Personal drama venting. I had to log in to the desktop version for it because readmore for the mercy of your dash.
I quit my last job at the end of July. It gave them almost a full month's notice. I had the feeling then, and renewed today, that they had the impression I'd be back. Like, quickly. This job was in construction and took me an hour to drive there in the mornings and an hour or more to get home in the evenings. Counting the fact that I consider my work day started when I wake up and start getting ready to go (because I can't just wake up and fuck around doing what I want), my days were 12hrs or more and left me with four or less hours to myself per day.
Bob, the head admin that essentially runs the show and coordinates most of the BS, was quite fond of me and said he'd definitely miss me. Today I got my first call from him and it left me feeling sick and sad. Once we got past the initial pleasantries, he reminded me that they would be happy to have me back at any time, even in a part time capacity, because 'as I know' they're having trouble hiring people and 'those punch skills are hard to come by' and I said I appreciated that before we moved on to the 'how's life' section.
And there are several things I find problematic enough to ick me out on the conversation. Nothing weird, necessarily, but definitely things that made me feel like a strawman situation was being touched on.
1 - I carved a position for myself as a 'professional punchlist' person. Punch is widely regarded with mocking and disdain among construction, that I've experienced. Like it's a stain on your pride if you're assigned punch. Most men (and I'm going to specifically call out men because I was the only woman) went through punch like a punishment to be finished fast and easy so they can get back to the "real construction" work and wrap up the job. Punch is the patch, paint, detail installs (mirrors, handles, etc), and repair work for fuckups at the end of the job. Those fuckup repairs got bigger as I continued on and eventually became full drywall patch, tile replacement, baseboard removal and install because waiting for contractors to come back and fix their shit was increasingly impractical. Most of what you need for Punch, though, is to give a shit. To want it to look nice and be solid and not just toothpaste patches. To have patience to carry it through. To not be so prideful that work not involving 'durr hurr power saws and nailguns' gets the same level of effort. They lauded my efforts, especially near my end date, but none of them ever bothered to learn such a supposedly valuable skill-set themselves.
2 - Offering me a job in a personal checkup call? What the fuuuuuuuuck? It really makes me feel like either the job itself or the owners had a hand up Bob's back during the call. Ew. It also really cheapens the idea that he actually gives a shit about me as a person. I'm deeply tempted to text a former employee (good guy, really was run ragged) and see if he's been contacted but god I hope not. He picked up a friend's business so I hope he's busy and well.
3 - Their inability to hire people is a they problem. Their method is slow and can sometimes shake out a decent hire but for the most part construction is high in turnover so if they need bodies they're gonna have to lower their standards a bit.
4 - The job is a million miles away for me, which is the reason I ultimately gave for leaving. An hour to get there in the mornings and an hour plus to get back home in the evenings. And the company talked relentlessly about expanding further South so why the hell would I want to go back to a job that's moving further out and regularly leaves me with MAYBE 3-4 hours to myself at the end of the day? And "to myself'' has to contain cooking and eating dinner, showering, cleaning, any shopping I might need, and possibly some downtime that was mostly staring vacantly at screens and trying to refill reservoirs.
5 - I hate this the most. He asked what I was doing and I mentioned I was just starting a new semester (ie: clearly in school) but I couldn't help but feel like this was an info hunt. Testing the waters to see my financial and work situations. Seeing if he could pull on any strings to draw me back in with guilt. I hate to feel that way about someone who said he wanted to keep in touch but the whole convo really started to feel like a desperate pitch that screams to the environment the company was letting flourish. He also followed our convo with a text about 'hey i forgot to ask what you were going to school for' which just...al;sdfkjsdfafjl idk why I feel betrayed.
The whole thing left me feeling gross and I liked Bob, I'm very upset to feel this way over a convo with him. I'm annoyed at him for throwing in a reminder about the work I could potentially return to (but won't). I'm going to go write some terrible, indulgent nonsense fic, watch some KMK, and try to shake it off. Eugh.
