"I am I?" is a 5 minute performance that illustrates the time and repetitive process spent in dealing with dissociation.
In dealing with anxiety and depression throughout my life, I have only recently learned about what dissociation* is, and how much of my time I have actually spent trying to deal with it. Now that I understand the process and signs, I have learned grounding techniques to help myself overcome feeling disconnected much faster. What used to sometimes take me hours, if not days, can now be done in a few minutes to an hour.
In this performance I reenact the small techniques that I use to ground myself. This includes viewing things naturally, i.e. without my glasses, acknowledging my anxiety, controlling my breathing, completing actions slower to take in the tactile sensations, and reminding myself repeatedly through action and inner monologue that I am here. I am.
*Dissociation is the psychological phenomena when you feel disconnected from yourself, as if you are watching yourself in a movie or are not a part of reality.