Eheh this was so much fun! TY for the tags @xkatchy & @redaresss 💕
Fake Text Message Maker HERE
I already have some Emmrich x Ayla texts in the works for something else 😈 but I figured good ol' Ed would be fun to do too.
Ed is Ayla's rough-around-the-edges 'Alternate Emmrich' for whenever she guest stars in a friend's Emmrook fic. They originally appeared in @onelooseskull's fic New Bloom, and then in my standalone fic Keep Calm & Carrion.
But now they also exist in Red's modern Boxing AU too, Iron Wills and Heavyweights, & the texts she made of Zea x Dav x Em inspired me. 😏
I am just paragraphs away from finishing Part 2/2 of Ed x Ayla's standalone fic (they're currently enjoying a nice post-coitus grilled cheese 😏 hence Ed's avatar up there lol), but in the meantime you can read Part 1 if you're interested, and/or learn more about Ed below!
Gently tagging the usual crew to make some texts of your OCs and their LIs if you so choose! 😈💕
Imagine being so horny for your crush you accidentally summon a Desire Demon...
'Cause that's exactly what happened to these two idiots. 💀
TYSM for the tags @serialsforbellara, @sunny374940, @woundedsoul12, & @kogarashi-art! I always, always love seeing your stuff!! 💕 Today's WIP is from Part 2 of 2 from Keep Calm and Carrion, my insane one shot fic about Ayla and her Alt-Emmrich bad-boy, Edward, from the Emmrichverse.
✨WTF IS THE EMMRICHVERSE? LEARN MORE HERE!
Ed's a mortuary science professor in the Mourn Watch; he's got tattoos, a beard, and uses the orb and dagger y'all. Oh, and he swears!! Plus he matches Ayla's chaotic gremlin energy all while somehow still embodying a bit of Emmrich's particular je ne sais quoi. 🤌
Ed and Ayla journey down into the catacombs at the behest of Ed's good ol' cousin Emmrich, and in my post for Part 1, I teased that they ran into a bit more than they bargained for down there.
Yeahhhhhh...it's a Desire Demon y'all. (RIP)
And the passage below starts right after Ed figures out that the 'Ayla' he's been talking to...isn't actually Ayla at all. 😈
Edward stared into not-Ayla's blazing blue eyes, trying his absolute best to keep his face in a neutral expression. Even though it was most likely pointless as fuck, considering the blasted evil thing could probably already sense that he was onto it.
And, sure enough, mere seconds after the thought occurred to him, Edward watched in dismay as Ayla began to warp and shift, transforming in front of his very eyes—grotesque, blood-red horns sprouting out of her forehead, tongue splitting in two like a snake, a barbed tail appearing on top of her (gorgeous) ass.
"Such a clever man," she purred, her voice impossibly seductive.
"Thanks, sweetheart."
Not-Ayla let out another sultry laugh, her eyes crackling with delight. She trailed her fingers across his chest—now sporting claws that threatened to tear his shirt—and slowly began to circle him.
Like an animal would just before feasting upon its prey.
"I see now, I think," it mused. "I understand..."
"Mm. Do you?"
Edward honestly couldn't say why he was taking the time to make quips at the damn thing. He supposed it was quite possible that it was all his brain was able to do at the moment. But he needed to figure out where the hell Ayla was. His Ayla—the real one. And wildly enough, making fucking small talk with a malevolent spirit at least appeared to be distracting it.
The creature laughed again, the sound of it tugging on something inside of him that he could not, must not give in to.
"Indeed. Kindred souls." Not-Ayla studied him in perverse fascination."They burn. It is…painful. Bright." She sighed and made a strange gesture with her hands, a sorrowful face along with it.
"So lost. So…alone."
To Edward's horror, Ayla suddenly appeared in the center of the room. Not more than a dozen feet away.
Maker's breath.
She was completely ensnared by long wispy tendrils of mana, red and glowing with an insanely complex assortment of enchantments that he'd never seen before. There were so many they almost obscured the arms wrapped around her as well, the tattoos upon them letting him know even before he caught a good look at the evil fuck's face that it was…well—him.
But not him.
He let out a sharp huff of air at the sight. "…Right. Well then. If it's all the same to you, I do think it's about time for my lovely friend and I to be going—"
Not-Ayla's eyes narrowed into slits. "I am not harming her."
Edward's face instinctively contorted into an incredulous expression, and he jumped when the fucking thing appeared behind him without warning to hiss in his ear.
"I am simply giving her what she has always wanted."
"Which is…what, exactly?"
The creature took a deep breath, as if savoring the question. And when she next spoke, her tongue trailed across his ear.
"Her spirit yearns…most deliciously."
He watched in a sort of stupor as the thing that looked like him but wasn't enclosed Ayla even further in his embrace, practically devouring her with one rough kiss after the other as she gave them right back in return. One of not-Edward's hands had a hold of her throat, the other squeezed her breasts as she leaned into his touch. And mortifyingly, despite the dire situation, Edward could not deny what the sight of it all was doing to him.
It felt as though the life was slowly draining out of him, just like one of the cadavers in his lab. The blood inside his veins replaced with nothing but white-hot scorching flames.
He became transfixed by the way Ayla kissed his-but-not-his jaw, dragging her teeth across it, looking just as much like a Desire Demon as the fucking thing next to him. The noises she was making were absolutely unholy, a soft mewling sort of moaning that left him dangerously close to teetering upon the edge of a precipice…
A tempting yet extremely precarious one. And if he allowed himself to fall, he was quite certain that there would be no return.
He could already feel himself slipping away piece by piece.
The creature was taking him, taking them…
Before he allowed the thought to fully form in his mind, Edward acted upon it, lest the evil beast somehow sense that too. His hands closed around the pommel of his dagger, and he thrust it forward with all his might, missing the demon's head, but at least making contact with it's neck.
It shrieked in pain, letting out an ear-splitting hiss of a wail that Edward could certainly fucking do without. But he wasted no time in sprinting towards Ayla, her conjured restraints slithering away slightly as the demon struggled to maintain concentration in the wake of his blow.
He raised a hand and tried to sense what the best approach might be, given the complex enchantments holding her in place, attempting to squash down the panic that had begun to rise in his throat at just how small Ayla looked amidst the tangle of red. And when she stopped moving entirely, he could bear it no longer.
Fuck it.
Edward might be a mage. But he was a knife-wielding one, dammit. And he had often butted heads with his dear cousin when it came to Edward's stubborn insistence that there were—occasionally—moments when brute force was just as effective as magic. If not more so, as Ayla herself had certainly demonstrated to him by now.
So in the precious few seconds he wagered he had left before the vile thing regained it's composure, Edward began stabbing the spirit tentacles with gusto. Whatever the fuck proper name Emmrich would have given them completely absent from his frantic mind as he hacked away, relief flooding him when his persistence at least appeared to be effective enough for him to reach in to stab not-Edward and wrap his arm around Ayla's waist.
Not-Edward appeared to take issue with that.
However, Edward himself certainly had zero issues with stabbing the thing's arm when it tried to pull Ayla back into it's clutches, his mind for some insane reason noticing the fact that while the creature had replicated his tattoos, it didn't appear to be wearing his silver jewelry.
…Yet another thing he and dear cousin Emmrich disagreed on, come to think of it.
They toppled backwards together onto the ground when he finally yanked hard enough to get not-Edward to release Ayla into his arms. Just in time for the fucking demon to let out a deafening shriek again. He murmured an evocation and hurtled it towards the thing, who graced them with yet another screeching wail in response—but at least buying them some time.
Ayla startled on top of his chest where she lay in his arms, the two of them still in a heap upon the floor. She looked around in confusion as if she had been suddenly roused from sleep, the rest of her dark curls falling loose from their pins when she bolted upright.
"Andraste's fucking tits, Ed. What the hell?!"
Edward actually started laughing, he was so fucking relieved. He flung another evocation at the howling demon before pulling Ayla up to her feet with him, kissing her on the cheek and sliding one of his bangles on each of her wrists.
"Desire Demon. A real one—nothing we can't handle, Warden Thorne."
She stopped her frantic searching for a weapon and looked up at him with a smirk that made his stomach flip. "Feeling brave, huh, Ed?"
"Quite." He gave Ayla a matching smirk before tossing her his dagger and conjuring a crackling orb of mana in his hand. "Keep those on. The fucker doesn't bother to make them."
He could see the gears turning in her mind as she got into a fighting stance. "So now I can tell your gorgeous asses apart."
"Exactly. And I, you."
Part 2 of Keep Calm and Carrion is almost done! And it’s got smut, y’all!! ALT-EMMRICH SMUT (lmao I’m very excited about this). But in the meantime, you can READ ALL OF PART 1 HERE, if you're interested! 😈
Tags for visibility and to say howdy below! Gentle nudge for y'all and anyone reading this to share your WIPs if you got 'em! 💕
Yessss, that's right! Ed x Ayla are BACK, and BOY, are they PISSSED!!
They didn't earn the moniker of 'Nevarra's Pissiest Power Couple' for nothin', y'all. Although this time it miiiiiight have something to do with that damn Desire Demon that's messing with them...😈
Who's Ed? Just imagine a slightly younger, gruffer Emmrich who swears, wears all black, is snarky as hell, has a bunch of tattoos, and uses the orb and dagger.
Are you picturing it?
Good. 'Cause that's exactly what you're getting with Ed, Emmrich's cousin, and Ayla's rough-around-the-edges 'Alternate Emmrich'. Ed pops out of his coffin whenever Ayla guest stars in a friend's Emmrook fic just to make sure she doesn't get too lonely. 😂
He originally appeared in @onelooseskull's fic New Bloom, and my brain spun out after their meet-cute, where Ayla teases she's gonna visit Ed and his cute little beetles. So I wrote this standalone fic where she does exactly that. 🪲
I've been working on Ed x Ayla's adventure since January, and I'm very excited about this final installment. There's action! Even PLOT TWISTS y'all!! It was originally only supposed to be 2 Parts, but of course, these two just kept Doing Stuff, and in classic Fern fashion, I wrote enough that I decided to split the final part for easier reading.
I've posted Parts 2 and 3 at once, so the whole fic is now available on AO3 for anyone interested, but as always there's no pressure to read!
KEEP CALM & CARRION | A SILLY SUMMARY
🪲PART 1: FANCY SEEING YOU HERE
A Horny 'Hello, again!'
🪲PART 2: A DANCE WITH DESIRE
A Horny Demon Fight
🪲PART 3: CHEESE TOASTIE
A nice helping of horny grilled cheese (& SMUT!!)
...What can I say? They're two incredibly pissy, horny idiots lmao. This is also the 2nd multi-part fic I've ever managed to finish!! 🎉
🪲 YOU CAN READ THE FIC HERE IF YOU WANNA
Sneak peeks at Parts 1, 2, & 3 below!
“Incorrect!”
His stern admonishment towards another student briefly snapped Ayla out of her drooling over the man, a hint of those harsh Nevarran consonants bleeding into the Trade he spoke in his annoyance.
…Making him somehow even fucking hotter.
“Forgive me—but a single slip of the tongue today becomes a thousand tomorrow, Watcher Pentaghast.” Ed leaned back against the operating table and tented his hands, his tone once again becoming warm. Inquisitive. “We do not call the bodies we honor with our preparations ‘corpses.’ Why?”
“It is too clinical, sir,” the man replied. “It calls attention to the physical remains only, rather than honoring the individual who has passed.”
A ghost of a smile twitched across Ed’s face. “And what shall we use instead?”
“The deceased, the departed, or the individual’s name.”
Ed’s lips settled into a satisfied smirk. “Well done, Pentaghast. It appears you won’t be sponsoring my evening pint after all…” He crossed his gorgeous forearms across his chest and leaned farther back against the table, eyes narrowing at his student.
“But mark my words. Should you call the deceased such a name again within my classroom, you’ll find yourself doing just that.”
🪲READ PART 1 HERE
Ayla ran over and tossed him his knife back for some unfathomable reason, leaving the madwoman herself utterly defenseless. Edward caught it but leveled a glare at her.
"What the fuck are you doing!?"
"Trust me!" she yelled before making moves to scurry away.
Edward huffed a sigh and rolled his eyes in annoyance, and not just at her foolishness, but also at the extremely frustrating way his heart leapt into his throat at the idea of her attempting to face a fucking demon with nothing but her bare hands. He dodged another crackling bolt of lightning and managed to hit the thing with his orb again, giving him the chance to hiss after her.
"You're insane!"
Ayla looked back over her shoulder and gave him a ridiculous smirk.
"Aw, come on, Ed—you said you were feeling brave!"
She let out a cackle, and then he watched in disbelief as she hoisted her gorgeous ass on top of a tomb and began climbing up the nearest statue.
…Maker's breath, she was a fucking lunatic.
🪲READ PART 2 HERE
"Whatcha makin', handsome?"
Edward chuckled. "Cheese toasties." He let out another soft laugh when his response made her gasp, then cackle.
"Are you serious!? Ed! Grilled cheese is my favorite." She squealed and squeezed him even tighter, doing some stupidly cute little dance against his back, reaching up to kiss him right in the middle of his tattoo. "Pfft, cheese toasties," she snickered.
"What??"
"I just can't believe you call them that." She swung around his middle and looked up into his face, her beautiful eyes holding a shocking amount of fondness. "It's fucking adorable."
Edward grumbled something noncommittal under his breath, actually strangely pleased by her conclusion. She released him and hopped up on the counter next to the stove, perching on it with a cheeky look.
"Can I help?"
He scoffed, momentarily distracted by the sight of her swinging her wonderfully bare legs, wearing nothing but one of his shirts. "Absolutely not." Edward snickered when she gasped again. "I've heard stories about your cooking, Warden Thorne. And it sounds like your talents are much better suited elsewhere."
Ayla smacked him. "What, like fucking!?" she asked, biting her lip and wiggling her eyebrows.
Edward sputtered out a laugh, then made a thoughtful face. "…I was actually going to say breadmaking."
"Shut up, you were not."
"Mm, Watcher's honor." He met her narrowed eyes with his own, folding immediately at the cute look on her face. "But I will admit you possess immeasurable talent in that area as well."
"What a charmer you are, professor," she snickered.
Edward leaned down to bring his face to hers. "We've been over this, sweetheart. I teach mortuary practices—not charms."
"Fucking hilarious, Ed," she huffed, rolling her eyes with a grin. He audibly sighed when she trailed her hands up his chest and shoulders, looping them around his neck to pull him down into a kiss.
"Could've fooled me."
🪲READ PART 3 HERE
*THE SMUTTY CHAPTER (BUT ALSO THE MOST ROMANTIC!!)
🌿Writing Masterpost
👉 Ed x Ayla also feature in these silly OC text graphics!
Ploppin' the tag list below! As always there is zero pressure to read, just sharing 'cause I'm really proud of this story (and the smut lol) and of my 2nd fully finished fic baby. Plus ofc you know I love sayin' howdy! I hope y'all are having a good week so far. 🫶
I also want to give a big thank you to onelooseskull @serialsforbellara @redaresss @lycheecatee & @sunny374940 for supporting me in my insane Alt-Emmrich madness, and for shipping Ed x my gal. 🪲💕
And thank you to any of y'all who have already read any bits of these two idiots of mine, whether through my silly posts or on AO3! I know this is niche as hell and it means a lot y'all are kind enough to humor me. I almost didn't post this fic publicly at all, so truly from the bottom of my little mushroom heart - thank you! 🥹
ICYMI in that infographic I posted last week (lmao v easy to do, it was gigantic - y'all know that #GraphicDesignIsMyPassion), I wrote a new fic for the insane 'Emmrichverse' that @onelooseskull, @sunny374940 and I cooked up! Featuring Ms. Ayla Thorne and her Alt-Emmrich, Edward Forsythia (AKA the Pissiest Couple in Nevarra).
✨WTF IS THE EMMRICHVERSE? LEARN MORE HERE!
This fic is set in the New Bloom universe, oneloosekull's longfic, where her Rook Kione is married to canon Emmrich and expecting their first baby. Enter Ed: Emmrich's cousin and 'bad boy' who's got tattoos, wears all black, swears, and has gremlin snark that rivals even Ayla's.
In the latest chapter of New Bloom, Ed meets Ayla when her bestie Kione sets them up at the Hall of Valor. Ed is immediately besotted after he watches Ayla beat the shit out of a bunch of Venatori, and Emmrich catches the two of them making out under the stands (...yeah I think it's safe to say they hit it off). 😏
Ed's a mortuary science professor in the Mourn Watch, and Ayla teases that she'll have to come visit him and his little beetles sometime...and wouldn't you know it, my brain spun tf out on what exactly that might look like, so OF COURSE I ended up writing a crazy little one shot where she does just that. And amidst all of the flirting, beetles, bread, and sexual tension, cousin Emmrich drops by with a request for Ed and Ayla to investigate a disturbance in the catacombs.
...And they find a bit more than they'd bargained for down there.
You can read Part 1 of 2 here! Part 2 is almost complete. It's got SMUT y'all!!! That's right, ALT EMMRICH SMUT!! Lmao we truly live in wild times. I've been chippin' away at this brain worm since January, and I'm pretty proud of the story even though I know it's niche as hell and originally never thought it would see the light of day. It's got real plot twists okay!? 😂💕
I'm very happy Ed's sarcastic-ass has a home in the Emmrichverse now, and I figured I'd share just in case anyone is interested in taking a peek!
🪲Keep Calm and Carrion
READ ON AO3!
Visibility tags, memes, and a snippet below!! no pressure to read as always! 🫶
✨THE VIBES✨
✨THE SNIPPET✨
When the passageway spewed them out into the next large chamber, she heard Ed let out a low curse in front of her. He stepped aside, and Ayla finally emerged to take a good look around before releasing one herself.
Fuck.
Like the rest of the catacombs they had just crawled through, the room was stuffed full of tombs.
Unfortunately, in this one—every single one of them was empty.
Her eyes landed on the stone lids that were all pushed aside like something had crawled out of them, and the first undead took a swing at her just seconds later. Ayla ducked, unsheathed her sword, and twisted around, slicing it through the air and taking off the corpse’s head all in one smooth motion.
She turned around to assess if there were any others and to make sure Ed was ok, and while she clocked several more of the things lumbering towards them, the professor appeared to be in a daze, staring at her with his mouth hilariously open.
Ayla snickered until she noticed the monster right behind him, and yelled, “DUCK!”
Thankfully, Ed did just in time, narrowly escaping a blow from a particularly disgusting decomposing corpse. Her eyes went wide when a dagger appeared in his hand instead of the staff she had been expecting, and she watched in disbelief as he brutally stabbed the thing in the neck right before blasting it with a ball of green mana, turning it into a pile of ash on the ground.
...Holy fucking shit.
She had never wanted to jump this man’s bones as much as she did right now.
Which was saying a lot.
And it was also wildly poor timing, as another undead had just reached them, and swung it’s arm out in an attempt to grab her hair. She brought her sword down upon it in swift retribution, and it fell to the floor before evaporating into a flash of bright green light when Ed threw his necrotic orb at it.
“Nice work, sweetheart,” he quipped with a smirk, probably not realizing just how close she was to grabbing his smug, handsome face and kissing it silly—undead crypt-walking corpses be damned.
Ayla managed to push down the urge and continued on. And despite the seemingly unending onslaught of corpses that continued to fling themselves at them, she found that she and Ed actually made an incredible team. Once they settled into a rhythm, they were able to thin the herd with impressive speed. She even successfully goaded Ed into a stupid competition to see who could get the higher kill count, and, as expected, the man appeared to be just as disgustingly competitive as she was.
Even better, she got to watch the very appealing way Ed’s forearm muscles flexed every time he hit his mark, and she shot him a little grin when the next corpse fell by his hand.
“That’s six,” he huffed, smirking at her.
Ayla laughed, and it echoed out around the chamber around them. “Pretty good—for a professor!” she teased.
Ed rolled his eyes, jumping towards her side to dodge a rotting arm swinging wildly in his direction. He blew a puff of air up towards his forehead to move his hair out of his eyes, those gorgeous hands already full with his magic orb and sexy black dagger. The latter of which he plunged into the chest of the corpse she kicked towards him.
“Seven!” he said, shooting her an adorably pleased smile. “What?!” he grumbled when she gave him an unimpressed look. “Tough crowd. Go on then, tell us how many you have, First Warden.”
Ayla whooshed past him, dropping to her knees and sliding on the floor, ducking under the rusty saber swinging her way. She twisted on the ground and stuck her leg out, tripping the undead soldier wielding it before skewering it in the belly so hard she felt the tip of her sword hit the stone floor underneath it.
“Eleven,” she replied breathlessly, chuckling when he let out a loud laugh in disbelief. Ed’s orb disappeared momentarily, and Ayla grabbed the hand he offered, helping her to her feet just like in his office. But this time, he pulled her all the way back, crushing her into him.
“Impressive,” he quipped, shooting her another smirk before blatantly staring down her shirt.
Now Ayla rolled her eyes. “My fighting, or my tits?” she scoffed.
He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to his side like she weighed nothing at all, swiftly moving them both out of an oncoming corpse’s reach, making Ayla’s stomach flip and giving her the welcome opportunity to slice it’s head off, Ed’s large hand protectively resting on her hip the entire time. They both stared at each other, chests heaving.
Ed grinned and gave her a sarcastic wink.
“Definitely both.”
Ayla threw her head back and laughed so loudly it made Ed chuckle too. She looked up at him and smirked.
