#probably:(

[muirmarie]

i am, unfortunately, deep in another of my "wow I am so [i don't really want to expose my psyche to the internet so let's just say: some bad brain thoughts about myself], and people are just pretending to like me to be nice" phases, and the worst - TRULY the worst thing about this - is that I know it's not true!!!!

[cut for my ramblings, you do NOT need to read them I just need to Put Them Somewhere so they're not In Here, With Me lolllll]

I am FULLY AWARE, in a logical, rational way, that no one is going to take the time to PRETEND to like me to be NICE. Like if we were at my best friend's wedding then sure, that would be one thing, we all fake it at times, but no one is faking it for LIFE lmaoooo?????

I'm aware of that!!! And yet the knowing it still, somehow, does not diminish that gross, desperate little ball in the pit of my stomach???? how does knowing not diminish it. why are human brains like this. i know i am wrong and yet clearly some idiotic part of my subconscious refuses to believe me. what am i supposed to even do with that, besides just like. pretend to ignore it.

i mean i'll just keep pretending to ignore it, i know this too will pass, it's just.

why on earth is the knowing it not enough, that's what i wanna know.

i just want to throw this out somewhere so it's out of my head, i don't need reassurance because i know it's just, y'know. i am aware of what's happening, and as absurd as it is, reassurance i think would genuinely cause an even more absurd "now i'm forcing them to reassure me because i am so [insert unpleasant things] and they feel obligated to be nice" lmao (<- yes, yes i know. I truly do know!!!!)

anyway. ugh.

brought to you by the same brain that routinely does "what if i'm trying to be a nice person because i am secretly a horrible, evil person who's just pretending to want to be nice for selfish, awful reasons" routine, so, y'know. BRAINS, Y'ALL.

[ephemeralscan]

what a dump!

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is the song best friend by rex orange county!

.

[seohhe]

Work in progress of my two daughters. Netta and Flare. They basically Starco and Tomco children.

[ephemeralscan]

i’ll drink to that

[thetrannyappears]

I'll be able 2 pull off off-putting and collected and a bit mean one day,,,,

[forbittenromance]

new genre of meme dropped thanks to my typo