PTA Reader (Platonic!Reader and PTA Sans) Part 22
Summary: In which Linda has another one of her 'excellent' ideas.
"-And that's why I think we should have a Haunted House event at the school." "Linda, it's the middle of February." Linda ignored Sans' comment. "It's a bit short notice, I know, but I think we could decorate a few classrooms in the span of a few hours if we all work together." "What do you mean, 'short notice'?" you ask, already dreading the reply. After all, Sans was right- it was nowhere near Halloween. "I may have already printed out flyers and posted them around town." Linda replied off-handedly, as if this was completely normal. Then again, it kind of was for her. "When is this Haunted House supposed to open?" you ask, holding your forehead in your hands. "Friday," Linda replied cheerfully. "This Friday?" you inquire, tone full of disbelief. Linda nodded, smiling as if she hadn't just announced, with less than a week of notice, that the PTA was going to be hosting a Haunted House event. "Let me get this straight," one of the teachers spoke up, "you're giving us three days to put together a Haunted House. Do you even have any decorations prepared, or do we need to make those too? And how are we going to get people to act in the Haunted House? No one's going to agree to that on such short notice!" "Fortunately, that won't be a problem. I'm sure the monsters will help out." Linda replied, completely ignoring the other questions. Sans frowned. "What exactly are you expecting us monsters to help out with?" "You know, being the creepy monsters that 'haunt' the classrooms." Linda explained. "Anyway-" "They are not creepy!" you all-but-shouted, furious at the insult directed at your friends. "Whatever." Linda didn't appear particularly concerned by your outburst, just a bit annoyed at being interrupted. "As I was saying-" "What makes you think we'll agree to help you when you insult us like that?" Sans pointed out. "You and that tall, loud skeleton can be in the science classroom. Like deceased mad scientists that returned to finish their incomplete experiments or something," Linda continued, ignoring Sans completely. She also didn't seem to note Sans' expression growing especially irritated by her suggestion. You didn't know why, but it seemed her idea had struck a nerve. "We are not doing that." Sans said coldly. "Yes you are, for the good of the Haunted House-" "We are not doing that." The temperature in the room seemed to have dropped ten degrees in an instant, and Sans' generally bright eye lights were completely gone. "Or you can just be those plastic skeletons that teachers use to teach children the names of all the bones," Linda suggested hastily, looking slightly terrified. An instant later, Sans was back to normal, acting like nothing had happened. "Heh, sure. That could be humerus." This reaction appeared not to lessen Linda's fear in the slightest. "Tibia honest, I agree," you added, trying to ease the tension in the room. By now, most of the other occupants of the room had more or less relaxed, but Linda was quite obviously avoiding looking in Sans' direction. The fact she didn't even scowl at you when you made a pun spoke volumes. This was already off to a concerning start. You could only imagine how much worse preparations for this Haunted House were going to get. At least Linda had the sense not to suggest any other monsters for roles in the event for the remainder of the meeting. Instead, she spent the time organizing everyone into groups to prepare decorations and decorate classrooms. A riot almost started when Linda insisted everyone meet up the next day, since most of the members already had plans. She eventually managed to guilt almost everyone into coming, by claiming the Haunted House would reflect on the PTA as a whole so it had to be perfect. You bit back a comment on how she shouldn't have given everyone less than a week of notice if she wanted perfection, but just barely. It wasn't like it would do any good at this point, anyway. If she'd already put up the fliers, they couldn't push back the Haunted House's opening.
The monsters had been surprisingly receptive to the idea of helping out with the Haunted House- though you had a feeling Linda calling them creepy hadn't made it's way into the conversation- and many had even agreed to help the PTA set everything up. You weren't sure how Linda was going to explain to the rest of the school's staff why there were fake cobwebs strewn throughout the school in February, but that wasn't your problem. So, you, a few parents and teachers, and some of the monsters were now decorating the auditorium under Mettaton's directions. Mettaton had claimed this room as his and Napstablook's domain, not that anyone had actually tried to challenge it. Apparently, Mettaton had talked Napstablook into putting on a literal rendition of 'the Phantom of the Opera' which you doubted would be scary, but would certainly be entertaining. Muffet had offered to 'haunt' the Cafeteria and hand out spider pastries. Linda had looked like she wanted to argue, but when she realized how helpful and efficient Muffet's spider friends were at hanging decorations, she decided it was a fair price to pay for having the Haunted House ready on time. Even so, everyone was still working on Friday afternoon to put the finishing touches on the 'haunted' rooms. It wasn't until a half hour before the first opening of the Haunted House to the public that Linda finally announced everything was finished. This was a relief to the entire set-up crew, all of whom had spent many hours in the past few days being yelled at by Linda as she tried to direct them in putting the decorations up. Even you, while used to being yelled at during PTA meetings, thought she was going overboard with the shouting. Someone had jokingly suggested Linda play a role in the Haunted House as a banshee. Linda had been furious, but hadn't been able to yell at them about it since it would just prove their point, so she'd resorted to silently fuming. You had somehow been convinced to guide the children from room to room, and Linda insisted you try to make everything seem scarier, since the monsters were all quite friendly. However, you thought it would be a lot more interesting to have a friendly Haunted House than a scary one, though you didn't say that aloud, figuring Linda would just yell at you again. When everyone was in their places, Linda led a group of children over to where you waited at the school's entrance. "Hello, everyone," you told the kids, smiling. "Be scarier," Linda instructed you. "Sorry. Hello, everyone," you repeated in what you hoped was an ominous tone. Frisk, who was among the group of children, burst out laughing. "In my defense, I had no practice," you explained. "You're not supposed to tell them that! Now start the tour, and be scarier!" Linda hissed at you, though you were relatively certain all the children could hear her. "Alright," you shrugged. "Follow me," you added to the children, attempting your ominous tone again. Frisk stifled more laughter. "I know, I know, I'm not ominous at all," you laughed. "Would you like to give it a shot?" Frisk seemed to have a relatively lengthy mental debate, before smiling victoriously. A few moments later, they spoke in a tone infinitely more ominous than your own, "Follow me." Impressed, you grinned, "You should lead the tour instead of me! Then again, I'd have to ruin the mood by telling you what to say..." "Will you just get on with the tour already," Linda glared at you. "Right, come on," you agreed, leading the children down a hallway towards the first room. The first stop was the science classroom, where Sans and Papyrus were waiting, pretending to be plastic model skeletons. As you opened the door and the children filed into the classroom, you began the tale of the first room. "In a science classroom seemingly like any other, there are two model skeletons. They wait motionless during the day, but after sunset..." Here, you paused as Sans and Papyrus started making subtle movements. The children quickly noticed, a few of them shrieking in surprise. "...They awaken and begin to roam the classroom." Sans and Papyrus wandered around the classroom obligingly. "The skeletons look for living beings..." Sans began slowly approaching the group, causing a few children to stumble backwards or cower together, but Frisk actually stepped closer. As Sans ruffled Frisk's hair, you finished the story, "...Because they're actually quite bonely!" Sans chuckled while Papyrus facepalmed. "HUMAN, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO MAKE A PUN! YOU RUINED OUR ENTIRE ACT!" All the children, even those who had initially been frightened, laughed. You grinned, happy to see your idea had worked. "And now it is time to move on to the next stop," you said, and Sans and Papyrus waved as you led the children back out of the classroom. Several children waved back. Next was the auditorium, and as soon as the doors leading to it could be seen at the end of the hallway you began speaking again. "In the auditorium, it is said, that once, long ago, a performance of 'The Phantom of the Opera' was held. All was going well until one of the actors tripped onstage, breaking their leg. From that point on, the performance was cursed- anytime a group attempted to perform 'The Phantom of the Opera' on that stage, someone would trip and injure themselves. Now the only ones who attempt the performance here..." you dramatically flung the doors open before continuing, "...Are the phantoms themselves." On stage, a single spotlight shone on Mettaton. Soon, he was joined by Napstablook, although the shy ghost left most of the acting to Mettaton. Not that Mettaton seemed to mind; you had a feeling he'd intended for this to happen, and that his participation in this Haunted House had mainly just been an excuse to perform in front of an audience. When Mettaton was eventually finished, you led the children in a round of applause. While Mettaton enthusiastically thanked them for being a wonderful audience, Napstablook shyly floated backstage. Then, the children chatted excitedly about the performance while you led them to the Cafeteria, growing silent again only when you began to speak. "Now, are you all hungry for a snack?" "Yes!" the children chorused. "Excellent," you replied. "The spiders are always happy to share their food." Entering the Cafeteria revealed Muffet and an army of spiders waiting, the room literally covered in cobwebs. "Ahuhuhu~" Muffet smiled, "Welcome! We have plenty of spider pastries for you to sample~ Made by spiders, for spiders... and of spiders!" Several children glanced at you uncertainly, and you smiled and nodded encouragingly at them. Plates of spider pastries waited on the tables, in an impressive display of flavors. Frisk made a beeline towards a plate of chocolate pastries. "Ahuhuhu~ I didn't know you liked chocolate so much," Muffet said. "I'll make chocolate pastries for you more often." "Sweet! Thanks," Frisk replied, though their tone was slightly different than normal. You decided not to think much of it, and were soon distracted by the other children, who after watching Frisk eat a spider pastry without issue had determined the treats safe to consume and quickly gathered around the tables. Once everyone was ready to continue, you led them out of the Cafeteria and to the gym. Various monsters waited inside the gym, where they would be playing a game of basketball. Undyne and Alphys were the captains of the teams. "In the gym, every evening, gather two teams, cursed for eternity to face each other in a game of basketball. The two teams once faced each other during a World Cup, each certain they would be the victors. However, the game ended in a draw. The teams challenged each other to a rematch, with the same result. Now they continue these rematches, until one team wins. Both teams play with equal skill, and the games are doomed to always end in a tie. Thus, they will never be free from the endless rematches..." The monsters played a short game of basketball for the children to watch, with the game ending in a tie and all the monsters feigning exhaustion and annoyance as they left the court afterwards. To your amazement, several of the children looked like they felt bad for them. Perhaps you had made the 'backstory' too sad? Well, it was too late to change it now. "Is everyone ready for the final location on our tour?" you asked, hoping to cheer the children up or at least distract them. Nods followed your statement, and you led the children back outside of the school, over to an area of the lawn where Asgore and Toriel were tending to some plants. Asgore seemed to be trimming a bush into the shape of a skull. You hoped he had gotten permission to do that beforehand. "Two gardeners have been working at this school for centuries," you began. "They leave messages for those who see their work within the symbolism of the flowers they choose to plant, and the shapes into which they trim the bushes-" "Is... Is someone gonna die? That's a skull!" one of the children cried, pointing nervously at the bush. Asgore looked back sheepishly. "No, not at all!" you said hastily, "In fact, the skull is one of the best symbols you can find! It symbolizes happiness and peace." Hopefully their Language Arts teachers wouldn't get mad at you over this. You could just imagine the children writing something like that in an essay... Oh well, at least they all seemed happy now. "Um, where was I? Oh, right. The current flowers symbolize friendship and luck..." Once the children had a chance to examine the small garden, you led them back to the entrance of the school. Linda was waiting there impatiently. "What took so long?" she demanded when the group reached her. "Uh... What do you mean?" you asked, confused. The tour had taken less than an hour, so you weren't sure why she was complaining. "Never mind." Linda huffed irritably. "Well, was it a success?" The children all cheered loudly, most adding a comment about how cool the monsters were. This made Linda scowl, and you grin. "The monsters were supposed to scare them!" Linda told you angrily, to which you shrugged. "I bet you made the stories less scary on purpose!" Linda insinuated in a tone only slightly quieter than a yell, glaring at you. "You ruined my Haunted House!!" "Ahhh! It's a banshee!" one of the children, though you couldn't tell which, shouted. Instantly, many of the children began echoing the claim, pointing at Linda. Linda sent you a withering glare, and you couldn't help but laugh. "Did you put them up to this?" Linda shrieked at you, only adding fuel to the children's shouts. "No," you replied between bouts of laughter. Linda didn't seem to believe you, but getting to witness this was certainly worth earning her ire.
