#probably after lunch

[ultimatenomi]

so much Olyphant today I have been blessed

[ihaveneverdonedrugs]

My schoolmates used to call me by my full name. And I hated it. It was not even a teasing, because I never spoke up about it, protested or given them any reason to continue doing it. They just did it of their own accord.

To others (asian or no) it might seem as a gesture of respect or transference. I saw it as nothing more than disassociation and alienation. I am not even chummy enough for you to use my name. You don’t even call your rivals or enemies by their full name. What am I to you? Do you look down on me 'cause I'm younger? Do you think that i won't understand? I just wanted us together and to play as a band...

I didn’t like my name, and it didn’t help that they thought it was funny they couldn’t pronounce my surname right because of their shitty chinese accent. Still I never said anything and just stopped associating with them (for many other reasons - the name thing is just a small part of it).

I still don’t like it. But every single time I have to introduce myself and I think this time I’ll call myself something else, I just default to my own name because it’s stupid and I won’t recognize the name I’m going to make them call me. Not that I have a problem with it, but that other people can so easily fit into a name of their own choosing and it suits them... Yeah. Gets under my skin.