Princess Drama
For the most part, our preschool boys far outnumber the girls. However, there are times when their numbers are just about even, and this always means trouble for the boys. You see, the boys work against the girls as a team. If one boy is in trouble with a girl, then the whole male team bands together and rushes to the aid of their comrade. It's a strength in numbers kind of thing. And the girls understand that they cannot go up against all of the boys at once. But preschool girls are a cunning species, and they bide their time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce on their prey...
Thursday was apparently the day the girls had been waiting for. When I got to work at 7:30 there were only five kids...three boys and two girls. Here is a list of the characters: Fungi (the boy with a haircut that makes his head look like a mushroom), Cinderella (the girl who forced a boy to dance with her in a previous blog), T-Rex (obsessed with dinosaurs, very loud, oh and he recently cut his own hair...or should I say shaved his head...well, half of it), Muscles (a very expressive boy who is always showing me his muscles), and Miss Bossy (a little girl who always has to have her way and tattles a lot...we all know the type).
The boys knew they were in trouble, being few in numbers and having two very strong female personalities in the room, but what could they do? They had to carry on as if they didn't have a care in the world....little girls can smell fear.
The real trouble started when the kids picked centers to play at. Fungi went to play in Farm, T-Rex chose Legos, and Muscles opted for playing with his toy from home...a stuffed tater-tot dressed like a Superhero. Little did he know that this choice would lead to his doom. Playing with a toy from home must be done on "the letter line" (the huge blue rug, bordered by a colorful alphabet, that we sit criss-cross-applesauce on when we have our group learning time). The problem with this is that the letter line is also the "dance center" if students choose to dance during free-play....and what do you think the girls chose to do during free-play? Dance.
Fluttery fairy-like music started to play and Cinderella and Miss Bossy took their positions. Twirling around like ballerinas, they headed straight for Muscles who was sitting huddled in the corner, gripping his stuffed tater-tot.
"You'll be our prince," Miss Bossy said.
Poor Muscles knew that he couldn't win a verbal argument, so he went into defense mode and dropped to the ground, arms and legs spread out like a starfish.
"Let's pick him up," said Cinderella.
Each girl grabbed one of Muscle's arms and tried to pull him to his feet. Muscles attempted to make himself heavier by pressing his body to the floor. He looked pleadingly at his two male companions across the room. They returned his gaze with looks of sympathy, but they all knew the numbers were not in their favor. Nothing could be done.
"He's up!" said Miss Bossy when the girls finally yanked Muscles to his feet.
"You're my prince," Miss Bossy told Muscles. This however, triggered a heated discussion between Cinderella and Miss Bossy. They had originally intended to share Muscles, but Miss Bossy had made other plans. Not surprisingly, she got her way and took sole ownership of Muscles.
"Fine!" said Cinderella. "Well that's my prince over there!" She stomped over to Fungi who was surrounded by plastic farm animals, barns, tractors, and silos...oblivious to the argument that was taking place. Cinderella knelt down by him, stroked his shoulder, and then glanced back to make sure Miss Bossy was watching. Miss Bossy was watching, but soon both girls turned their attention to their new relationships. Muscles was led to the center of the letter line rug and told to dance, while Fungi was informed that he was was now Cinderella's prince.
"I'm not a prince," said Fungi. "I'm just Fungi."
Cinderella did her best to persuade her new catch to dance with her and take her to their castle. But Fungi held his ground, demonstrating an uncharacteristically cool attitude in the heat of battle. He insisted that he needed to farm. He would not abandon his duties. Cinderella, although quite upset by the situation, smiled and giggled at nothing every time she saw Miss Bossy look her way. She had to keep up the appearance that she had snatched the better man.
In the end, Cinderella accepted the fact that she was destined to live the life of a farmer's wife. And so, giving up all thoughts of castles and pretty dresses, she sat down and helped Fungi shove pigs, sheep, chickens, and cows into the silo...where they apparently belonged.
Poor Muscles didn't get off as easy as Fungi. He was forced to dance the morning away, leaving his Superhero tater-tot alone on the ground where the two of them had fallen attempting to avoid the girls' romantic advances.