#prompt03

[missmaurer-blog]

The sample of writing which I have collected is a chapter summary from a grade 6 student. The summary was created to fulfil an allocated role for Book Club where the group was reading ‘Little Pieces of Sky’.

One of the 6 + 1 Traits of writing that are evident in this piece writing is IDEAS 💡 the ideas are very strong and concise. It is clear that the student has really take the time to stop and think about what she has read and how she can summarise the main points to retell her group. The piece is also very ORGANISED ✏️ it is broken down into chunks (paragraphed) and in order of occurrence. One way that this piece of writing could improve in the future could be increasing the use of a wider range of vocabulary to express points of view and increase the impact of student voice.

[havsra]

Parley

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."  ~African proverb

"I have never seen a greater monster or miracle in the world than myself." ~Michel de Montaigne

Have you noticed I always drag toward dark?

I don’t dance a delicate compromise, won’t meet you halfway,

won’t partake in pleasantries and won’t shake hand to tentacle.

But if you’re smart, you’ll go without fuss, for

when I’m clawing at your anchor, when I’m roiling 'round the undercarriage?

You’ll need my eye to scan the inky black, my tongue to sing forgotten languages.

Let’s go together; you’re not set on survival.

Crossing is only part of the story.

The captain always goes down with the ship.

[havsra]

Listing

i dreamed of you last night that's a phrase right up there with i love you for a string of words that has been repeated so much it may as well have lost all of the meaning

what i mean to say is time doubled over the way we always talked about then and now coinciding like corner folding fabric and doubled over like we got when we were laughing

you were the last body apart from mine on these sheets if i had cat senses i could still smell your echo and this is where i can still find you or try to

even when i don't mean to

i wasn't thinking of you—or was i?—some part of me? when i laid down to rest last evening i even had another woman's voice on the wire, higher in pitch than yours had ever been

but when i closed my eyes you're still there taking shapes out of the shadows and darkness using the backs of my eyelids as canvases

i sat in your lap at your kitchen table, my head burrowed into your neck, and we were laughing and you were kissing my throat and i was kissing your jaw and we were late and we were laughing

and i was saying words to you i couldn't hear you always took your time in leaving, were late for everything and i suppose i shouldn't expect anything different about your departure from my

head, heart, skin, skull, breath, words, breath

except our dates, i had noticed that, you were always on time for me so i have to accept that your coming into my life was also perfectly timed so why do i feel like a ship without an anchor

listing in the waves

everything is good now, and the breeze is gentle and the winds blow me softly toward the shore and i'll get there in my own time but how, how will i ever stay anywhere again without a tether?

i'll keep on begging for big moons to drag my ship back out to you

in the dream it's the same as waking though i still love you more than i have words for i loved you as a truth, as a knowing, and it had been a hard rock to break on

because the truth that came with it was that you didn't

and even in my dreams i remember that aching as i'm on your lap nestling into your neck kissing as we're laughing i'm feeling the chain connection so strong between us stretch out like dry rope

and break