the stars align in mysterious ways for unknown reasons; synchronicity, as I describe it and “her” and “them” they suddenly appear from dormancy . noted also is the recurrence of the number “eleven”; initially it was always eleven days to the cycle let me recount- tuesday through the following saturday. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11, yes. The first and the second time, both eleven days apart, but the second time was so wrenchfully homely, i can’t and don’t want to forget, no matter what I tell myself, exploring the newness without intrusion and we laughed and the “meaning” compiled and spilled over. and when realization of unsatisfaction with temporary peace neared, it drove me to tears| knowing i sit for the moment only/// knowing myself to be trapped in the (cycle). and progress perception should be taken with a grain of salt when chemical combinations can differ so much. and nothing should be assumed of anyone, nor yourself. so many signs, all either unassumigly coincidental or faith knocking on the door of an empty house, the lodgers scared away by the frequent instigator testing us at the mat.
later tonight i will attempt to enter “sicker mode” and vibrate into the fifth dimension where i may leave this plane and travel to the divinity of habitable, reachable possibility.
Seeing more and feeling less Saying no but meaning yes This is all I ever meant That's the message that I sent