“Project Power”- Add it to the list, Jamie :)
In these tense times of protests, economic woes, demon sperm,
and mad scientists giving us advice on how to stay safe
(Psssh, plus he’s a Nationals fan? Smh... that monster),
it's natural for us to call out for a hero.
I know that I'm first on your list (If you don’t know, get it together, I'm practically "Black Dynamite", especially since I haven't seen a barber in forever)
, and I'm flattered, but I'm a busy man. Much like common sense, I may not always be around to lend a hand.
You might want to turn to The Avengers, but
- yeah. They're kinda done without a leader.
But is it the old, sad Ben Batman?
... whatever the hell this is? Batman has got issues right now.
Politici... Ha! Sorry, I can't even... Ha! Just no.
Sure, but unless your place is on fire or you're having a bachelorette party, they won't be of much use.
Somehow, next up is Jamie Foxx.
Yeah, I couldn't believe it either, but there he is - "Project Power".
Let's look at the official description of the movie shall we -
"A former soldier teams up with a cop to find the source behind a dangerous pill that provides temporary superpowers."
Seems like it should be a fun, yet awful movie right??
I'm not even gonna bullshit you. This movie is awful, but not in the fun way.
It's a Grade F, and that's that.
For starters, the trope-filled story never gets off the ground. I still don't know why or how it doesn't, but I was never invested in this flick. There's no depth to it. It's just those two, and a teenager, bypassing law enforcement to tackle the war on drugs.
This war starts with a character named "Newt", played by music artist (previously a rapper) / actor, Machine Gun Kelly.
There are certain actors that consistently make poor choices for movies that they're in. It's to the point where if you see them in a trailer, you know that the movie is going to be bad. Now, he's not one of those actors, because you can't call what he does "acting". But, he is always one of the reasons why the movie he's in will be bad.
If you're unfamiliar with his bad choices, here's a brief recap:
*Making music
*Beefing with Eminem
(this is not a pic of him from the movie, it's what happened to him once Em launched his diss track at MGK
Even his character made poor decisions.
*Here's him drinking a big gulp, obnoxiously loud during a drug dealing meeting (I imagine Trump doing that in meetings).
*Then, his character has his own name written on his own door, WHEN THE COPS ARE LOOKING FOR HIM!
That's just amateur back-in-the-day cartoon villain stuff, right?? Back when they had giant evil lairs.
Plus, he can't be a very good dealer, being that we don't see all that many people using this drug. If this were real, I imagine that everyone would
at least try it; especially the way our world is going right now. Granny would replace the hard candy in her jar with power pills.
I could go on and on, but I digress.
Joseph Gordon what's-his-face was good,
but like most of the characters in this movie, he was one dimensional.
He's a renegade cop who will doing anything to get this ridiculous drug of the streets. Anything includes taking the drug
himself to even the odds. The other cops know that he's doing it too! How do they see him doing something blatantly against the law that they serve and... oh wait.
Then, they've got the black teenage girl, who's facing real systemic racism, who focuses way too much on her rap skills rather than school work.
Whom adults also feel to need to take out of school and put her in life-threatening situations.
let's just review a few of the times in which he played an action role.
That’s him a lil behind Josh Lucas. Who’s that, you ask? - exactly.
Here he played a sick violinist... I think. It’s been a while. But, I remember him physically fighting with Robert Downey Jr (him in the back), so we’re adding to the action list:)
Here he is behind another white dude. And a another movie that we forgot about.
Here he is behind the white dude again... at least we know that white dude.
Lemme look at the poster for “Project Power” again -
aaaaah, see, now it makes sense to me why Gordon Joseph whatever-his-name-is looks so confused in the poster.
He’s like “Jamie, aren’t you supposed to be behind me?”
There are a few more, but we’ll end with this one...
Yeaaaaah... *sigh* Yeaaaaah. Let’s put that back in the vault.
Somehow Tom Cruise, who's almost 60 and 5 foot 2 is so much more believable as an action star than Jamie Foxx.
Don't ask me how. It's one of the great mysteries of our time.
Oh right! - There WAS “Django Unchained”,
but that had the absurdities of Quentin Tarantino and some comedy in it.
Maybe if they didn't take "Project Power" so seriously it would have worked.
I mean it's about drugs that give people temporary superpowers. Drugs already give people powers (kinda):
1) Super Balance - idk about where y’all live, but here in Baltimore, there are leaners in every alley way exhibiting this power.
2) The ability to make your problems dis... well, not really disappear, but... you get the idea.
3) And loss of teeth! How about that one??! Pick them up, and use them as projectiles? YEAH!
But, these SUPER powers in the movie are more like speed, strength, fire, ice, all of the regulars.
The effects at times were good,
but at other times it looked like a bad video game; with the dumbass boss fight as well.
Don't waste your time, people. I was hoping for Funny-Bad, but I got Sad-Bad. You know?? I kept thinking
"*sigh* Oh, Jamie."
Have any of you seen "The Boys"?
(a dark, but funny take on superheroes)
They could have done something like that. Jamie Foxx is hilarious, and that Gordon Joseph guy is pretty funny as well. Be creative. Be raw.
But, nope. They had to tell us a serious tale of a world where drug addicts have super powers, and comedians are our only
hope for protection.
