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Forever a believer that Thranduil doesn't use pet names unless he wants something

But when he does it's Mhelethron (Doriathren Sindarin for "lover," masculine)

#barduil #bard x thranduil #pseudohades.txt #headcanon

#1 favorite Barduil dynamic for me is that in public it's Bard hanging off the Elvenking's arm while the Elvenking politicks and smiles with sharp teeth and leads them both in a dance he's been performing flawlessly for millennia, and in private it's Bard taking Thranduil's rings off one by one and kissing his shaky hands and his furrowed brow and his broad, hunched shoulders and all of the other tense, sore parts of him until that tension ebbs away and the facade falters and he crumbles in Bard's arms. Because for all he's perfected that dance as the Elvenking he can't perform it forever, and for all he appears flat and cold and composed in public, Thranduil is exhausted and in pain and a wreck. And elves don't get chronic pain, they don't stay injured, they either succumb to their wounds and sail or fade and are reborn whole and healthy in the West or make full recoveries. None of his people understand what his life is like day to day, and he doesn't let them. He's never had anyone treat him so gently before, he always has to pretend, he's never gotten to stop performing. And Bard is there, a mortal, treating his vulnerability like the miracle and gift that it is, easing what he can of the pain and replacing what remains with pleasure and warmth. It's terrifying how good it feels to let himself be vulnerable with Bard knowing he is safe. It brings Thranduil to weeping.

#Thranduil doesn't cry except during sex i know this in my heart #and the gentler the sex the more Thranduil cries #he can endure so much suffering while appearing perfectly neutral and unaffected #but tenderness gets to him like nothing else he CANNOT handle it he WILL start silently crying #Thranduil number one guy who needs to ugly cry #He's got a lot of exremely powerful emotions bottled up that he needs release for #And I think Bard would find it concerning at first but once he understands why it would be hot and become a goal for him #Because he knows if Thranduil's crying it means he feels safe and it means Bard is doing a good job #because if Thranduil felt any less than completely safe he wouldn't be letting himself have that #barduil #bard x thranduil #pseudohades.txt #headcanon

Is Bard actually "grim of face" inherently or is he just living in crippling poverty and skipping meals so his kids don't go hungry and on top of all of that having the second worst week of his life when Bilbo meets him

#Bard is a scrawny street rat of a man with major depression and Bilbo is from the land of everyone being fat and happy #so #like.#yea Bard is grim. but consider #the Circumstances #are Not helping #i think some stability and 3 hearty meals a day would do a great deal for him actually #it's not going to erase the mental health issues but it will make them significantly less acute #bard the bowman #the hobbit #pseudohades.txt

Broke: Thranduil bending down a little bit to kiss Bard

Woke: Bard getting on tip-toe to kiss Thranduil

Bespoke: Thranduil's neck is Right Fucking There

It's Right Fucking There

Giant red youtube thumbnail arrow. Tongue goes there.

#all of these are good i like all of these #another very good option is Bard pulling Thranduil's head down. hand in his hair. turns his brain off i think #that 5 inch height difference is everything to me #barduil #bard x thranduil #pseudohades.txt

Listen man I know Thranduil is soooooo much older than Bard canonically like it's not even close but if you'll excuse me I have to think about a modern AU where he's a twenty-something college student getting dicked down by his middle aged professor

#Bard's DILF energy is so potent I think it works tbh but maybe I'm insane for that #barduil #bard x thranduil #pseudohades.txt

Whatever you do don't think about Bard losing his vision as he ages. He was Thranduil's second sight, covering his blind spot, for decades. Then, towards towards the end, it becomes Thranduil (who still has his right eye) caring for Bard, who's left with darkness and the vague blurry silhouettes of his loved ones in his twilight years-- [gets shot]

#Thranduil finds the nonviolent inevitability of it particularly cruel. That it wasn't /an event/ that left Bard blind.#That it's just... /happening/ and neither of them can do anything to stop it #And that through all of this Bard looks /fine/. There's no scar. No damage. Those are still the same hazel eyes he found captivating.#They just... can't quite place him anymore. They're never quite looking.#Due to his own experience he is positioned pretty well to help Bard through this but it would be emotionally devastating for both of them #And me #(gleefully) wouldn't that be fucked up or what #barduil #bard x thranduil #pseudohades.txt #headcanon

Thranduil would 100% send Bard a letter or a thrush saying "Visiting Dale in three days, don't wash" a la Napoleon. I know in my heart that this is true.

#Bard: I'm absolutely disgusting right now sorry o.O #Thranduil (entire face in the bush): never apologize for that.#Thranduil scent kink is real to me it comes with the territory of enhanced senses and the novelty of it since elves don't really get stinky #And like. Humans probably do have pheromones we're just really bad at detecting and responding to them because we don't have a VNO #(vomeronasal organ)#But elves might...#Barduil #headcanon #pseudohades.txt #creature elves

Lonely in this rarepair sandbox (thinking about Beorn and Thranduil fucking nastystyle)

#pseudohades.txt

#pseudohades.txt

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#pseudohades.txt