So, I'm not really cut out for this whole pseudo-parenting thing...
Maybe I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong, but I'm worried about my ex's daughter.
I've made mention of her less than stellar behaviour before, but she's still unfortunately heading down a shitty path. Since many 13-year-olds throw caution to the wind when it comes to posting things online, I stumbled across a picture of her dressed in something entirely inappropriate for someone her age, holding a bottle of vodka. Vodka. She can't be more than 80 lbs - how the hell can her liver handle that?
She's also dating a 16-year-old boy who's made no secret of telling the world how much he enjoys "smokin weed n poppin cherries!" I recently noticed on her blog that she received several anonymous comments from someone who apparently dated her boyfriend before, and who had nothing but negative things to say about him. Things like how he used younger girls for sex before dumping them. This anonymous individual tried to warn my ex's daughter to stay away from him, only to get profound replies like "fuck off bitch" and "why are u hatin" (ugh, seeing grammar like that makes me absolutely cringe).
I was quite appalled by all of this, so I left an anonymous comment of my own, pointing out that her boyfriend seemed to raise a lot of red flags, and that she shouldn't let herself be pressured into things that she didn't feel comfortable doing. Her snide reply to this was, "okay mom".
I just left it at that, but this is what I wanted to say:
"Okay mom?" Wow, that's a witty retort. Did you come up with that one all by yourself? But no, I'm not your mother. Your real mother is so selfishly consumed with her own issues that she doesn't give you and your brothers the care and attention that you deserve. Your father is the superior parent and he loves you very much, but he can be incredibly naive, and you may have noticed that his priorities have gotten really skewed over time. I hope that he's not too busy with work and going on drunken pub crawls with his "friends" to realize that you're getting yourself mixed up in some dangerous stuff. I hope that he's actually there for you.
Look, I know you think you're hot shit, but the truth is that you're a silly little girl who doesn't have a damned clue. You're 13 years old, for fuck's sake. You shouldn't be drinking. You shouldn't be smoking marijuana. You shouldn't be having sex (if you actually are sleeping with your 16-year-old boyfriend, that would technically be statutory rape, which is a crime).
You deserve better than the chaos you're walking right into. And it drives me mad that I can't convince you of that because I'm not a part of your life, and I never will be. But I used to care very much about your father, and by extension I cared about you, too. Please, please, be careful and take care of yourself.
I'm contemplating the idea of sending a text to my ex about how concerned I am about his daughter. I have no interest whatsoever in rekindling the relationship or even being friends with him, but he needs to do something about her behaviour. Unfortunately, I suspect he'll a) not believe me, or b) tell me to bugger off and mind my own business. But maybe it's still worth a shot.