#pro8lematic

[justdrinkerthings]

@pro8lematic replied to your post: If I used emo+tico+ns ho+w wo+uld I even depict my...

What do they look like. 

 8ecause I’m kinda laughing at the thought that they look like the num8er 5.

I feel like yo+u’re pro+bably familiar with Maryam ho+rns.

I figured perhaps the to+p part co+uld be the ho+o+k but it really didn’t wo+rk o+ut.

[suburbanhuntress]

@pro8lematic replied to your post: @pro8lematic replied to your post: ...

8ut okay. I guess I’m silly.

@pro8lematic replied to your post: @pro8lematic replied to your post: ...

Literally, the word ‘interesting’ means it holds your curiosity or interest. I’m just supposed to know the definitions you’re assigning to words on the fly????????

:33 > are you okay

[2twopiid]

pro8lematic replied to your post “thii2 ii2 my publiic apology for beiing iin2ufferable on maiin. ii’m...”

Not accepted. You owe me cash now.

ii don’t u2e ca2h. get lo2t.

[cyberstates]

> capsize, pt 2.

warnings: implied asphyxiation, implied eye trauma, death, murder, violence.

GA: We Are Going In 10 GA: Hal GA: Are You Ready

There is no option for you but to be ready. And of course, you are. The giddiness (85% likelihood) is still there and more intense now, and if you had a physical body, you're sure that it'd be shaking. Good thing you're just an Empire warship right now, right? You manage to ignore the intensity of the emotion, anyway, telling yourself that for you, it's only a certain fluctuation in the neural network, and nothing real.

TT: Yes, I'm ready.

Kanaya and Eridan slip into the Helmsblock with no problem, and you had already made sure that the security cameras would be fed the looped recording of the empty block. As Kanaya moves to cut the cables connecting Sollux to the ship, you smoothly switch the power to auxiliary and suppress the alert. As they prepare to leave the room, you simultaneously disconnect the outside guard from the ship's internal communications and cause a piercing noise to emit from his headset directly into his ears, disorienting him to allow Eridan and Kanaya, who is carrying Sock, to kill the guard and get out of there.

As the three of them move from corridor to corridor, you replace the live camera feeds with looped videos, warning them of nearby patrolling guards. It becomes routine, the communication disconnection and the simultaneous disorientation of the guards, allowing Eridan easy aim, but the three of them are lucky to not run into that many. You want to believe that it'll be this easy all the way through, that they'll get off the ship and onto Vriska's intercepter without being noticed until it's too late, but you suddenly notice that some of the crew has found the body of the Helmsblock guard and they've no doubt seen the empty helming rig. Fuck.

TT: Bad news. TT: We've been found out.

Hopefully, Kanaya is checking her messages.

You activate one of Sollux's viruses, killing the Starscreech's ability to communicate outside of the ship with the rest of the Empire. Then, you lock and jam all of the doors of off-shoot rooms that lead into the corridors Eridan, Kanaya, and Sollux will pass through. You can hear some of them banging on the doors, cursing about it through the microphones inside the rooms—useless to them for outside communication.

This is what you've been giddy about the entire time, your systems tell you: The prospect of making a series of shitty references to 2001: A Space Odyssey as part of your name bit–but it's all in good fun, even if the poor trolls of this ship are going to die as a result. Alarming thought, yet again, but you decide you'll dwell on it once this whole thing is over. The vestiges of one's own moral crises can wait.

The plan was to wait until Eridan, Kanaya, and Sollux were off the ship before you started killing the crew, but you have to buy them time. That's part of the reason you got involved in this plan in the first place—buying them enough time to get off the ship and out of here. You start cutting off the oxygen supply in random sectors of the Starscreech, beginning with the ones that would pose the most risk to your companions.

TT: I've locked all doors of rooms that have crew members in them. Should weaken your opposition a bit. TT: But, you might have some company, soon. TT: Move quickly.

Something goes wrong with Eridan. You don't pay close attention, but his eye definitely shouldn't look like that.

* * *

Once the three of them are off the ship, you deploy all of Sollux's viruses, obliterating the Starscreech's ability to navigate itself manually and obnoxiously freezing all of the monitors and interfaces with a certain, duplicating image.

The ship refuses to turn in accordance to the pilots' wishes, maintaining its stubborn straightward path despite the escaping interceptor. Instantaneously, as you deploy the viruses, you also cause the auxiliary power of the Starscreech to fuck itself up—somehow. You're surprised that you're able to do it yourself. You shut off the oxygen completely, but you can't really do anything about the backup oxygen masks. about. If only you could reference Portal, too.

The surviving crew, which is of a larger percentage than you had hoped, must've figured you out by now. You concede that the shitty images of Troll Dave from Troll A Space Odyssey was too much of a self-expose. A few of the trolls of the Starscreech talk over each other, and you read their lips—realizing that they're going to start up a forced shut down the non-essential systems of the ship. Fuck. You should probably get out of here, now. The one-way signal that Vriska left up for you is basically beckoning you, but you're worried–if you leave too earlier, the whole mission might be compromised.

You test if you can forcibly open the landing station to expose the interior of the ship to the unforgiving landscape of outer space, but they must've already circumvented you there. You have to go, or you'll probably be stuck here forever. Well, nothing always turns out completely perfectly.

You connect yourself to Vriska's signal, uploading yourself, and say goodbye to the Starscreech, deleting any trace of your presence.

Well, not entirely. You leave a little something on Lochagos' tablet—an undeletable application that when opened, will cause the phone to explode.

[stellar-aide]

[The video begins with blurry focus as Kanaya evidently rushes to get it set up, turning to show the enormous head of a giraffe as it eats some lettuce leaves out of her palm with an audible crunch. She gasps quietly as this happens, hand getting more steady over a few seconds as she pans the camera to follow the giraffe’s head.]

[Right next to her, Vriska stands, looking a bit tense and holding out some lettuce to the animal, glancing between Kanaya and the approaching giraffe. Kanaya begins narrating in a stage whisper, excitement clear in her voice.]

“I’m here at the Houston Zoo in Houston, Texas, on the planet Earth and I just fed that tall creature, which is called a Maasai giraffe, some lettuce, which is a crunchy snack. The lettuce Vriska is holding is called iceberg lettuce, and it is made up of up to 96% water!”

[Vriska visibly tenses as the giraffe puts its lips into her hand to crunch at some more of the lettuce. The difference between the relaxed, neutral look on the giraffe’s face right up against Vriska’s tense posture is absolutely hilarious. The camera doesn’t pick anything up on mic, but one can vaguely read the words too fucking tall on Vriska’s lips, even from the profile shot.]

“Maasai giraffes are the tallest of nine subspecies of giraffe, which is native to Tanzania, as well as parts of Kenya and Zambia, all of which are part of the southeastern portion of the continent of Africa! Maasai giraffes are the tallest land animals on the planet Earth, and they are this height so they can eat their favored food, acacia leaves, right off of the tree. They can eat up to 75 pounds of leaves a day!”

“Great.”

[The giraffe has finished its snack and the camera pans over to Vriska as she repeatedly wipes her prosthetic hand off on her jeans, making a semi-disgusted face as they step off of the platform together to make way for the next few folks.]

“Vriska, did you know that some ancient humans, upon seeing a giraffe for the first time, thought they were a cross between a creature called a camel and a big spotted cat called a leopard?”

“No.”

“They called them camelopardalis because of that! Isn’t that amazing?”

“I don’t know. Shouldn’t something that tall be extinct already? If it needs to eat 80 pounds of food every day.”

“You should pick the next place we go on the map!”

[The camera fumbles a little as Kanaya hands off a neatly folded pamphlet, which Vriska unfolds while sighing.]

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

“Umm… maybe we can check out the bug house? I read online that their Asian forest scorpion had little scorplings a few months ago. I wonder if they are still there?”

“I guess we can go find out. The ice cream place is near there, anyway.”

“Sure! Okay, um, say hi! Before I turn this off!”

[Kanaya crouches quickly enough that their massive height difference isn’t evident by the time they’re both on camera, and she’s smiling wide, face a little flushed from the cold. Vriska blows hair out of her face and shrugs a little, smiling almost by accident.]

“Yeah. Hey.”

[tereziflyrope-blog]

Vriska

> You take a bite out of the stick of chalk in your hand and chew it while staring at the scribblings on the blackboard in your personal workchamber.  You know that Eridan is alive, and Kanaya may be as well, though there were no records of her employment on the Starscreech.  She didn’t answer your messages, but her body wasn’t found on the ship, living or dead, and unlike Eridan, there is a possibility she would have the wisdom not to reveal herself to you as living.  The tracking anklet results might give you something on her status: you figure if she’s alive and willfully on the run, she’ll have made an effort to deactivate it.  

> Equius is either uninvolved or very good at avoiding suspicion.  Sollux is probably dead.  Apparently he wasn’t supposed to have access to the internet at all while being used in the helm, so you could incriminate anyone who communicated with him as tampering with military equipment and suspect them of whatever bullfuckery occurred here, but you communicated with him too at times, so that charge could backfire on you.  

> You haven’t contacted Vriska yet.  You aren’t looking forward to it.  You almost can’t bring yourself to talk to her, for fear of discovering she is involved in this in some way, given her connections to all the other suspects.  You don’t know what you will do if you wind up in that position.  The right answer is that you will do your job, but it won’t be easy.  You unhappily circle her name on the blackboard, pop the rest of the chalk into your mouth, and sit down at your desk to send her a message.

[pitysexter-blog]

pro8lematic replied to your post:

Here’s a like for your trou8les.

Yo+u’re a light in my deadened dashbo+ard.

[microsoftedgy69]

pro8lematic replied to your post: pro8lematic replied to your post: ...

Need me one of those.

I don’t think anyone would be happy if I sent you a copy of mine. Good luck though.