This is what I'm thinking
So I finally did decide to go to bible college, after everything. Really trying to have faith that each circumstance would pull together something fantastic. I went with my bestfriend. We are roommates. I've had the hardest week ever.. And it's just so completely.. Exhausting now. Like I'm not even a good kid.. I didn't come like all these other good kids.. You know.. The ones who say they are bad because they are sinners.. But have they even had one drop of alcohol? (Nothing against alcohol, I'm just stereotyping). The people here are golden. So sweet. So talented. So genuine. And here I am. This girl who had to sneak out of her last house, where she wasnt treated right (we will keep this pg), where she was surrounded by the dirty partying atmosphere, broke up with her amazing boyfriend because good things don't happen to her.. And oh.. I could go on. But besides the negative bitter stuff that I have obviously let fester inside of me.. This girl. Yes, the one described previously.. She's at a freaking bible college!!!!!!! In what world does that happen? I'm not sure. But here's what I'm thinking.. Am I gonna make it?? Is God gonna carry me through, or.. Am i just supposed to be left to be stranded somewhere? Am I supposed to move on to the ghetto of Edmonton now?? Cause obviously I'm not good enough for my bestfriend, or bestfriend/boyfriend.. I really don't fit in anywhere. I can't sing as good as anyone here, I'll never make the volleyball team, I'm not gonna ever get half of this theology, the flies in my dorm room are gonna drive me CRAZY. Basically. I'm a write off. Peace.