Hanging out at the Winchester

Having a nice cold pint and waiting for all this to blow over.

[mrsfitzgerald]

[loca-por-loki-deactivated201312]

THE LAST GIF. I CAN’T.

[neversands]

6 and last! Reesh you are cute!

[viva-vas-legas-deactivated20150]

Oh baby :’)

[suchjugs-blog]

excuse me while I hide from the last one… 

[edirnt]

[doctimusprime]

I'm usually more of a Till fan, but #9 has just made my ovaries explode. Or else gotten me pregnant. Either way, RZK is doing things to my lady bits.

[thisdanobrien]

Dear Daniel, will you be in Canada for any event this year? I lived in Montreal for seven years and tragically missed you at Just for Laughs, and was hoping to catch your show if ever you came back. I hope you do, Canada loves you. You're pretty rad, as is your dog.

Cracked might have a presence at Just for Laughs, but I certainly will not be there, unfortunately (Montreal is one of my favorite places in the world). I might try to take a personal trip to Montreal later this year and will try to book some stand up gigs or a signing if that ever happens.

[doctimusprime]

Getting to see DOB do stand-up live would make my day. And month. And probably the rest of my twenties.

[blueberrykindoftea]

[catasters]

Many Faces

[doctimusprime]

Daaaamn, look how dapper he is in the picture in the bottom left hand corner.

[doctimusprime]

Meine Wut

Sag mir, wie weit willst Du geh'n willst Du ihn am Boden seh'n - Ja willst Du, dass er vor Dir kniet willst Du, dass er um Gnade fleht

Rachegedanken von Demut gepeitscht Du siehst und hörst nichts mehr Deine kranken Gefühle geben ihm keine Chance Deine Wut will nicht sterben nur dafür lebst Du noch

Du kannst, Du willst und wirst nie vergeben und Du verteufelst sein ganzes Leben treibst in den Wahnsinn von maßlosem Zorn, Vernichtung und Rache, Du bist zum Hassen gebor'n

Meine Wut will nicht sterben Meine Wut will nicht sterben Meine Wut stirbt nie

Deinen Hass rammst Du wie einen Stein in ihn hinein Rammstein -  hast ihn verfolgt, gejagt und verflucht und er hat kriechend das Weite gesucht

Du kannst, Du willst und wirst nie vergeben und Du verteufelst sein ganzes Leben treibst in den Wahnsinn von maßlosem Zorn, Vernichtung und Rache, Du bist zum Hassen gebor'n

Meine Wut will nicht sterben Meine Wut will nicht sterben Meine Wut stirbt nie

Du kannst, Du willst und wirst nie vergeben und Du verteufelst sein ganzes Leben treibst in den Wahnsinn von maßlosem Zorn, Vernichtung und Rache, Du bist zum Hassen gebor'n

Meine Wut will nicht sterben Meine Wut will nicht sterben Meine Wut stirbt nie

[brendalikewhoa]

“My cat defends my son during a vicious dog attack!”

That cat’s a BAMF! Glad I’m a cat owner.

[doctimusprime]

I've never loved cats more than I do now. Thank goodness the little guy is okay.

[dorjeadornments]

Amy & Mckenna show off their matching mother/daughter conch piercings by Nick. #piercing #dorjeadornments #piercingrochester #anatometal #app #safepiercing #appmember (at Dorje Adornments)

[doctimusprime]

If I ever have a daughter (or son, for that matter, since piercings look great on guys, too), and she's into body piercing, we're totally getting matching piercings tricked out with Anatometal jewelry. Coolest mom on the block, I'll be.

[doctimusprime]

On a more positive note...

I know I've probably spent more time complaining about my job on this blog than I have talking about the positive aspects of it. I think most of us tend to do that in general - it's simply much easier to focus on the bad than on the good (just watch your local evening news - all the horrific stuff is presented up front, with maybe 1 or 2 feel-good stories thrown in near the end of the segment). Being a physician is hard, and there are certainly some days when I just want to throw my hands up in the air in frustration and walk out of the clinic/hospital. But in the grand scheme of things, I love my career, and I can't think of anything else I would rather do.

I'm not a trauma surgeon or an ICU physician, so I'm not exactly saving lives in a dramatic way on a daily basis. The way physicians are portrayed on television (e.g., ER, House, Grey's Anatomy) makes it seem as if doctors only get gratification out of their work if they save the day and cure someone's complicated, obscure, fatal illness. Granted, I was totally stoked when a cardiac arrest patient I was once doing chest compressions on in the ER actually regained his pulse and survived long enough to be transferred to a tertiary hospital (where he may or may not have died, I have no clue). But smaller medical victories mean just as much, if not more, to me because it's often the everyday, garden variety problems that really impact a person's life.

So if any of you, as patients, ever go to see your family doctors to follow up on a problem that's actually gotten better, know that we're just as pleased and excited about that as you are. Below are some pictures that capture how I feel when a patient gives me good news:

Your HbA1c decreased from 11.2% to 8.5% through diet, exercise, and taking your insulin? Hell yeah!

Your shoulder pain improved with physiotherapy and NSAIDs, and now you're back to regular duties at work? Rock on!

Your grades have come up since starting Concerta and getting behavioural therapy at school to treat your ADHD? Who's awesome? YOU are!

Your oncologist said your cancer is in remission? Aww yeah! High five for making cancer your bitch!

These are the moments I live for in my career. This is what makes the sleep deprivation, the truckload of student debt, and the Oh, fuck me days worth it.

[doctimusprime]

I can't believe this song is 14 years old. Vintage Craig David with his sexy, sexy voice that made me absolutely swoon as a teenage girl.

[hot-asian-chicks]

My wife wanted a massage so i bought her a cat.

More Hilarious Gifs

[doctimusprime]

My cats need to learn how to do this. Seriously.

[doctimusprime]

So, I'm not really cut out for this whole pseudo-parenting thing...

Maybe I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong, but I'm worried about my ex's daughter.

I've made mention of her less than stellar behaviour before, but she's still unfortunately heading down a shitty path. Since many 13-year-olds throw caution to the wind when it comes to posting things online, I stumbled across a picture of her dressed in something entirely inappropriate for someone her age, holding a bottle of vodka. Vodka. She can't be more than 80 lbs - how the hell can her liver handle that?

She's also dating a 16-year-old boy who's made no secret of telling the world how much he enjoys "smokin weed n poppin cherries!" I recently noticed on her blog that she received several anonymous comments from someone who apparently dated her boyfriend before, and who had nothing but negative things to say about him. Things like how he used younger girls for sex before dumping them. This anonymous individual tried to warn my ex's daughter to stay away from him, only to get profound replies like "fuck off bitch" and "why are u hatin" (ugh, seeing grammar like that makes me absolutely cringe).

I was quite appalled by all of this, so I left an anonymous comment of my own, pointing out that her boyfriend seemed to raise a lot of red flags, and that she shouldn't let herself be pressured into things that she didn't feel comfortable doing. Her snide reply to this was, "okay mom".

I just left it at that, but this is what I wanted to say:

"Okay mom?" Wow, that's a witty retort. Did you come up with that one all by yourself? But no, I'm not your mother. Your real mother is so selfishly consumed with her own issues that she doesn't give you and your brothers the care and attention that you deserve. Your father is the superior parent and he loves you very much, but he can be incredibly naive, and you may have noticed that his priorities have gotten really skewed over time. I hope that he's not too busy with work and going on drunken pub crawls with his "friends" to realize that you're getting yourself mixed up in some dangerous stuff. I hope that he's actually there for you.

Look, I know you think you're hot shit, but the truth is that you're a silly little girl who doesn't have a damned clue. You're 13 years old, for fuck's sake. You shouldn't be drinking. You shouldn't be smoking marijuana. You shouldn't be having sex (if you actually are sleeping with your 16-year-old boyfriend, that would technically be statutory rape, which is a crime).

You deserve better than the chaos you're walking right into. And it drives me mad that I can't convince you of that because I'm not a part of your life, and I never will be. But I used to care very much about your father, and by extension I cared about you, too. Please, please, be careful and take care of yourself.

I'm contemplating the idea of sending a text to my ex about how concerned I am about his daughter. I have no interest whatsoever in rekindling the relationship or even being friends with him, but he needs to do something about her behaviour. Unfortunately, I suspect he'll a) not believe me, or b) tell me to bugger off and mind my own business. But maybe it's still worth a shot.

[doctimusprime]

I can even write it down for you on my prescription pad

Obviously, patients would file all sorts of complains about me to the College if I flat out told them things like this, but some people really need to be called out on their shit.

[doctimusprime]

In the dark

I'm from where the magic is I'll give you what I cannot take away with me And the sunlit day and moon I wanna have a silent kiss I wanna make you mine I'm thinking how... Can't leave me now Stay with me somehow

You come from where the fire is You give me what you couldn't burn the last time One sunless day and moon I wanna be so close to you See whatever scars you carry within your broken heart Mine's your missing part Come with me where the magic is There's more than light we could share We could join the sun and moon...if you want to Be my lifeline for this lifetime Suffer in pleasure forever and ever I'd like to see how the walls around your heart will fall apart Stop resisting, let the light in Suffer in pleasure forever and ever For this one lifetime Let me take you where the magic is Back in time, remember the light Of the cold December moon I wanna have a silent kiss I wanna make you mine I'm thinking you can't leave me now Stay with me somehow

(Stay with me somehow) Come with me where the magic is There is more than light we can share We could own the sun and moon Be my lifeline for this lifetime Suffer in pleasure forever and ever I'd like to see how the walls around your heart will fall apart Stop resisting, let the light in Suffer in pleasure forever and ever For this one lifetime

I am feeling your face in the dark I'm hearing you breathe in the dark I am tasting your lips in the dark I'm holding you close in the dark I'll take you where the magic is I'll give you everything I only can offer You can have my broken midnight moon If you give me your broken heart And I will give you something real and golden We can make this life the finest art... I come from where the magic is I'd give you what I could take away with me And a sunlit day and moon I wanna have a silent kiss I wanna make you mine I'm thinking you can't leave me now Stay with me somehow I am feeling your face in the dark I'm hearing you breathe in the dark I am tasting your lips in the dark I'm holding you close in the dark

[doctimusprime]

Absolutely enchanting.

[thisdanobrien]

How do you make socialization less scary? Goal-oriented interaction like presentations and projects I can handle, but when it comes to general mingling I always wind up standing stiffly off to the side, reminding myself to make eye contact and not bite my nails, and my sentences become more jumbled than a box of miscellaneous legos despite being planned well in advance. HOW IS PEOPLE CONTACT SUPPOSED TO WORK?!

Sorry to hear about your anxiety issues, it can be pretty tough. I’ve talked to a few doctors about this actually and together we’ve come up with a ten-step process that I think has gotten me to a much healthier place. I’m no expert, I don’t know if it’ll work for everyone, but I’ve certainly found success with it.

1. Take a deep, deep breath, and really focus on your breathing. You’re not thinking about the crowd, where to put your hands, and the music and your nails and everything else- all you need to think about for the next twenty seconds is a deep breath. That’s one thing. You can handle one thing.

2. Count to ten. That’s easy, you can do that. You have total control over your ability to count to ten. Look at you, crushing ten.

[Remember, the key to socialization is being comfortable with yourself first. People are like more sophisticated versions of dogs; they can sense if your nervous or tense and they will respond in kind.]

3. Life your shoulders up, then roll them back and down. This is relaxing (and will help your posture) and it is yet another thing you can control, which seems to be in your wheelhouse; you’re comfortable doing presentations because everything is written out or rehearsed, there’s no room for spontaneity, you have everyone’s full attention and you are in complete control.

4. Accept that you won’t be able to control the people/events in this room or party, but you CAN control how you respond to them.

5. Take another deep breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Very good.

6. Take out the bag of spiders you’ve been keeping in your inside jacket pocket and liberally sprinkle them throughout the party. Slowly, everyone else at the party will notice the spiders (the bag should have lots) and they will all individually come to the realization that they ALSO can’t control the events of the world. When Chaos is given a voice, the playing field becomes even.

[The spiders can smell blood in the air and will thank you for the gift you’ve given them.]

7. Isolate the person who seems to be the most “in charge” in the room. This will be an authority figure (in a work situation) or the person who seems least phased by all of the spiders (at a party or family gathering).

8. Unhinge your lower jaw and consume this person. His authority was imaginary and reliant on the cooperation of cowards and charlatans. You are neither. You are a shark in a sea of guppies. What everyone else in the world is looking for, you’ve already found and discarded.

9. The light inside you is the only light that truly matters. It burns brightest and hottest. It would be blinding to anyone else, but not you, you are the Warrior and the Father.

10. One more deep breath.

Hope this helps!

[doctimusprime]

DOB is my hero.

[doctimusprime]

This is mostly me thinking out loud. Mostly.

I find transition periods to be quite frightening sometimes. And I'm heading towards one at an incredibly fast rate.

As some (or none) of you may know, I'll be completing my medical residency at the end of June. I'll be treating myself to a 2-week vacation in July, and then doing some locum work for a couple of family physicians straight through until the end of August. After that...

...I don't have a damned clue.

I've had thoughts of travelling abroad somewhere, maybe for a few weeks. The main limiting factor would be money, though. If I seek out the right opportunities (e.g., emergency room shifts) in the right areas (e.g., the boonies), I could probably make $1000 per day, with no overhead. That's pretty fucking sweet. But I'm also $25,000 in debt with student loans (which is actually very little, compared to some of my resident colleagues), and because I was raised with such a rigid sense of fiscal responsibility, I want to pay as much of that off as I can before the interest starts piling up. And if that means having to delay travel, well, that's okay. It's not like the rest of the world is going anywhere, (although now that I've typed that, I've probably just jinxed the planet into an impending apocalypse, because that's just how my life seems to work out).

I don't have a concrete plan, though, which worries me. I mean, I know that I don't want to settle right down into starting my own practice, because I do want to see how other clinics operate, and get a better sense of what I want my future practice to look like. And I'd certainly be content to spend the next year or two (or maybe 3 or more) bouncing around the country, doing locums. But could I tell you where exactly I'll be in 1 years' time, or even in September 2014? No, I couldn't. Hell, as far as 5-year plans go, all I know is that I'd probably want to have my own practice by then. (I'm pretty sure that I'm going to stay in Canada, though. The American health care system is a complete gong show that I want no part of, and while it apparently wouldn't be very hard for me to spend a year or so working in Australia, I'm pretty sure the heat and the million things per square foot that could potentially kill me would turn me off from staying here permanently).

I think one thing that makes it difficult for me to formulate a clear plan is that I don't have any major obligations. I'm single and I don't have any children, so it's not like I would be uprooting anyone if I decided to race across the country doing locums. When my father became quite ill back in November 2013 (at the time I didn't know if he was going to survive or not), the idea of moving back to my hometown after residency seemed like the best decision, so that I could help look after him and be there for my mother and my brother. Thankfully, my father went on to make a full recovery, and since my brother and his wife live within driving distance of my parents, I'm comfortable with the idea of delaying a move back home for a few years (or perhaps indefinitely? Who knows?). Of course my family is still, and always will be, an important part of my life, but I've been alone for a long time now. I know that sounds odd, but even when I did live with my parents (which I did up until a few months short of my 25th birthday), I felt like I was on my own - we're just not that close of a family.

To be honest, I'm okay with that. I do get lonely sometimes, because I'm still human. But I have my two cats, and I enjoy my own company, and although it seems like all of my friends are engaged/married/having babies, I'm in no rush to experience that myself. I want to get the hang of functioning as an independent adult before I bumble my way into a serious romantic relationship, and having children is a fucking huge step (or rather, leap into the unknown) that I am in no way, shape, or form, prepared to take right now.

Damn. I'm pretty sure most people in their mid-to-late twenties go through something like this at some point in time, and I suspect that I'm luckier than most, what with my overall job security and financial stability. But wow, it doesn't make this any less scary.

[kittiezandtittiez]

[doctimusprime]

The only thing I would change about this is that I won't make you cookies, because I can't bake/cook/sauté/[insert any culinary skill here] worth shit. I would, however, buy you a tasty treat of your choice, because what I lack in domestic skills, I make up for with disposable income.

[i-am-not-the-light-you-see]

Paul’s coffee obsession :)

[doctimusprime]

Now here is a man who just gets it. Well done, Mr. Landers.