okay going on a kink rant.
the reason i am into the things that i am into and respect things others are into that i am not is because at the end of the day, we are all playing pretend. i don't care if you've never been sexually assaulted and want to have a cnc scene and get off to those fantasies. you don't have to be a csa victim to be into ageplay. you aren't a bad person if you think it's hot for your partner to act like your son or daughter in these dynamics, because at the end of the day, it is not real. it will never be real. having a fantasy about being knotted, using a knotted dildo, hell, even using a horse dildo doesn't matter because it's not real.
so what are my caveats? when your kink involves the material reality of these things, that's where lines are drawn. using a dildo cast from an actual animal. getting off to and engaging with CSAM. engaging in fantasies where it is made extremely clear that people are wanting to actually sexually assault people, children, and animals. even though fantasy is fantasy at the end of the day, it is important to examine where that fantasy comes from. even the most harmless fantasies like being praised!! knowing why you enjoy something makes the act more enjoyable, and helps you examine society through a wider lens.
erotica functions as an extent of society, the same way that all fiction does. i will not ever kink shame anyone for anything that involves consenting adults, but it is so important to examine where your preferences come from. for the longest time, i claimed i didn't enjoy rap music. that claim came from a place of anti-blackness and racism. i have a petplay kink. i love dressing up as a dog with ears, a tail, a hood. i love barking and panting during sex. i love being on my hands and knees, i love knotted dicks, i think furry porn is hot. but at the end of the day, no matter how similar anything is, the sexiest part of the whole thing is that i am engaging with consenting adult human beings. that fetish of mines comes from an enjoyment of being treated as less than, being absolved of responsibilities and taken care of, and the enjoyment of the humiliation of being made to act like something im not. none of it comes out of a desire to actually have sex with dogs.
i have more thoughts that i am not able to articulate as well and i invite any of my mutuals who disagree with anything i have written here to DM me because i love love love talking about the ethics of things. at the end of the day, we live in a patriarchal, misogynistic, racist, transphobic, homophobic, fatphobic, pedophilic society. those factors can and will impact what you are into sexually. it doesn't make anyone a bad person. i just think we need to be cognizant of the influence of the world at large on our fantasies.