Conscientiously creating a shit piece of art. Checklist:
"Picassoy" figures
Runny-paint tears (press your brush underneath the eyes, and let the paint run down the canvas, this mimics tears. All the good artists do that now)
Incorporated page of bad adolescent poetry (ever see something drawn onto a page of cursive text? A rose painted over prose, a tranquil picnic scene over Mein Kampf, a self-portrait over an instruction manual to a Samsung 32 inch LED TV... What's with that?) - here the text is almost completely painted over.
Glitter (making it more crafty than arty - am I a serious artist or an eBayer?)
Features all three primary colours
Extra canvas which in no way relates to the first (making it unnecessarily a diptych - but they sell on eBay, so...)
Give it an air of mystique: heavenly body (moon, top left) & skull (skulls are vogue). Other items are available.
Artist's signature is unnecessarily large and takes up too much of an area of the canvas - creating an interference with the pictorial aspects of the painting.
Paint-by-numbers guide on the reverse of the right canvas
Pretentious title: Now this was a difficult one. In the end I couldn't quite decide on anything so I deferred the titling to L. Grimes of Grimes & Jones fame, who gave it the title of "Untitled". Additionally, deferring is now quintessentially contemporary (ref. Koons, Hirst)