Dec 1, 2019
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not so goldie locks
I keep going after girls that are too happy or too sad
the happy girls make me roll my eyes and make me feel guilty for not being quite as happy as them
the sad girls eat up all my time with neediness visible through double texts and multiple phone calls a day the sad girls require to constantly be “cheered up” but every flower, every coffee will never give them what they need
I need to find someone that’s just right. to me, life is about balance. being too happy comes off as being fake, yet being too sad comes off as too realistic.
and this is why I have such a hard time with dating.
old to me, new to you 🔏
I don't know you, but You're out there You're so damn out there and I want you to come home
I’m trying to get better at journaling. I can’t tell my clients to do it and not do it for myself. Today I thought a lot about my growth over the past few years. I gave up a lot of myself to please others. To fit a number, a size, a grade point average, a friend count, the amount of likes on my pictures.
Doing so, I surrendered the power within me, to the hands of others.
That didn’t feel good.
The two most important lessons I learned in the past year 1) that I should keep what serves me and clear myself of the rest. 2) I need to let myself feel in the moment when I can. What I mean by that is: if a situation arises where I know I need a few minutes alone to emotionally digest what’s on my mind, I need to take that few minutes to do so. It’s in my nature to be a little impulsive at times, but before I react, I need to breath and process. I’ll know the moments when I feel them, my heart rate increase and I can feel the tension in my chest.
I heard the most profound thing today that someone at my internship informed me that one of our most philosophical professors in our whole program said: “I may have my PhD, and technically people are supposed to call me ‘Dr. Boylin,’ but I prefer everyone just call me ‘Boylin,’ because I spent a lot more years figuring out who he was, than I spent going to school.” I think he’s got a point.
It’s a push and pull
Have a busy lifestyle,
Get over things quickly.
Slow down,
stay stuck
4:04am
The loneliest hour, provides the most clarity
You shouldn’t say the opposite of what you want, assuming people will chase you down for the true desire