#pssshh

[thxgrxmrexpxr]

are you married?

"Hell no. Who the fuck would want to do that, Grey?"

[approaching-the-scrungularity]

Adventures in Goblin Mixology

See this here? This is a little beauty I like to call an Unforgivable Sin. Now, according to biblical canon (stay with me), in the book of Mark (hold on a minute), Jesus Christ Himself lists the only unforgivable sin as being blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (most of you didn't make it this far). Most people take this to mean that a person who intentionally turns away from God, having known Him, is unforgivable, their sin eternal. Well, because I am a horrible goblin, this drink is just about nasty enough to be a direct blasphemy in the sight of the holy spirit, for no loving God would allow such a creation to exist. (NOW YOU UNDERSTAND!) It is: One part cold apple cider One part bargain cola Two parts Monster energy drink (classic edition! wow!) Blot of Creeeeeeaaaaaaammmm (that's the crap curdled on top in the photo)

THIS HAS BEEN ADVENTURES IN GOBLIN MIXOLOGY time to give myself what is probably a fine amount of heart failure. Thank you for watchin, tune in next time.

[erasedcitizen2]

Recipe: *doesn't include garlic*

Me: Fake News

[janielslittlesecret]

A fashion icon

[bdawwn]

Have you tried the electric flosser in your belly button?

Idk what you're talking about

[postergirlwithnoposter]

My mom texting me from downstairs: Can you turn your jazz vinyl down? Me: It's not JAZZ, really, it's David Bowie and it's actually a CD. I don't own Reality on vinyl. Mom: Whatever, turn it down.

It wasn't that loud, but I'll oblige. I will put on headphones, because I need to listen to iiiiiit. 😂

[slyyywriting]

the chiropractor realigned me and now i feel light af. also i forgive who ever wronged me this year

[chrishinxmcgee2]