Jim thinks that maybe the universe really fucking hates him.
Because he, the most reckless careless person he knows, ended up with a stubborn, bullheaded insouciant asshole for a husband. And god he loved the bastard so much.
“Just, be careful, okay?” Jim played with his lower lip, which still tasted like Bones, and tried not to pout like the infant Bones accused him of being.
“Yeah, kid. I’ll be careful.” Bones lopsided smirk could have been a sight in the mirror and Jim swore inwardly. Bones would not be careful. Not when lives were at stake.
“A week. A week to figure this virus out and you’re back. Captain’s orders.”
Bones raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes in exasperated affections. “Yes, sir.”
It was three weeks and Bones nearly died. The group who took over the Starfleet compound on Outward Darma demanded a doctor heal their leader and then when he couldn’t come up with a cure, prepared to kill the entire outpost until Bones could produce it. So what did his brave, asshole of a husband do? He gave himself the virus.
Jim found this out later and lost a patch of wheat blond hair to a grey invasion. At the time, Bones checked in like scheduled and said they were behind on a vaccine but still optimistic.
When it was over, Jim kept Bones curled around him for a weekend, refusing to let him move farther than a few feet. It was childish but Jim needed it just as he needed to tell himself that Bones would never do something like that again. Not on Jim’s watch.
And then Ria VI happened.
*
“Your senior ranking crew-member or the ship will be destroyed.” The Rians Queen demanded, her voice sounding like the combination of nails on a chalkboard and a fork against a ceramic plate. They wanted leverage in the war against Starfleet, who backed out of a trade and settling agreement when the Rians demanded a blood tithe from initial early Starfleet away team member. They were gifted in sonic pulses and currently had the ship running on a three pulse system where the third would deplete power before their backup systems could kick in.
“And to think this was a peacekeeping mission.” Scotty winced. “I’ll go, sir. I can disable the engine and get back in a tick.”
“I will be going.” Spock interjected.
Jim was already to the turbolift when his comm beeped.
“Bones, I’m sorry. I’ll get back, I promise.”
“Kid, I couldn’t let you go.”
“What do you mean?” Jim swore as Chekov announced that Shuttle 3 was launching.
“Bones, I’m ordering you back.”
“CMO override, Captain”
“Jesus, Bones, you can’t do this. We don’t know what they could do.”
“That’s why I couldn’t let you go. Jim...” Bones sighed and it was the sigh he had heard in his father’s voice when he listened to that last conversation his parents would have. “I’ll be seeing you.”
Jim turned around, away from his crew who were realizing with equal parts horror and tragedy, what was happening. The ship went through a pulse, the lights dimming, the life support failing in a deadly swoop. For a second, he thought he was dead.
And then it came on and Bones was pleading for him to answer and Jim croaked out, “Please, don’t.”
Bones apologized again and again when Jim shook in bed that night, after the Darmians had beamed Bones back and the ship was restored.
“I can’t promise I won’t do what I have to do to keep you safe. But I’m sorry for hurting you. I know how it feels to almost lose you and I don’t...I didn’t want you to feel what that was like.”
Jim’s heart hurt. And he knew. Just like the virus, just like this. That it would happen again.
“I’ll stop if you will be. I’ll...stay away from away missions. I’ll become a desk captain.”
Bones snorted into Jim’s bare shoulder, kissing a constellation of freckles that made gooseflesh raise down his arms.
“You can’t be careful anymore then the sun can be hot.”
Bones laid his head on Jim’s shoulder and fell asleep but Jim couldn’t, wouldn’t as he thought about being a reckless asshole in love.
