Aah, it seems that I won’t be able to finish this challenge before New Year comes! Oh well. Anyway, one of the reasons why the latest half of the year was so hard is that there were multiple factors that affected me in the negative way. Accumulated stress and tiredness from the hardest year before graduation? Check. Dealing with new “adult” roles and changes in the way I live? Check. And so on, and so on, it’s a long list and I don’t want to remember the bad things anyway! But the latest “discovery” that I made was the fact that I’ve been overworking myself. So, in my quest to be productive I have been including like from 7-9 to like 13-15 goals for a single day thinking that it’s normal. But after a while my energy levels decreased and I often was able to complete only 3-5 goals while stressing that I can’t do anything else. And the worst part was - I couldn’t enjoy most things that I was doing because I didn’t even want to do them at that point (because there was no end to the things to do and I had to do something like all the fucking time). I have noticed that and decided that maybe I’m being a little too intense. Since I have already encountered this problem before, I turned to the previous solution of this problem - Anna Akana’s video:
The funny things is that I wanted to watch it so the video could tell me that I’m lazy and I must complete at least 7 goals a day, I thought that it would motivate me to do it! But it turns out that 3-5 goals a day is a norm (the exact amount that I’ve been doing! Ahaha) It’s just that in my very intense previous year I decided that I need to do at least 7 to keep up with everything but that’s not a healthy norm for me now. I’ve had almost all negative symptoms that Anna’s talking about. I’ve adjusted my plans and now I feel much better! Really, It’s better to do 3 things really well instead of 10 half-heartedly. Life is long! I will have time to do the things I want to do, but I want to focus on each one!
Honestly, I have kinda allowed myself to really take it easy for this week because I clearly deserved that after taking on too many things!
I worked a lot, I met with a friend who I haven’t seen for a while, practiced drawing (I remember how to hold and hmm, press the pencil in the right way! I’m no longer frustrated with my drawings!), I’ve done some self-therapy, I meditated, worked on being more positive, revised healthy thinking patterns and wise thoughts that I have written down in the past, watched the last season of Voltron (goodbye, Voltron т.т) and two seasons of KIm’s Convinience (a great show about Korean family! Hello, Kim’s Convenience!), did some yoga, rearranged clothes in the wardrobe, really worked on my inner state, worked with different aspects of myself to help me exist and evolve in the way that I want. Listened to audiobook about anthropology and read Hogfather, started to monitor my mood during the day.
It’s time to be happy! I don’t want to wait anymore! Let’s goooooooooooo!