i have come for a reckoning: i'm cashing in on all those owed texts, coward
Send “✆” for a MORNING text.
Julian: Good morning, darling.
Julian: I had to leave early, but I made you coffee. I didn’t want to wake you up, you looked so peaceful.
Julian: I hope you have a wonderful day.
Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.
Julian: I know none of it means anything to you. Me, the kids, the dogs. I know it’s part of your carefully crafted image: the perfect Prime Minister and his perfect family. I know you could replace me in a heartbeat.
Send “☎” for a RUSHED text.
Julian: i’m litigating against an IDIOT
Julian: i want to scream in frustration
Julian: woops the judge almost caught me texting
Julian: i’ll rant to u later
Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.
Julian: ibzia is wonderufl!!!
Julian: yoush sfoudla come with us
Julian: everonye his so niice
Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.
Julian: I see you on the TV.
Julian: That desk looks nice and spacious.
Julian: Maybe I’ll crawl under it sometime.
Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.
Julian: I’ll be at work late. Don’t wait up for me.
Julian: I might actually stay overnight.
Julian: Could you have clothes sent over?
Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.
Julian: What the fuck does she think she’s doing?
Julian: You’re not going to let her take everything away from our children, are you?
Julian: What a fucking bitch!
Send “#” for a RANDOM text.
Julian: I went shopping with the Duchess of York today. I bought myself a new coat. Look at how gorgeous I look.
Julian: [IMAGE ATTACHED]
Send “@” for a SCARED text.
Julian: I know nothing comes out of these death threats, but it’s late at night and I feel like I’m being followed.
Julian: I know it’s probably just me being paranoid, but can you come pick me up?
Send “&” for a LOVING text.
Julian: I just saw the newest edition of TIME Magazine on a newstand on the way to work.
Julian: You look gorgeous on the cover.
Julian: I’m very lucky to be married to such a handsome man.
Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.
Julian: David Baba — you used to date, right?
Julian: I ran into him today.
Julian: Were you two serious, or?
Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.
Julian: I GOT ACCEPTED TO MY DREAM MASTER’S PROGRAM!!!
Julian: Sorry. I’m a little excited.
Julian: I can’t wait to be back in Oxford again!
Julian: I’m so happy.
Julian: We’re celebrating when you come home.
Julian: ;)
Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.
Julian: Are you dense or just incompetent? Clear your desk by this afternoon.
Julian: Sorry, darling. Not meant for you.
Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.
Julian: I can’t stand it. I can’t stand the way they look down on me.
Julian: I’m never going to be good enough for this fucking society.
Julian: No matter what I do, I’m still a fucking nobody.