#procrastinating writing a paper

[marssipan]

I'M THINKIN OF GOOD CITATIONS IT'S GIVING ME EXCITATIONS (OOH, OOH, OOH GOOD CITATIONS...)

[trouble-gemini-cervidae]

is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world?...

[revelsinmalevolence]

However, I have reason to doubt that many of them understand how much some of their opinions would have hurt a weaker me. And still kind of hurt me now. How some of the things they express about things I enjoy or love truly make me think hard about my relationship with them.

Some of the things they express views about kept me from killing myself, or from losing all hope, when I had nothing else. I can not truly accept that they would say things like that if they understood. I would hope they would care more than that.

But that is besides the point.

I know that my killing myself is not an issue now but it was for a long time. And without my friends and my lovely boyfriend it would be still, I think. But I am stronger now than I was then, even just a few years ago, because of the events of my past and the honesty of my friends.

Not that it doesn't hurt now, or anything, I'm just better at surviving and pretending. One thing I can truly pride myself on.