I’m starting to realize that the root of all my problems really does lie in me (surprise!😎😂😭). I mean... just the way that I tell my story. I’m not trying to judge myself. I’m coming from a marbled past like everyone else, full of its own darkness and light, and uniquely mine, in every aspect. My story... the way I tell my story... it’s in my incessant nervous (terrified) laughter. It’s in my dodgy shifty gotta go-ness. It’s in my “let’s change the subject.” But the subject is still... my... unique... perspective. I can do the most good and honor the most people, by seeing the most good in me, and honoring myself. Some may think this means glossing over the negative aspects... I think it means RECLAIMING the negative aspects. How we overcome obstacles helps give us momentum to overcome what’s next. How we see ourselves, our victories and triumphs, that’s what empowers us. Can you really be victorious when everything is fine? Can you triumph mediocrity? Our victories are enormous in stature - you didn’t just keep going - you SURVIVED. Our triumphs are lifesavers... you didn’t beat the situation, you successfully implemented strategy and overcame weaknesses in yourself. That’s the biggest and best thing any of us can do in life. It’s no small feat. I HAVE to stop dismissing myself. I have to stop hating myself. I have to start loving myself... more fully. The “yucky” parts too. I don’t owe anyone an explanation. I don’t have to give everyone my backstory and opinion. I... just... need... to love myself. The right people will love me for being true to myself, for seeking authenticity and vulnerability in myself, and for loving myself exactly as I am. The right people will remain when my facades fall. The right people will still be by my side when the mask comes off. The most important person who needs to love that woman underneath the mask... that’s me. #babySteps #CantSmileAllTheTime #CantRainAllTheTime #OneDayAtATime #pssshhhh (at Fairfield, Iowa)