Proper/ propertytatü
Das Wort Proper ist ein Scharnierwort, das sich höflich polemisch und polemisch höflich dreht und immer meint, was es meint. Ist das Scharnier nicht geölt, dann spricht man von propertytatü.
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Proper/ propertytatü
Das Wort Proper ist ein Scharnierwort, das sich höflich polemisch und polemisch höflich dreht und immer meint, was es meint. Ist das Scharnier nicht geölt, dann spricht man von propertytatü.
death exists--in a paperweight, in four red and white balls on a billiard table--and we go on living and breathing it into our lungs like fine dust (murakami, Norwegian Wood)
Everyone, regardless of everything, by which I mean everything--lives with some profound personal sorrow. Everyone, regardless, always, of everything.
Ross Gay, “The Book of Delights”
Oh yeah i was talking to my editor in chief yesterday and i was like.
>me: Yeah I waited too long to get over my last ex and now i have to wait to date because i won't be myself again till spring
>her: how about thinking of it like. You're still you, and this is just who you are in the winter
>me: oh, because I date crazy people and I'm not in the right place to be the stable one rn
>her: you know, I only date stable guys. you should just be the crazy one for once
I have been taught about being trans and pursuit--that is, the "pursuit" of transness. This idea that if emotion does not overcome me with each minute, rather if I am not a victim of my own dysphoria, then I am not doing justice to my identity. The truth is, hours and days and weeks go by when I think of myself in third person, correct pronouns and all, and I find myself neither elated nor cringing. I have never challenged the binary; I have never been brought into question. Is that okay? Is it alright for me to not always be fighting? Am I only valid if I am in pain, and therefore relatable, and therefore palatable?
When my writing group used my pronouns to refer to me, it was the first time I'd ever been addressed that way. It made me happy; more than that, I became hopeful. I hold onto that feeling like a breath.
I am not a boy because I said so. Back then, I never knew that I could say no.
I was always queer, I think. That’s all.