#punch au

[poidkea]

so punch au eq goes to nepeta's winery and finds her in some dark secluded corner hungover in a pile of fancy cheese wrappers?

yeah its his monday routine

[poidkea]

Thank you so much! I'm still in the planning stages so it doesn't mess with it. I love winery owner Nepeta and traveling photographer Equius!!! They're wonderful and this gives more credibility for Equius globehopping later on. I'm going to have a chapter where Equius and Nepeta show Karkat the winery now. Hmm...Im not sure what job Karkat should have, I'm leaning toward marriage counselor or novelist. Any thoughts?

karkat doesnt have a career he has like, a minimum wage job somewhere to help him pay for grad school. hes studying something liberal-artsy and has big dreams. maybe his big dreams are to be a novelist or marriage counselor!

[poidkea]

Me again! While I've been a bit busy with studying for finals, I think I've mapped out an outline for the fanfic I'm writing of your au, but I'd like to ask some questions to further the quality of the work. Should this be a single long chapter or episodic? What jobs do Karkat, Equius, and Nepeta have? Are all of Karkat's past boyfriends living in Italy too? Where in Italy does Karkat live? How did he break up with all his past boyfriends? Sorry to ask, but I want to do a good job for you.

i give you full creative freedom for everything, except nepetas job, which im going to make up right now and you have to stick with it. nepeta has an italian winery known for its barberas that she inherited it from her rich wine-making parents and she is fucking it up slowly but surely. she cant taste the difference between wines they all taste the same to her. it’s a side plot. thats a real part of the AU that i made up right now. equius has a fine pallet for wine and helps out on weekends when he’s in the country. hes a travel photographer. thats also something i made up right now.

(karkat is grad student. and each of his boyfriends broke up with him, except dave, who karkat broke up with when he realized he was essentially a replacement for rose and also kind of a revenge against her.)

[poidkea]

Also the whole Equius X Karkat post you added, I lit up like a Christmas tree and squealed, it is so cute and moving o swear I nearly turned Trickster. Its all blends of adorable and sweet, as well as shows the growth of the characters. Also, big bara Equius flexing for the camera while posing Karkat in front of a monument is wonderful. Would it be ok for me to write a fanfic about this, i would quote you and your cocreator for inspiration I would just like to write something for this amazing au

haha shit yeah im glad you liked it! youre totally welcome to write a fic in the universe. if you do please send me a link, id love to see it!

[poidkea]

Thank you so much for answering my questions! :D This made me so happy and I love the whole premise about this au, with the romance and highjinks and how Kanaya is as badass as she is in canon. I do wonder about the trolls though (sorry for asking so much but do you remember any details about them?) Like is Aradia searching for Shangrila with Jade and Tavros as a barista who feels like he knows way too much about everyone? Sorry for asking, but I really love this au you and your friend created.

haha good! im glad you like it. and I don’t have any details on aradia, but im 100% in favor of her being jade’s traveling buddy, at least for stretches of time. tavros, who knows. maybe hes a pirate king, thats always fun.

lets see… karkat, sollux, eridan, gamzee… are all in italy, kanaya moved to france, equius and nepeta live in italy for a while but i think are grecian, dont quote me on that, feferi we never talked about so im saying right now on the record that she’s from south africa and moved to europe to study or do research or something fun for college. lets say france because then she can be friends with kanaya and rose.

i do know that terezi is somewhere in america, ive always imagined east coast, she’s a cop or something, and vriska is some sort of wayward law-breaker and they have an eternal game of sexy cops-and-robbers that they play.

dd: terezi is idk cop or lawyer or just something completly unlaw related and she just likes justice, but I would like them all to be from everywhere and theya re just friends dispite timezones                Stephanie: terezi got out of college and immediately made it into some specialized school and started on her career immediately                Stephanie: she’s the most successful of everyone so far                dd:  but shes like, hooking up with this really wild criminal and they shag in doorways and she always has scrateches on her back                dd: i wonder who that could be                   Stephanie:  is it vriska                dd: its vriska                Stephanie:YES                dd: yes                dd:  they have a wild romance w/ car chases                dd:  and lots of boning                dd: but they also know eachother from college                dd:  they had sex ontop of sollux                dd: he never shuts up about it                dd: college sheninigans                dd: OH my god                dd: they had sex on top of sollux                dd: idk why i thought, idk i just really like the mental image of them like “lets do a threesome” and they never even touch sollux                dd:  he just kinda                dd:  lays there                dd: while they go at it                Stephanie: im laughing about it                dd: in the end he just leaves and they dont even notice                

[poidkea]

@seagrot

i remember this au i totally forgot you were behind it omg

it was me and my friend dD, it was maybe our best au... i cant believe i found all this stuff about it today.

dd: awww darn coul u imagine kanaya proffersorin in like a soft sweater an maybe some readin glasses and sensible heels...      

dd: and she turns her back and her neck is showing just perfect and roses heart just goes "thump"                

Stephanie: aw yeah awww                

Stephanie: she reaches up to write on the blackboard and her shirt pops up to show the small of her back                

Stephanie: its cute she has a lil tattoo         

dd: Rose completely looses the rest of the class  

dd: "Lalonde... please stay after the lesson.."  

dd: she would have to be facing the board tho                

dd: cuz her face woul b so red            

Stephanie: omfg... she planned to do it for like, a week                

Stephanie: and the first time she tried she chickened out

dd: just.. "im gonan do this.. im going to make this happen"                

dd: paniced and smacked her forhead into the board                

Stephanie: it comes away with chalk on it      

Stephanie: she has GOT to get a goddamn whiteboard. its 2014                

Stephanie: and she hates chalk dust                

Stephanie: she cant wear black                

Stephanie: but she looks so GOOD in black              

dd: they both look so good in black

[poidkea]

Important question, why does Kanaya fly to Italy to punch Dave in the face

he hurt karkats feelings so she got on a plane

[poidkea]

punch au

karkat and equius the sexy traveling boyfriends,

a collection of exerpts from an old conversation i found with dd,

to answer the interest of that anon

Stephanie: later karkat elopes with equius and everyones like ‘i did not see that coming’

dd: omoghs

dd: he just finds this mega stud

dd: and just

dd: leaves

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dd: she puts up a billion photos of them cause eq takes kar all over the world and like fuck everybpdy

Stephanie: just pictures of equius flexing and holding karkat in various countries and at various tourist attractions

dd: “here, take a picture of me holding my boyfriend up in front of the statue of liberty” and the other tourist is like “ok” cause hes huge

Stephanie: they go to the leaning tower of pisa and equius holds karkat up so it looks like karkat is batting down the tower, instead of holding it up

Stephanie: this au ends with the credits rolling and a montage of these photos

dd: and pictures of all karkats exes looking bitter and remorseful in an ugly bar

Stephanie: its just sollux, eridan, gamzee and dave. all huddled around some sad looking beers

dd: yes. its beer brand beer.

--

dd: I would like to believe that kanaya has punched all of karkats exes at least once

Stephanie: of course. this is the punching au 

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Stephanie: equius is like karkat’s attempt at a relationship that is NOT based on how in love he is

Stephanie: kanayas like sweetie go get laid

Stephanie: so karkat goes and finds the hottest guy he can find, and that guy is a jerk and equius beats that guy up

Stephanie: and karkat is like yeah ok do YOU want to get a drink then???

dd: im thinking like, hes trying to do casual

dd: and equius is falling in love

dd: and karkat is too, but he just realizes he is and has this sinking “oh no.. not another one”

dd: and hes the one who breaks up cause he can’t take it anymore cause it was “just casual and now i fucked it up again by falling in love”

dd: and equius has to do the whole thing

dd: the whole

dd: hunting him down

dd: doing the romantic thing

dd: its a great romantic quest

dd: and its in fucking paris

dd: and karkat is walking around in france and hes broken hearted but “at least its my own fault this time”

Stephanie: then equius blocks out the sun and sweats a little bit at him

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