleeps with his grandfathers cape as blanket and first of all that is sickening second of all I bet he's like a hoarder. there's 3 people tops that he cares about so it's not hard for him to amass a collection of their things. his nest. secretly all primarchs are birds

[creativebeansofchaos]

Imperial Apartment AU Part 2

They got their own apartments, so now they have to get Jobs!!!

This is what jobs each of the primarchs, I think would have.

Original Imperial Apartments AU

Lion el’Jonson

Bar tender - He opened his own bar, which is called the Invincible Reason. (the original name of his ship) It is a rustic, high-end bar with exposed brick. He has designed 17 different drinks, all of them based on his brothers'.  

Fulgrim

Personal stylist - He is a personal stylist for celebrities and is the most sought after stylist when it comes to major events like the Mec Gala (Mechanicus Museum of Ancient Tech Gala)

Perturabo

Car Mechanic - He works In a small Car garage with his brother Ferrus they applied separately but to the same place. The owner was so impressed by their abilities to lift cars that he hired both of them on the spot. Neither of them knew the other was hired and Perturabo thought it was hilarious when they both showed up to work.

Jaghatai khan

Race car driver - originally he got into horse racing but he didn’t like how pompous everyone in it was so he switched to car racing while it was still very elitist he like how fast he is able to go. He is one of the best racers but he is to reckless believing himself and his car indestructible.

Leman Russ

Dog trainer - he owns a dog training school and a dog shelter. Most of the training he does is for working dogs like, police dogs, guard dogs, etc… He is very careful when someone wants to adopt one of his dogs never letting someone he thinks will neglect or hurt a dog get one. He has interrogated people before and he is a very intimidating man.

Rogal Dorn 

COO (Chief Operating Officer) - Working in his fathers company he make sure everything runs smoothly and makes sure everyone is staying on task. Keeping everyone on track. He is almost equally as exhausted as Guilliman but he deals with that stress very differently. He takes out that stress on his employees by being demanding and cold.

Konrad Curze 

Taxidermist and a seasonal scare actor - Konrad works in a small shop along side the old man who owned it. They mostly work on animals for museum displays and on peoples pets. Konrad got the job by walking into the shop on a random day and declaring he was going to learn how taxidermy and not giving the old man room to say no. So with no other options the old man made him his apprentice. Every October Konrad works as a scare actor at the nearby farm that hold Halloween walks.

Sanguinius 

Office Intern (unpaid) - He works in a low level at his father company and due to some planning errors that happened before Guilliman took over the financial department. Sanguinius is far too polite to ask to be paid or raise an issue.

Ferrus manus 

Car Mechanic - absolutely flabbergasted to show up to his new job and see his brother who was also his roommate there. They ran out of things to say to each other very quickly.

Angron

Line Cook - He works in a small dinner down town. It is a 24 hour dinner that serves weak coffee and up until Angron started to work there the food was equally as bad. But Angron can cook a mean breakfast and while it hasn’t made the dinner more popular it made the regulars happy.

Roboute Guilliman

Head of finance - He works in the finance department keeping track of everything the company spends money on and all the money it makes. He is eternally busy and never has time for himself.

Mortarion

Unemployed - He has a gaming YouTube channel that he is super passionate about but his channel is not doing well. His channel name is @DecayLordMorti1

“Hey what is up you guys Morti hear with another horror game for you. Today we are playing …”

Magnus the red

Archivist - He works at the local universities library as a Researcher and Archivist. He loves spending his time around the endless aisle and shelf’s of books. Occasionally he can be found asleep in his office head rested on a pile of books.

Horus 

CEO in training - He works under his father as he is being trained to on day take over the company. Secretly he wants to be a high fantasy author but he feels like he would disappoint the family. So he keeps all of his story ideas hidden in a small notebook he would let no one ever see.

Lorgar

Head of Marketing - He works as head of the marketing department for his father’s company and any time he is talking to someone new he is pushing his father’s company. He is like a walking billboard.

Vulkan

Metal shop teacher in a high school - He is the most beloved teacher at the school. He runs an after school club where he helps all the children with their homework and gives food to the ones who need it. He is truly a sweet heart!

Corvus Corax 

Barista - He is your local hot goth barista who makes the best cup of coffee in the city. as lot of people come to that specific coffee shop just so the giant goth man will make them a cup of coffee. Anytime someone outwardly flirts with him he gets to embarrass and disappears.

Apharius and Omegon

Private investigators - They open up their own investigation office called one man investigators. Currently the only cases they have be hired for has been to find out if this women’s husband was cheating on her. They ended up looking into the lives of the whole family in the process.

✨Bonus✨

Big E 

He is a CEO of a mega corporation where he owns a lot of properties and companies.

[washeduphasbeen]

Yooo! I’ve been trying to find a post with the Primarchs caring for one of his brother’s baby and like-! I CANT FIND FOR THE LIFE OF ME! Can someone help me? I’m just a little guy who wants to read that headcanon list again. 😢 especially how Magnus accidentally awakens the baby’s latent pysker powers and Alpharius and Omegon swear to protect them for the rest of their life because they laughed 😭 I NEED IT!

[atenea14]

Primarchs in the 2nd millennium

Dumb ideas about what would primarchs do if the chaos gods sent them to Terra in the second millennium. For the sake of simplicity let’s just say that they end up with normal human sizes. No warnings, just silly ideas.

Lion: He would probably be overwhelmed with everything and will end up moving to some forest to live in the woods and hunt for a living. Also publishes poetry under a fake name and becomes popular, his editor is desperate because he doesn’t respect deadlines. There’s a cute girl in the town he frequents that is smitten with his mysterious aura but he never picks up on the cues. 

Fulgrim: He got into Hollywood but ended up hating the crazy fans and stalkers that showed up at his doorstep so he decided to reinvent himself by being an art teacher and organizing art exhibitions during the day. At night he becomes a free private detective to try to atone for Konrad’s sins.

Perturabo: No matter what Dorn does, he will start another company to be his competence.

Jaghatai Khan: Creates a motorbike gang and races for a living. He especially loves participating in rallies. Always makes one of his brothers to be his copilot in the competition. Has a lot of groupies. 

Leman Russ: Opens an artisanal beer pub. His employees are tired because he ends up drinking most of the beer. He also opens a local animal shelter specialized in wolves. The vet of the shelter is trying to get a date with him. 

Rogal Dorn: He does what he’s best at so he obviously opens a construction business. Doesn’t realise he and Perty are in a competition so he doesn’t understand the tantrums. His business is part of a corporation owned by him, Ferrus, Roboute and Horus.

Konrad Curze: He’s a wanted serial killer, has a ton of podcasts talking about him. Ens up becoming a weird horror myth. 

Sanguinius: Gets into politics because he wants a better world, some people admit that they voted for him because he is pretty and pouts about it. He has great ideas. What does his face have to do with the job? He is also in need of a first lady and tension has been raised in some social circles. 

Ferrus Manus: Owns a tech company, the employees believe that Ferrus’ secretary is the CEO because they have never seen him. He rarely gets out of his personal lab, only when Fulgrim drags him to some event. Leaves the part of actually running his company to Horus.

Angron: UFC fighter, ends up banned for killing a competitor. A lot of people that night earned themselves a ticket to therapy. Doesn’t understand the problem, that guy deserved it for being weak. 

Roboute Guilliman: Discovers that he enjoys ancient programming, ends up teaming up with Sanguinius, Fulgrim and Ferrus to create a video game “as a hobby”. His real job is managing the corporation, he’s also starting a law firm because he doesn’t have faith in his brothers and know that they’ll need it sooner or later. Complains he feels overworked but refuses to go on vacation.

Mortarion: Gets fired from a pharmacy company for not keeping up with hygiene rules. He now offers his knowledge on the dark web. Will deny any accusation of him being related to that bioterrorist attack. 

Magnus: Ivy league professor. Tries to be cool and friendly but is the nightmare of his students, expecting them to understand everything in a few minutes. Nobody tells him and he gets sad when the anonymous survey results are revealed and he is not among the preferred teachers. He is the most popular one in the sexiest professor poll but he is unaware this exists. The doctoral student he is supervising shows it to him to try and make him stop sulking, it works but now he’s blushing and will get nervous next time he’s in class. 

Horus Lupercal: Creates a mafia upon the first week of his arrival. Uses the BrosCorporationINC to launder money. Their brothers don’t need to know this. 

Lorgar Aurelian: Enters the diocese but realises that he would have to spend a ton of time before he becomes the pope so he becomes a philosophy professor at the same college that Magnus works. Uses his students to start a cult, somehow it grows a lot and he gets popular, some love him and some hate him.

Vulkan: Owns a small artisan shop, has his private forge and has participated in Forged in Fire, his participation became a legend in that niche (he won obviously). Offers free classes of crafts to orphan kids, actually he is willing to accept any kid in class. There’s some single moms having a silent competition in which he is the prize. 

Corvus Corax: Joins Vulkan’s craft classes, terribly bad at it, kids are scared of him so he stops showing. Will work at anything that allows him to be alone so probably a writer, his favorite genre is angst and drama. Is trying to hunt Konrad so he stops listening to his stories in the media. He also has an investigation blog exposing corruption. He nearly exposed Horus once without realising it was him. After that Horus gifted him a colony of crows, he’s been busy taking care of them and his fans are sad about the lack of new entries.

Alpharius and Omegon: They have been extorting Horus to keep his secret, that’s how they pay for their shenanigans. He doesn’t know it’s them behind the threats and has his men trying to kill them. Nobody really knows what they are doing but have been seen in some intelligence agencies. 

[angronius]

Angron’s got tats from Nuceria, he doesn’t like any of them but he has larger problems. Ferrus is giving piercings > tattoos, but he’s let Fulgrim convince him of a few. Lorgar is bald headed and glowing so,, but also he’s giving scarification. Horus has a ton of tats, none of them are cohesive but it’s like a coherent mess, there’s a least a few astrological ones. AlphOm seem to have tattoos that move. Dorn prefers a good branding. Someone else continue this

[flunkyofmalcador]

This is for @relax-and-read-on and @incorrect-primarchs-quotes

I did a "Primarch sexual head canons" about seven years ago. I've had time to rethink some of them, so here we go. (It's not like I could find the original post at this point anyhow.)

Lion El'Jonson: The one true asexual of the bunch. I just cannot see him being interested in anyone. I've tried.

Fulgrim: He's metasexual. He has never met-a-sexuality he didn't like. He's an entire LGBTQ+ pride parade in power armor. In an open relationship with Ferrus Manus, but Ferrus doesn't take advantage of the arrangement except when they have threesomes. And hoo doggy do they have threesomes.

Jaghatai Khan: He's straight, but is kind of having thoughts about Sanguinius in the Siege of Terra. He has a lot of wives and kids back on Chogoris.

Perturabo: Dear Perturabo. He surrounds himself with automata and sleeps in a labyrinth which makes me think that he was sexually abused along the way. I also headcanon him as a deeply closeted trans woman, so closeted that even Pert doesn't know it and sadly, nothing may ever come of it. He is content with his own ministrations, and some fan writers have said he makes his own sex toys, which I think is likely. He could fall in love easily, which is another reason he stays remote from people.

Leman Russ: Speaking of doggy...I don't hate him, okay? and I have a lot of head canons and even some fic about him. He's married to Sigrun the Wolf-Queen. Like Luther and Kor Phaeron, she is one of those half-Astartes the Emperor could fashion. They have four kids together. Russ is open! and friendly! in his physical affections and he and the Queen have an open marriage because they are apart so often. He is absolutely magic in bed because his wolf-nose can sniff out what's turning his partner on or not. He knows what you want before you do.

Rogal Dorn: A typo in another writer's commentary about Dorn sending poetry to his lovers via astropathic choir made me think that he would actually be pretty good at polyamory. He has the 100% honesty required for it. Bisexual, but strongly prefers women. In my Daughters AU he and Perturabo finally break the ice and fall for each other hard.

Konrad Curze: In "Butcher's Nails" and other ADB works about the Night Lords, it's made pretty clear he's a necrophile. In "Butcher's Nails", Lorgar comments to Angron that a corpse-filled Dark Eldar ship "looks like Konrad's bedchamber". My brother in Christ, what were you doing in Konrad's bedchamber?

Sanguinius: GAY. Unfortunately, between being 700% gay and raised in a patriarchal desert society he's also quite the little misogynist. Had very little experience before he met Horus, and the two were inseparable immediately. Read my fic "Wings" for the whole story. After he and Horus break up, he transfers his affections to Jaghatai Khan. Khan's open to the idea.

Ferrus Manus: I have a really different headcanon from most people because I see him as a widower. His wife and kids died on Medusa and he only came back to life himself when Fulgrim walked into his lonely forge. He loves it when Fulgrim wears lingerie and as I said above, they enjoy a good threesome.

Angron: Spent his entire life being abused. He's not asexual at all but I think he knows he's too dangerous to try to have sex because he is NOT a rapist. I like the idea of him being one of Lotara's two husbands, but honestly I think Lotara is lovers with Kharn only.

Guilliman: His libido is sublimated as hell, but it's there. He's attentive to detail and has a plan when it comes to consummating it with a new lady (and his partners are ladies). He knows he has to get married and have kids at some point, but aargh, he's just so BUSY.

Mortarion: I don't know.

Magnus: Prospero is a world where polyamory is the norm and people have family webs, not family trees. He has several wives and husbands and kids. Definitely does the whole psychic sex thing; you know when he's coming home with loving on his mind because you've been having orgasms out of the blue for the past half hour. Magnus is the one primarch I want to marry, but for his intellect and love of the occult, which I share.

Horus Lupercal: Bisexual AF, and has gone through 3/4 of the Custodes and Sisters of Silence in the Palace before he meets Sanguinius. After that, he's monogamous until Davin. Post-Davin, he's fucking Erebus and you cannot convince me he wasn't banging Petronella Vivar either.

Lorgar: This boy is messed up. He covers his sexual dysfunctions in celibacy. It's Kor Phaeron's fault.

Vulkan: Open and friendly like Russ. I don't know him very well because I can't stand Nick Kyle's writing and so my takeaways are all from fanfic! He and Russ compete to be the best huggers.

Corvus Corax: Totally married to Nasturi Ephrenia. Bisexual, but hasn't acted on it yet. Eventually will, probably with Vulcan.

The Twins: I am not ready for that conversation yet.

[dead-philosophy]

Anyone else have primarch voiceclaim headcanons? I've only got two.

Angron: Till Lindemann (Rammstein)

Corvus Corax: Adrian Hates (Diary of Dreams)

I will gladly explain why if you're curious at all.