#purplelly

[starryeyedboxes]

*heart symbol*(sorry mobile) im also markiboss btw

Pfftt, no need to apologize, silly.

Romantic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extremeSexual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extremeAesthetic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme Sensual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme

Inbox me a ‘ღ’ and I’ll rate you!

[fakingtheahcrewrp]

Hey I'm sorry, but could you drop the reservation on Kdin? I know it's like, two seconds after I sent the first ask. ;;-;;

No worries, my dear. Kdin is now open again.

[fakingtheahcrewrp]

Hi, could you reserve Kdin please?

Kdin is now on reserve for the next 72 hours. Please send in your application as soon as possible or tell us if you’d like to drop the reservation!

[ragehappysecretsanta]

Author: http://sansrivaille.tumblr.com

Recipient: http://purplelly.tumblr.com

  Summary: Joel the banker had to commute on the bus for three weeks because of his broken down car.  He thought it would be tedious until he saw a person walking around with a purple jacket.

  (AU, Joelay)

Warnings: N/A

Words: 3539

---

Day One.

Three weeks, it was all Joel needed to put up with having to ride public transport everyday.  If it wasn’t for his car giving up on him (or rather, his lack of care for it, as he would adamantly deny to himself), he wouldn’t have to be standing in the cold fall air at 5:30 in the morning.  His only solace was that maybe, just maybe, it could give him a new lease in life as he has felt that he was pretty much cooped up in his own world for a while.

While rocking his toes and heels back and forth to warm himself up, Joel went through his day in his mind.  First, he will get on the bus when it arrives at quarter to six.  He mutters his silent thanks because his home was near the terminal where he could ride the bus and actually have a good seat.  Then, he will travel almost half an hour to the bank, where he works.  It was the fourth bus stop.  He mutters thanks again as the bus stop was directly in front of the bank.  Basically, he thought, this was the only thing that changed.  He would still be in his cubicle, making calls and staring at numbers all day.  When the working day ends, he will just retrace the steps he had as he went to work. Easy-peasy.

Just as he finished mapping out his day in his mind, the distinct horn of the bus resounded.

Here it goes, he thought as he brushed his coat and got ready to board the bus.

Day Two.

Joel was overwhelmed as he recounted the first instance of his riding a bus.  He never thought that commuting could be as fun as it is taxing.  The last time he rode a bus was when he was in high school, but that might have been a few decades past.  On his first bus ride after a long while, he encountered an elderly  seatmate who seemed to lack sleep and snored all the way until up to Joel’s stop, and he had to squeeze himself out to the aisle.   On the way home, he encountered a guy with colds who let out a gigantic sneeze before holding the railing as he went down.  Joel thought that he was going to lose his mind a little bit from being a bit too scared to touch the surfaces of the bus.  However, he was enjoying.  He saw that there were middle-aged white collars like him who rode.  He also saw a lot of students getting on, as there was a university a few blocks away from the bank.

Today would not be different than the others, he hopefully thought as he sat beside a pleasant young redhead who was busy ogling at pictures of cats on her phone.

Day Five.

The work week was almost over, and Joel was raring to be home to catch up on his favorite animated show on a video site.  He walked in strides to the bus stop as he swung his briefcase gently.  For some reason, he felt that this day was different from the rest.  Or was it because he was merely excited to be home after a work week of being on the road with so many people?

Either way, he boarded the bus with much anticipation of not being able to sit uncomfortably for 30 minutes cramped in a seat with not much leg room.  He missed his car dearly, as he come to realize, and thought the maybe the enjoyment of seeing new people wears off as riding the bus has become a routine.  Finally, he found an aisle seat and proceeded to sit down.

As the bus finally moved, he turned to the window and to his seatmate for the trip.  The young man must be in his early 20s.  He wearing a purple jacket  with the hood pulled over his head.  Even so, it was still evident that he had headphones on as the young man bopped his head to the music.  He pushed his glasses on his face every once in a while, and fiddled on the backpack that was on his lap.

Joel then shifted himself to the right, where the armrest was, and placed his elbow on it.  He clutched his briefcase with his left hand and cradled his chin with the right.  He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to a nap.  He was not sure how long it lasted, but he was woken up by a soft “excuse me” and a gentle nudge on his knee.  Purple Jacket  wanted to get out, and he obliged.  He watched as the other walked down the aisle and down the bus, and then proceeded to nap again.  Such was the curse of being in the aisle seat and not knowing that the person by window was going to go down before you did.

Oh well, he sighed inwardly.  At least he was going home for the weekend.

Day Seven.

Monday rolled around as it always had.  People at the terminal were always rushing to get in and to get good seats.  Unfortunately for him, he barely made it to the terminal and was at the bottom of the line to get in.  He was able to get a seat at the second to the backmost row of the bus.  This was better than nothing, he thought, even if he was directly behind two cheeky British exchange students talking loudly about setting up explosions and filming them at 2500 frames per second.

As the bus rolled around the second stop, he noticed a familiar persona standing in line to hop in.  It was Purple Jacket from last week.

Joel wasn’t sure why he remembered.

Maybe it was the striking color of his jacket, or maybe it was how he walked (he sure walks around with a slight slouch and his head bent down most of the time) but he remembered him.  Joel followed him with a gaze as he went on the bus and took a recently vacated seat near the middle.  He did not have his hood up this time, but he had those obnoxiously neon green headphones with a star detail on each ear.

Whoever he was, Joel mused, he wanted to be noticed.

Day Eight.

It was a rather tiring day at work, and Joel wanted nothing but to come home soon.  The world, however, was not in his favor.  He stepped outside the bank only to be met by torrentuous rain.  Ready as he always have been, he got his folding umbrella out his briefcase and opened it.  When the rain lost strength, he rushed to the bus stop’s waiting shed, the water in his feet sloshing as he went.

There go my newly-shined shoes, he despaired.

He proceeded to close the umbrella and wring it dry the moment he arrived under the shed.  Presently, a man with a beard that could pass as a muffler was talking loudly on his cellphone, telling his wife that the bus will be delayed 10 minutes, that he’ll be the one to feed the dogs, and that, “I love you Kate”.  Joel tried to ignore the man as he went on talking to his Kate about how he will be safe on the way home.

He understood that the rain was strong enough to compete with his voice but he did not have to be so loud.

And then, he wondered why that thought was tinged with just a bit of bitterness.

Just as he was about to shift his thoughts, he saw a dot of purple from the corner of his eye.

He sharply turned to his right and saw Purple Jacket walking on the other side of the road, hood up and hands dug deep in his pockets.  Apparently, he had nothing else to shield himself from the rain until he reached the shed on the other side.  He was pretty sure it was Purple Jacket with the way he walked.  It was confirmed when he took off his hood to remove his glasses and wipe them on a dry spot in his undershirt.  Joel watched intently as Purple Jacket went on with his task.   He had completely forgotten what he was musing about then. He was now wondering what Purple was doing in this side of town.  He continued to watch as Purple looked around him and across the road.  Joel almost believed that he was looking at him directly.

Why would he think about it, though?

A few minutes later, a red car came up to Purple Jacket.  It may have been a friend from the way Purple Jacket reacted with glee as he peered into the car window for a while before hopping in spiritedly.

Lucky Purple guy, Joel thought as watched the red car drive into the rain.

He missed his car even more.

Day Eleven.

Being on the bus on a weekend felt liberating to Joel.  There were not much haggard people rushing to and from work.  A colleague of his suggested that they watch a movie that recently came out about a team of four guys with lasers who were tasked to save the world in a comedic way, or something like that.  He was not the type to watch those kinds of movies but a friend of his that worked for that movie told him to watch, and so he obliged.  He had only ever liked watching either extreme action movies or rom-coms.

He decided to sit two rows behind the driver for a better view of everything.  He watched as the trees lining the road changed into light posts and the suburban bungalows to tall glass buildings.  That was what he liked about this city, full of contrasts coexisting harmoniously.  Normally, he would go down at this point in time but he instead just sat back and stared at the window.

The bus has just moved a few meters when he felt a person sit on his row across the aisle.

It was Purple Jacket... But he wasn't wearing that today, for a change.  He was wearing a black shirt with a red rose printed in the middle.

Joel was surprised.  Why does this man turn up so often lately?  Could it be that he had been here all along, and that him noticing this person just made him realize his presence? And why is he so worked up when he sees this guy?

Nonetheless, he stared at Purple as the latter tapped away at his handheld game console, eyebrows knitted with concentration, arms gripping tightly the backpack he had.  From time to time, Purple would hum, grunt, or mutter an occasional expletive as he went on with his game.  Some time later, a buzz was heard, and Purple was quick to pause his game and fish his mobile phone out of his pocket.  Joel seemed more interested now as he gets to hear how Purple sounded like.

"Hello?  Michael, hey...  What?  ...Prof. Ramsey, you kidding me?  ...Shit, man, serious?  So, that means the only class we have today is cancelled?"  He paused for a while here, while Joel could almost hear what Michael was shouting in the background. Purple continued with, "God damnit, I could just... Oh, you wanna?  Okay, that'll make my trip worthwhile, pal.  Thanks.  See ya!"  Purple dropped the call and brushed the ear that had he answered the call with.

With a voice as loud?  Joel chuckled to himself, he'd turn deaf sooner or later.

The bus reached the university stop and Purple disembarked.

It was fun while it lasted, Joel said to himself as he turned back to the window.  He smiled at how happy Purple sounded and how he could listen to that voice every time.

Day Thirteen.

Joel was now on his second Monday without a car, and he was as ambivalent as before.  The rushing has come back compared to the tranquil Saturday ride he had.  He had a good jog as well that day, and the movie wasn't so bad after all.  He felt like the week was going to be better.

He closed his eyes and contentedly smiled as he leaned on the backrest.  Moments later, he felt a weight heavily plopping down on the seat beside him.  He was about to ignore it when a familiar voice let out an exasperated, "Ugh."

Joel was taken aback when he opened his eyes.  It was Purple Jacket with a black jacket today, looking like he lacked sleep from the night before.  Judging from all the handouts he was holding, it might just be the case.

Act cool, Joel told himself.  What's to be so tense about anyway?

Ten minutes into the ride, while looking out the window as per usual, Joel felt another weight drop softly against his shoulder.

He was taken aback again for it was Purple's head nesting on his shoulder.

Normally, he would quickly shrug off the offending head and shift in such a way the other could not do it again.  However, he did not do it at this time.  It was apparent that Joel would rather watch sleeping Purple rather than be his usual rude-ish self.  He felt quite warm as well, too warm, even.  It was a rather comforting warmth.

Whatever happened?

Joel sat as stiff as a board so as to not disturb the younger man, even fixing the handouts on the other's lap when they were about to fall.  He went as far as snooping into the handouts to look for any more clues on who this mysterious Purple is.  True enough, he learned that he was studying Radio-Television-Film in the state university and that his name started with an "R".  After learning what he could, Joel immediately straightened up again and sighed softly.

Surely he wasn't a stalker!

"Hot, sweet, bitter..."

Joel raised an eyebrow as Purple muttered in his sleep.  What could that be that's hot, sweet and bitter?  He needed not wait long for the answer.

"Coffee..."  The banker smirked at the student's mumbling,

"Yeah, I guess I need that, too."  He found himself replying.

The bus stopped and the students started going down.  He realized that they were on the university stop.  Part of him wanted to wake Purple up and get him going on his way, yet another part wanted him to stay for as long as he could.  He was not selfish,  Joel thought, and if fate is kind enough, he'd still see Purple around.  It was time to be kind.

"Kid, it's your stop.  You better get going." Joel said as he shook his shoulder a bit to wake the other up.  Startled and a bit irritated, Purple opened his eyes and looked left and right to see the familiar surroundings of his bus stop.

"Crap!"  It took him a few heartbeats before he clutched his handouts, stood up abruptly, and ran out just in the nick of time before the driver closed the door.

Joel sighed again.  That time, it was equal parts relieved that Purple did not ruin his day by missing a stop and upset that he did not even get a word of thanks.

Day Fourteen.

He need not lie to himself anymore.  Joel wanted to see Purple more than ever that day.  He wonders what happened after he woke him up and he ran out.  Moreover, he wondered if he would notice him on the bus today and actually thank him.  He hoped for many things.

By the time the bus drove off, there was no sign of Purple Jacket.

Day Fifteen.

No Purple Jacket.

Day Sixteen.

Not even a sign of the black shirt with the red rose.

Day Seventeen, none.

Day Eighteen, nope.

Day Nineteen, nada.

Day Twenty.

Joel was losing hope.  Did he scare him away?  Was that creepy?  Was he reported to the police?  There were a ton of questions in his head on top of what he had been thinking in the past few days without Purple Jacket.  His officemates have already noticed an abrupt change in his behavior lately.  If he wasn't working, he'd blankly stare off into space or tap his pen on the memo pad.  He did not eat as fast as he used to.  Most importantly, he jumps whenever he sees somebody wearing purple.

Not that he has grown attached to that person, but...

He sighed so loudly that his blonde seatmate, who was an intern in the bank whom he saw in the bus stop earlier, looked at him warily and spoke kindly, "There, there, sir.  I'm gonna be a banker someday.  Don't look so sad about it, I might lose interest."

Joel shook his head.  The pun was bad, but trying to lose his interest in Purple Jacket was worse.

Day Twenty-one.

The auto repair shop called him yesterday and told him he could come get his car within the week.  That made him happy, of course.  He was almost done with the grueling commutes for the past three weeks.  Yet, he is also sad that he never saw Purple Jacket again.  He had grown to rather like the guy for whatever reason, primarily because he was like a breath of fresh air to him.  He stood out from anybody else in his mundane world and he'd like if he stayed.  Joel would also like to at least know what happened after that fateful day when he found Purple sleeping on his shoulder.

It was too much to ask.  Maybe it was just as fleeting as his stint with commuting.

"Excuse me," a voice called from beside him, and it was rather unmistakable.

Joel turned his head to the direction of the voice.  True enough, it was none other than Purple Jacket himself, wearing the very thing he had known him for.  "May I?"  He motioned to the seat where Joel put his briefcase.

"Of course, sorry."  He hurriedly took the briefcase from the seat and put it in his lap.  He might have been saving that seat, just in case...

"I remember you."  Purple said quietly as he sat and faced Joel.  He never noticed how brown his eyes were until now.

"I'd just like to say thank you for waking me up last week. Umm... I went down with flu after that and had been out for a while."  He explained.

So, that was what happened.

Joel just nodded and smiled.  It was rather strange that he did not ask how he knew that it was his stop, but it didn't matter.  He knew that was out of question and he was relieved.  They fell silent for a while, until Purple spoke out again.

"I've seen you a couple times before that, actually."

"Really?"  Joel hoped that his voice did not sound as excited as he truly was.

"Yup, and it's like you're a pretty chill guy, especially after I saw you talking to someone on your phone about being able to watch Team Laser... You know? That movie?"

"Yeah, I did watch that and it was pretty good!"

"Thanks.  I did my on-the-job training with that."

Score.  He wasn't alone with his whole following thing.

Joel looked on as Purple tore a corner of his handout and pulled out a pen from the depth of his jacket pocket.  He spoke sheepishly as he scribbled something on the note.

"Let me tell you what, your opinion is valuable to us and I'd like to know how you found Team Laser."  He handed the paper to Joel.  "Hit me up when you're free."

This was the opportunity he had been waiting for the entire time.  Without hesitation, Joel replied.

"How about bevs?"

"Bevs?"

Joel looked a bit embarrassed but answered, "Sorry, I meant drinks.  Beer?  Whiskey?  You know..."

"Yup, gotcha."  Purple smiled when Joel did.  "But I don't do your bevs.  Coffee would be okay, though."

Joel nodded and replied, "Sure thing."  Right about then, something clicked and he decided to drop a little bomb in their conversation.

"You did call out for coffee when you were sleeping..."

The other man turned to a dark shade of red.  The stopping bus might have been a saving grace for him, but he did turn back to normal quite quickly after that, laughing at his mishap.  Joel did want to hear that laugh again next time.

"I'm hopping off now.  I don't wanna miss my stop awake.  See ya."   With that, he stood up and stepped into the aisle.  Before he walked out, Purple held out his hand quickly, which Joel took for a shake just as fast.  As a parting shot, he grinned and sprinted out to the door.  Joel could not help and smile at how lucky he was.  There was some good in commuting, after all.

He then realized that he was not even able to ask for his name.

Thankfully, as he looked at the paper, there was a number scribbled in a curve, so as to fit the small space, and the name that Joel had so long wondered about.

He knows Purple personally now, and his name was Ray.

[ragehappysecretsanta]

Don't Leave Me Behind

Author: http://purplelly.tumblr.com/

Recipient: http://britanniafork.tumblr.com/

Summary: Ray is a survivor in the zombie apocalypse. Joel is a man he runs into, and has a few secrets.

Warnings: Blood, swearing, icky zombie stuff.

Word Count: 13107

There’s a time and a place that a person will start to love another person. Ray used to think that that ‘time and place’ was long gone; when the undead started rising so long ago and society broke apart, fear and anger causing people to drift away from each other. Not a place to start an intimate relationship. At least, Ray used to think that.

Ray didn’t think he’d trust anyone other than Michael. He’d known Michael before the world ended, and they have stuck together since then; however long ago that was.

Their plan was like any other nerd on the planet who had a vague knowledge of how zombies worked; get all your shit packed together, drive to a ‘safe-zone’ that the radio recommended, and kick any zombie that comes your way. Obviously that didn’t work.

Michael’s car ran out of gas before they could make it to one of the ‘safe-zones’; turns out they probably should’ve filled the tank before leaving town. So they were stuck on the side of a road in the country with bags of food and water and laptops and phones and chargers with no transportation.

They had to make a hard decision (at least, it was hard to them) to leave their laptops behind (not the phones; they have to keep up with the news) and packed up the bags and headed off on foot.

It was supposed to be easy in their minds. They didn’t plan that when the sun went down and the air chilled, that they’d have to face the undead in person instead of behind a screen.

They both nearly died that night. If they hadn’t run into another group of survivors, they wouldn’t be alive right now. While running through the woods, dropping bags of food and tripping over tree roots, they ran into Geoff, Jack, and Ryan.

Geoff seemed to be the leader of the group with military experience. Jack was second in charge and knows a bit about medical emergencies. Ryan was more of the tech guy; he fixed up a few radios for them all to use. Michael and Ray decided to stay with them.

Later, they ran into a British boy named Gavin. Apparently he had taken a plane to the US to work on some camera jobs, but when the apocalypse hit and all the airports shut down, he couldn’t return home, therefore he was stuck in America. Despite at his somewhat annoying first impression, Ray and the rest of the group grew fond of Gavin and each other over time. They were a real team, and, for a time, it actually seemed like they would all make it.

Then the hard part began. Food began to dwindle. Zombie attacks became more frequent. The government shut down all contact to the world- hid underground somewhere. There was still hope. But it lessened every day. People they met up with either left or killed in some accident.

Their current camp was a summer vacation cabin that they discovered while driving around a dirt road. Some of the windows were broken, which they fixed by covering it up with a couple boards. The cabin had two floors; the top had a bedroom and a bathroom, while the first floor had a main room, a kitchen, and another bedroom. The mattresses were in good condition, and each even had a blanket. The main room had a couch and a coffee table, and the kitchen had everything besides food or water.

They had brought supplies with them to the house, but that supply is dwindling. Ray took it upon himself to go loot nearby buildings and camps, if they happened upon any.

He was out to go loot an abandoned camp one day when it happened. The air was warm, despite Ray guessing it should be around October. This whole apocalypse-thing had happened during the end of winter earlier in the year. He was not looking forwards to winter this year, however.

Ray had found the camp, just about an hour walk from the cabin. He knew the woods in a mile radius around the cabin like the back of his hand.

The camp had been a series of tents, lawn chairs, tables, and a fire pit in the center. Last time Ray had checked, it looked pretty much abandoned. He walked around a bit, and even took a few cans back to the cabin, but he wanted to be thorough this time.

His plans were foiled when he heard voices shouting from the camp. He paused, gripping the pistol and checking the ammo. As careful as he could get, he crept up to the camp.

Ray stopped behind some bushes and peered through the branches. The camp, once thought to be abandoned, now had life. There were a group of people gathered in a circle, and appeared to yelling at someone.

“You think you can come in here and steal from us?” One person said. Ray gulped. He had taken some things from this camp as well. Was this person innocent?

There wasn’t a response. “What’s that? Cat got your tongue? No worries, you don’t need to plead. You’re not leaving.”

Ray grimaced at the dark tone in the man’s voice. He had obviously stumbled along some dangerous people. Careful where he stepped, he crept away from the camp.

Well, looks like he’s not going to get anything today. Ray made sure he was a good ways away from the camp before standing up, and hurried along back to the cabin.

It wasn’t too long after that that he heard gunshots. He froze, noticing how the gunshots came from the camp he just left. He had a bad feeling about that, but kept walking, gripping the pistol a little bit tighter.

It was just a few minutes later when he heard footsteps behind him. Ray hid behind a tree, then as a last-second though, lifted up onto the branches and climbed up. He leaned against the tree, his feet holding him up on two separate branches.

He stayed as still as he could, breathing as silently as possible as he listened to the approaching footsteps. The footsteps came closer, right below him. Ray held his breath, and waited for the person to pass.

Then they stopped running. Ray heard the leaves on the branches next to him shake as the person below climbed the exact tree Ray was hiding in.

The person didn’t notice Ray yet. Taking this to his advantage, Ray held up the gun and pointed at the figure. The person seemed to be a man; he had short dark hair and stubble, and wore a grey sweatshirt and jeans. He had a dark bruise on cheek. Ray couldn’t help but notice the man was very attractive. Then the man’s eyes met Ray’s, and he took in a sharp breath.

For a moment, neither of them moved. Ray kept the gun steady, and hoped the man wouldn’t pull a weapon of some kind on his as well. He didn’t, and stayed very still while his eyes moved between Ray and the ground, as if debating whether it was safer in the tree or on the ground with his pursuers.

“Hey,” The man whispered. “Don’t shoot. Please don’t shoot.” Ray didn’t respond, keeping the gun aimed at the man.

Then there were more footsteps, more than one set. People ran closer to the tree, and Ray heard the man let out a breath of relief as they ran past.

“You’re not from their group are you?” The man asked almost fearfully.

Ray shook his head. “Why are they after you?”

The man hesitated. “I may have tried to steal some food from them. But c’mon! They have, like, a bunch, and I was starving!”

Ray didn’t argue with that. He could easily see the sweatshirt hanging loosely on the other man, and his cheeks were hollow.

“Well, that makes two of us,” Ray gave a weak chuckle. “I actually took a few cans from them a few days ago. I thought the whole place was abandoned.”

“And it obviously wasn’t,” The man replied, almost bitterly. “I was around earlier. Tried to steal a can or two. They caught me.”

“Sorry, man,” Ray said. He realized he was still aiming the gun at the other, and lowered it. “I’m Ray, by the way.”

The man seemed taken aback, and Ray could almost register fear in his expression before it faded into unease instead. “…Joel.”

“So, Joel,” Ray leaned back in the tree. Joel was obviously not a threat. “Where are you going? Do you have a group?”

Joel’s eyes narrowed suddenly, and Ray saw the suspicion in them. “Why?”

Ray held up his hands in surrender. “Just asking, man. I’m not looking for trouble.”

Joel softened, but he still stared at him for a moment before answering. “I’m alone. I don’t have a group.”

“You’re alone?” Ray asked. It isn’t uncommon to run into someone who’s solo; Ray just wasn’t expecting Joel, who looked in so bad a shape, to be alone.

“Yeah,” Joel replied slowly. There was something in his tone that told Ray to quit asking, don’t push further. So Ray changed the subject, but didn’t expect the next words to come out of his mouth.

“I have a group. We live in a cabin, a little ways away from here,” Ray said, a little too quickly. “If you need a place to stay for a bit, you could come stay with us.”

Ray didn’t know why he suggested that; he should at least consult with Geoff before making any decisions. And any reactions he was expecting - confused, amused, suspicion – he wasn’t expecting fear.

Ray was about to say he didn’t have to, when Joel answered before he could speak.

“Okay,” Joel replied. “But only for a little bit.”

Ray smiled at him, but Joel didn’t smile back. Ray frowned, and then leaned over the branches to search the ground.

“I think they’re gone,” Ray said. “We should get down and head back. Quietly. They could still be searching.”

Joel hummed in reply, and cautiously, both of them jumped down from the tree and crept through the brush.

“How far away is your cabin?” Joel asked.

Ray mentally did the math in his head. “Maybe half an hour away? About that, anyway.”

Joel huffed, and Ray chuckled. He didn’t catch the glare Joel sent his way.

***

They were greeted by Michael at the cabin.

The curly haired man had been assigned to look-out for the day, and aimed their only rifle at where they were pushing through the brush. Ray waved at him that it was okay, but he could see Michael hesitate at the second figure.

Ray led Joel to the front door of the cabin. They keep the door locked at all times, in case someone tries to walk in while they’re distracted.

“Someone will come to unlock the door,” Ray explained. “Just stay behind me until I introduce you, okay?” Joel nodded.

Then the door unlocked and opened, and Michael stood there with an eyebrow raised, and everyone else standing behind him.

“Hey, Ray,” Michael greeted. “Who’s that?” He nodded to Joel.

“Uh, this is Joel,” Ray introduced. “Found him out there. He doesn’t have a group to come back to, and could probably use some TLC. Can he stay here for a while?”

Geoff pushed up the front, gave Ray a look, then looked Joel up and down. He opened the door a bit wider, and ushered the two inside.

He locked the door behind them, and gestured for Joel to sit on the couch.

“Go ahead and sit, Joel. Jack, can you get him something to eat?” Geoff suggested. Jack nodded and headed off to the kitchen.

Geoff put a hand on Ray’s shoulder and led him upstairs. “We need to talk.”

Ray bit his lip and followed their group leader up the stairs. He wasn’t afraid of Geoff; Geoff was one of the most laid-back, friendliest person he’d ever met. But hell, the man can be intimidating when he wanted to.

Geoff had them walk into one of the rooms, and shut the door after them.

“How did you find him?” Geoff asked.

“We ran into each other in the woods,” Ray explained.

“Why did you bring him back here?” Geoff crossed his tattoo-laden arms.

“Look at him! He’s half-starved!” Ray gestured to the door.

“And he could be set up that way,” Geoff said. “For all we know, he’s with bandits that want to raid our camp. Once he’s out of here, he’ll go report to where we are, and we’ll be dead in the next week!”

“I’m sure that won’t happen,” Ray insisted.

“You’re sure,” Geoff repeated. “We can’t depend on how sure you are.” He paused. “I don’t mean to be rude, but we can’t trust this guy. Not yet. We trust each other because we know each other. We don’t know Joel.”

“I know,” Ray replied, solemnly. “I felt bad for him. Michael and I nearly died before we ran into you and Jack. I remembered that and I guess I thought I could help him.”

Geoff sighed softly after that, relaxing somewhat. “Alright. Alright, alright. He can stay. Unless he plans to go. Then you can’t stop him. Otherwise, I’ll let him stay.”

Ray smiled. “Thanks, Goeff.”

Geoff rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

They came back to the main room to see Joel sitting on the end of the couch, scooping out a can of peaches with a spoon. He glanced up at Ray and Geoff, then back to the can.

Michael was on the other end of the couch, swatting Gavin next to him for staring at Joel. Jack and Ryan were in the kitchen, talking quietly.

“So, Joel,” Geoff began, sitting between him and Gavin on the couch. Joel glanced at him before moving an inch away from him, so that they didn’t touch.

“Hm?” Joel hummed between a mouthful of peaches.

“What were you doing out in the woods?” Geoff asked.

Joel stiffened at that, pausing in his eating. He seemed nervous all of a sudden. He forced out a reply a moment later, and Ray, ever the observant one, noticed how it was the truth, but it also wasn’t the main reason.

“I was hungry,” Joel replied. “I was looking for something to eat.”

Geoff didn’t look convinced either, but let the subject drop for now. Gavin and Michael had seemed to have launched into a different conversation, one including Gavin’s hypothetical questions. Jack and Ryan moved into the main room, and joined their conversation. Geoff eventually joined as well.

Ray stood nearby, watching Joel and wondering why he looked so tense all of a sudden. Joel had been so carefree and casual in the tree earlier, now he was hunched in on himself, extra careful he was not bumping Geoff’s knee next to him or making eye contact with any of the others.

Then he looked up at Ray suddenly, and they locked eyes. Joel’s expression turned from surprise to a glare, and Ray quickly turned his gaze to the others. He felt Joel’s gaze linger on him before looking away as well.

They didn’t speak again until later that night. Joel kept to himself, not making any conversation and if anyone tried to add him into conversation he brushed them off. Ray didn’t try to talk to him, but kept an eye on him. Not for the same reasons as Geoff; the leader had been keeping a hawk eye on him all day. He did the same with Ray and Michael when they first met them. He didn’t trust Joel yet, which can be understandable in a world like this.

But it just seemed strange to him. Joel was so talkative in the tree, pleading for his life at first, but settled into friendly conversation. Now he hid in the corner of the room and didn’t talk to anybody.

That night, they had to plan sleeping arrangements. Usually two would sleep in each bedroom, and the last two would stay in the main room. Whoever was on watch for the night slept in the main room.

That night, Ryan and Gavin were keeping watch. They took over the main room, Gavin plopping on the couch while Ryan picked up the rifle to take the first watch. Geoff and Jack headed upstairs to the bedroom, leaving Michael, Ray and Joel.

Ray explained their sleeping arrangements and showed Joel the bedroom downstairs. Michael followed, but didn’t say anything.

“So,” Joel began after Ray explained. “Do one of us sleep on the floor?”

“I think all of us could squeeze on the bed,” Michael shrugged. “Unless you want to sleep on the floor, but I’m not saying it’s gonna comfortable.” With that, Michael sat down on the bed, rolling to the very edge closest to the wall.

Ray glanced at Joel then back at the bed, then did the same as Michael. He moved closer to the curly haired man than would be necessary – he and Michael were close enough that it wasn’t weird - but he wanted to make sure that Joel had enough room if he decided to sleep in the bed.

A few minutes passed, and Ray assumed Joel chose to sleep somewhere else. Then he felt the bed dip behind him, and a warm body pressed against his back.

They were barely touching, and Ray was sure that Joel was about to fall off the bed. Despite that, he smiled a little, before slipping off into a light sleep.

The next morning Ray was woken by a rough shake to his shoulder. He drowsily opened his eyes to Michael next to him, still shaking his shoulder.

“Wake up, asshole,” Michael said, and poked Ray’s cheek.

Ray shoved the other in return before sitting up and blurrily looking around the room. He could see light shining through the cracks on the boards over the window. The room was a little chillier than it was yesterday, and Ray shivered. Then he realized Michael and him were the only ones in the room.

“Where’s Joel?” Ray asked.

“Fuck if I know,” Michael shrugged. “He was gone when I woke up.”

Ray hummed in response and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stood up and walked towards the door, Michael following after him.

Everyone else was awake already; Gavin, Ryan and Jack were chatting in the main room, and Ray could hear movement in the kitchen. Joel was nowhere to be seen. Michael sat in between Ryan and Gavin on the couch, while Ray wandered into the kitchen.

He found Geoff looking through the cupboards in the kitchen, seeming dissatisfied with what he found. He looked up when Ray entered and smiled.

“Morning, Ray,” Geoff greeted. He tossed the other a breakfast bar, which Ray just barely caught.

“Thanks,” Ray replied, then added, “Do you know where Joel went? He wasn’t here when we woke up.”

“I think he went out to take a piss,” Geoff replied. “Speaking of Joel, what you think of him?”

“What do you mean?” Ray asked, ripping the wrapper of the bar.

“How does he seem so far?” Geoff reworded his question. “Does he seem okay?”

Ray took a bite of the bar, and spoke around a mouthful. “Geoff, he hasn’t even been here for 24 hours.”

“I know,” Geoff picked up a trail mix from a shelf. “But it doesn’t hurt to have opinions.”

Ray looked behind him at the door of the kitchen, as if someone might be listening. “To be honest, he seems a bit shady. Not like he’s gonna turn on us or anything. But he just seems annoyed at everything.”

Geoff hummed. “Yeah. Maybe he’ll open up a bit as time goes by.” The tattooed man walked past Ray and ruffled his hair before leaving.

Ray took another bite of the breakfast bar as he followed Geoff out into the main room. He walked in just in time to see the door opening and Joel walk in, hair still messy and clothes askew from sleeping in them. He still looked abnormally skinny, but a little color had been regained in his cheeks. He caught Ray’s gaze and he stared at him for a moment. Ray was about to say something, anything he could think of, when Joel’s curious eyes changed into a scowl and he sauntered off into the kitchen.

Ray debated following him, but then Gavin asked a question towards at him, some ‘what if’ question, and he was forced to sit down and answer.

Joel eventually came back into the room, opening up another can of peaches. He sat on the floor a ways away from the group, using a pocket knife to pick at the peaches.

There wasn’t much conversation, only Gavin keeping them entertained. They got into an argument about cereal, and how that had happened was lost on Ray. He put in his own comment every now and then, but kept an eye on Joel. The man was steadily eating from the can, but was listening to their conversation. Ray would catch the way his lips quirked up when a joke was shared, or he would look up at them with an amused smirk.

Once everyone had eaten something, and their conversation ceased, Geoff had to motivate everyone to move again. They began to work on their daily jobs; checking the perimeter of their house, which was just about ten feet from the tree line around their cabin. There were little traps set in the woods that they all were aware about; some were cans tied to wire hidden under brush. They were closer to the cabin, so any person on guard would be able to hear it. They also have trenches dug – that took them forever to build – hidden under branches and leaves. Not very convincing for an alive person, but it was the perfect trap for an undead one. A few trenches have spikes in them, but the spikes took so long to craft that they didn’t place them in every hole. Ray’s job was to take Joel around the cabin and show him where the traps were(but not all of them, Geoff has said; just a few to warn him and if he happened to remember where they were, he wouldn’t know where the others were).

Ray led Joel out to the tree line, peeking through the brush before walking in deeper. He made sure to point out the string of cans under a pile of leaves to Joel. The older man looked the alarm system over, then nodded and followed Ray.

A few seconds later, Ray was stopping Joel from going any further. He dropped to his knees and pushed aside a mat of branches, which revealed a chest-deep hole. If a person had fallen in, then it would be difficult to get back out.

“Who built this stuff?” Joel asked in wonder, peering down the hole cautiously.

“Well,” Ray paused in thought. “It was Ryan who thought of these traps. I came up with the cans back there.” Ryan also came up with the spikes in some of the holes, but Ray – remembering Geoff’s instructions – didn’t tell Joel about those ones.

Joel studied him a moment longer before nodding. Ray stood up and covered the hole, then moved on to the next one.

They were a few feet away from the hole when they heard the moans. Ray stopped and ducked down out of reflex, pulling his handgun at the ready. Joel had done the same, but lacked the handgun. He let Ray go first as they crawled towards the hole.

The mat of branches had broken apart, and in the hole was one of the undead. It was an older man and didn’t seem all that special; he was wearing normal enough clothes, probably didn’t have any weapons on him. He looked up as Ray approached, stretching his arms forward as a louder gasp escaped his throat.

Ray debated using his gun. It would cause noise, and there could be more baddies around. ‘Baddies’ included undead monsters and the other group that kidnapped Joel.

Then he stopped. He never told Geoff about the other group. Geoff didn’t like to be so close to a group they didn’t know or trusted; they could attack them any minute and they’d be unprepared.  He’d been too worried about Joel to remember to tell Geoff.

The groaning of the zombie, clawing at the dirt ground near his feet brought him back to his senses. He unsheathed his pocket knife and swiftly stabbed the blade between the undead’s eyes.

He went limp after that, and Ray put the knife back in his pocket. He bent down to grip underneath the corpse’s arms, and grunted while pulling him up and out of the hole.

Ray wasn’t the strongest, and he certainly wasn’t used to pulling corpses out of holes. He was usually the one to ‘clean out’ the traps, but he always brought someone along to help – but looking over at Joel, leaning against a tree and watching him, he felt a pang of irritation. Then immediately chastised himself. Joel was new; it was going to take more than one trip for him to get used to the routine.

So Ray dragged the corpse under a bush and reset the branches on top, then began to lead Joel back to the cabin. He didn’t want to leave them in silence, though.

“Are you going to stick around with us?” Ray blurted without thinking.

Joel shot him a glance, but avoided eye contact when he answered. “I don’t know yet.” He hesitated, then added, “I’ll probably move on. I can’t live off of you guys.”

“You’re not living off of us,” Ray argued. “You’re recovering. And there’s no town for miles; the reason we came out here in the first place.”

It was true, after they had all gathered together and gotten enough shit to live off of for a long while, they found a cabin in some private summer cabin for a family that’ll never use it again. There were little camps set up around the estate, and it was Ray’s job to go loot these camps.

“Doesn’t matter,” Joel shook his head. “I’m leaving eventually.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I don’t care!” Joel snapped. “I’m leaving, and you can’t change my mind!” He was scowling now, crossing his arms and staring bitterly at the ground.

Ray tried to think of anything to say, but nothing came to mind. Joel looked like he wouldn’t talk further anyways. A pang of annoyance struck Ray, and he turned away also.

Whatever, he didn’t care what Joel did.

The following days Ray avoided Joel all together. He didn’t quite know why he was angry at the other man; maybe because Joel snapped at him. Maybe because, after Ray saved his life, he suddenly pulled away from them. Maybe because he was looking forward for Joel joining their little group.

Didn’t matter, Joel seemed to avoid him too. Actually, he avoided all of them. Joel was always huddled in the corner, not letting a conversation get passed two, maybe three exchanges.

His physical appearance improved; Joel’s cheeks were no longer hollow and he seemed to have more energy. Despite avoiding the other, Ray couldn’t help but feel glad that Joel is recovering.

During a morning where everyone lazed around in the living room and had something to eat, Geoff pulled Ray aside in the kitchen.

“Hey, Ray,” Geoff greeted. “Our supplies are doing fine so far, but I want you to go on a run soon. Those supplies won’t last forever, so we’re gonna need all we can get.”

“Right,” Ray said, then suddenly remembered, “Oh, yeah. When I first met Joel out on that run,” Geoff nodded for him to continue. “He might’ve…well, he was…uh….” He was suddenly nervous. Now that he thought about the situation, it sounded really, really bad. “Joel had been kidnapped by some other group. He somehow managed to escape, and I ran into him. The other group is still out there.”

Geoff stared at him with bewilderment, and then exploded into questions. “Are you kidding me? There’s another group out there, and you haven’t told me?”

“I forgot,” Ray replied guiltily. “And I’m sorry. But I’m telling you now.”

Geoff groaned in frustration. “I wish you told me earlier.” He paused. “I’m not sure I want you going out there anymore. Not until we deal with these guys.”

“They’re not real close,” Ray reassured. “If they happen to be around I can sneak pass them. I’ll be fine.” Geoff contemplated. He crossed his arms and thought, while Ray rocked on his feet.

Ray didn’t exactly know why he wanted to go on this run so badly. He was avoiding Joel, sure, but it wasn’t just from him snapping at Ray in the woods. Joel had been avoiding him from day one, when he came to the cabin. The tension between the two had increased as the days passed, and Ray just wanted to get out for a little while.

Geoff sighed, breaking Ray from his train of thought. “Fine, but be careful. I’d have you take someone with you, but I don’t think anyone here would be capable of being as quiet as you,” Geoff said.

Ray nodded and headed for the door. “I’ll pack my shit together and tell you when I’m headed off.”

Geoff might’ve nodded, but Ray was already out in the main room. He picked up his backpack that was leaning against the couch, and took a seat while unzipping the top. He sifted through the contents, making sure he had everything he’d need. He needs to grab an extra ammo clip and maybe a water bottle, but other than that he has everything he needs. Ray zipped the bag closed and stood, slinging it over his arms.

That’s when he noticed a pair of eyes on him. Ray’s eyes met Joel’s staring at him from the opposite end of the couch. He debated trying to start a conversation, anything to try to disperse the tension between them. But Joel beat him to it.

“Where are you going?” Joel asked.

Ray blinked, startled. “I was heading off on a run. You know, get supplies.”

“By yourself?” Joel cocked his head – which Ray found oddly adorable.

“Yeah,” Ray nodded. “What do you think I was doing when I ran into you?” His tone was only half-joking; but he was still surprised Joel was suddenly talking to him. Then that caused a spike of irritation. Why was Joel talking to him? After ignoring him for days and then suddenly taking an interest?

“Maybe someone should go with you,” Joel suggested, reminding Ray of Geoff. “That group is still out there, and they’d do the same to you as they did me-“

“Why do you care?” Ray asked without thinking.

Joel looked startled, and Ray immediately regretted saying anything. Though he didn’t take it back or say anything else. Then he noticed how Joel’s demeanor had suddenly changed.

The older man now looked nervous; his eyes avoided Ray’s and flitted across the ground; he shoved his hands into his pockets. Suddenly the tension in the room had increased tenfold.

Without saying another word, afraid to make things worse, Ray headed to the door and left, calling out to Geoff that he was leaving. He didn’t bother to wait for a reply, and headed into the woods.

The first location he wanted to check out was an old shack near a lake, where he assumed people used for ice fishing in the winter. The lake they used frequently to refill water bottles and wash clothing. The shack was farther along the edge of the lake, hidden by the trees and Ray had just found it recently. Hadn’t had time to loot it, but now was the perfect time.

Ray was about halfway to the cabin when he realized he never grabbed that extra ammo. He pulled the pistol out from his bag and checked the clip – two bullets left. He didn’t feel like running back to the cabin, so he opted to just being careful.

At the cabin, Ray peered into one of the smudged windows. He could see a furnace in one corner, a chest, and an empty shelf. One half of the cabin was out of his line of sight, which was right in front of the door. He checked his ammo again out of habit, then made his way to the wooden door – which was slack on its hinges, he noticed.

Ray pulled at the handle and it slid open with some effort. He opened it just a crack, then peered into the room.

There wasn’t anything he could see that was of harm. There was a neat hole in the floor that water splashed up from, probably used for ice fishing. The wood around it looked moldy and crumbly, and he made a mental note to avoid it.

He slid the door open so he could get inside, and did another once-over to be sure. The room was clear, so Ray let the pistol hang at his side while he looked around.

He approached the chest first. The chest was wooden with metal latches, and the wood panel on the sides appeared to be molding. Ray lifted the lid and looked over the contents.

A plastic water bottle that held a dark liquid was on its side in the corner – presumably some guy’s tobacco bottle. A candy bar wrapper lay nearby that, a line of fishing wire, and a hook. The fishing wire he could take, and maybe the hook, but the other things are useless.

After tucking the wire and the hook in his bag, Ray scanned around the rest of the room. He walked over to the furnace and opened the metal door, not expecting much. He was greeted with ash and coals.

Then he heard the sliding of the door behind him. Ray was spinning around and aiming the pistol the minute he registered the noise. But it seemed the other person was just a little bit faster.

A fist collided with the side of Ray’s face, and he let out a shout of surprise. Ray staggered backwards, pain blossoming on the side of his face and dizziness making his movements sluggish. For some reason, his immediate thought was that his glasses were probably broken.

The intruder shoved him backwards and knocked the pistol out of Ray’s hand. Leaning against the far wall, Ray’s head stopped spinning and his vision focused enough for him to examine the man before him.

He wasn’t anyone familiar. But he was taller and buffer and way more intimidating than Ray. He held a wooden bat that looked stained with things Ray would not like to think about. He wore a backpack like Ray’s, and grinned at him while holding the bat above his head. Shit, I should’ve listened to Geoff and brought someone with me-

“Get your pack off,” He ordered. Ray glared before slipping the bag off his shoulders and kicking it to the man.

“Who are you?” The man demanded more than asked.

Ray didn’t reply; he glared at the man instead, through his glasses which were now cracked in one lense.

“Alright,” The man said after a moment. “Here’s a better question: Have you seen a man run through here? Tall, about yay-high-“ The man gestured with his hand a few inches taller than him. “Has a bit of scruff, wore a grey hoodie? Also very skinny, maybe has a few bruises and cuts here and there.”

Ray stayed silent, but his demeanor faltered. The man was obviously talking about Joel; who else would be looking for him? Worry for the man began to pool in his gut, and he was suddenly very regretful for how he had spoken to Joel that morning.

The man must’ve picked up on his unease, and he grinned, gleeful and ghastly. “So you have seen him. That’s great. If you could just lead me to where he is, that would be wonderful-“

“And why the fuck would I do that?” Ray asked, with much more venom than he expected himself.

It was the man’s turn to glare. “You think that guy’s innocent? He tried to steal from us; he’ll do the same to you!”

“I know he stole,” Ray replied. “It doesn’t matter. He was starving. I know it’s not right, but it was his only option.”

“You think so?” The man was getting angry now. “You don’t know shit. He stole from us. He should get what he deserves. Now be a good little boy and show me where you hid him-“

Ray bolted at this point; diving for the pistol and barely aiming at the man before firing off a shot. He might’ve missed; the man ducked but didn’t crumple to the ground like he’d hoped so. Taking the distraction to his advantage, Ray scooped his bag off the floor and ran out of the shed.

He heard the pounding of footsteps behind him a moment later. His head still ached and the broken lenses kept making him trip over a root or stone. The man was right on his tail, he knew, and could find him if he happened to slow down.

The cabin wasn’t far. If he just made it time, then Michael can snipe the guy. Or whoever was on watch upstairs today. Ray didn’t know, or care, just wanted to get inside and tend to his throbbing head.

Eventually he came to the clearing of the cabin, stumbling over his own two feet. His arms were scratched from branches he ran into, and his knees were bruised and sore. His heart was pounding in his chest and he just wanted to get back to the cabin.

The trees eventually broke into a clearing, and the cabin was only a few feet away. Ray didn’t break his sprint, and he barely registered a yell from the top floor before he ran to the door. He remembered the door would be locked, so he knocked hard on the wood. It opened a moment later, and Ray was pulled into the cabin. He was never so happy to be back in the cabin.

Jack and Ryan were immediately in front of him. Pounding on the stairs made Ray look up and see Michael running down the steps, rifle in hand. Gavin was right behind him; probably keeping him company while on guard.

Jack was then pulling his arm to the couch, and while Ryan ran off to get a first aid kit, Jack was removing his glasses and looking over his injuries. His face still ached, and his knees were sore, and his arms stung.

“What the hell happened?” Michael asked, and Gavin looked just as concerned behind him.

“There was this guy out there,” Ray rambled, and he just noticed how unsteady his voice was. Okay, that encounter shook him a little; it wasn’t very often one of them ran into an enemy group. It was worrying when it was zombies, but other people; the living always seemed to be more dangerous than the dead.

“He just cornered me in that shack,” Ray continued. “He snuck up on me. He got a hit on my eye-ow!” Ray hissed as Jack continued to prod his bruising eye. The bearded man took his hand away, looking apologetic.

“Sorry, sorry,” He said. “Looks like you have a black eye. Other than that, I think you’re fine.” Jack looked down at Ray’s glasses. “I’m sure they’re still wearable, just a little dented.”

Ray took his glasses from Jack and looked them over. A few scratches and dirt smudged on the lenses, and a new dent on the side. The right lense had a neat crack, but it wasn’t something to worry about. He set them back where they belonged.

That was when he noticed Geoff had suddenly appeared, looking Ray over silently. He looked worried and guilty, and his eyes darted nervously over to Joel, who had also suddenly appeared. He was standing in the doorway of the downstairs bedroom, looking Ray over with concern. He didn’t seem notice Geoff’s glances.

Ryan had gotten Ray a water bottle to drink, and after a bit, he calmed down. Michael and Gavin went back upstairs to make sure the other man hadn’t followed Ray or brought friends. Jack and Geoff went to speak in the kitchen, and that left Ray alone with Joel. 

The older man seemed hesitant to go back in the bedroom. Ray wanted to say something about earlier, to try and dissipate the tension that still lingered between them. Then Joel appeared to have given up, and turned to go.

“Wait,” Ray called. Joel stopped and stared, waiting for Ray to continue. “I’m sorry. About earlier. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Joel still looked hesitant, as if he was afraid of something. Then he nodded. “Right. It’s fine.” Then he turned to enter to the bedroom.

Ray wanted to believe that did something, but it felt as if nothing happened. Joel was pulling away, for whatever reason, and Ray wanted to crack his shell and learn why. It just didn’t make sense to him, why Joel was so friendly when they first met, and then suddenly closed himself off.

He fell asleep on the couch that night, exhausted after his run in the forest and the encounter with the man. His dreams were full of fear, terror, and pain. They were forgotten the next morning, but the feelings still lingered.

***

The next morning was just like the rest. Everyone stayed indoors for the most part, not daring to go outside alone when the other group was still a danger. They stayed quiet, not talking too loud, and kept all lights off. Tried to avoid windows. Made the house look as vacant as possible.

This went on for a couple days, which surprised Ray. He would at least think they’d make it to the second day, before Gavin caused trouble or someone had to have a normal conversation. The silence made Ray itchy and nervous. It was like they were waiting for something to happen; like for the other group to suddenly attack. The thought made Ray afraid, so he pushed it away and thought about other things.

It had been a couple days when they finally decided it was safe to go out. Their water supply was getting low, and while they had enough matches to start the gas stove on, they decided it was a good idea to start stocking up on water from the river and boiling it.

Ray had volunteered for this job. He didn’t want to be kept in the house any longer, and any job outside sounded good. He wasn’t enthusiastic to go near the river again, but it was the only option they had for fresh water. What he didn’t expect was Joel to go with him.

Geoff wanted Joel to get to know the area around them better. He’d only been out there once, and that had been forever ago. So he told Ray to show him around while they walked to the river.

The walk had been the most cautious walk he’d ever been on. They were constantly ducking at every sound, crouching low when something seemed suspicious. Joel was as much on edge as Ray was, and they both watched their surroundings.

The river was cold that morning, just another sign that the weather was changing. Ray pulled the bottles out of his backpack, handed a few to Joel, and walked over to the river.

They filled most of the bottles up in silence. Ray kept stealing glances over at Joel, who filled the bottles up while appearing to be in deep thought. He once again wanted to say something; their last conversation hadn’t exactly put them on friendly terms. Ray felt like he was brushed off. It made him mad, but he wasn’t sure what else to do except just ask.

“What’s your problem?” He blurted out without thinking.

Joel looked up, a little surprised. “What do you mean?”

“Why are you pulling away?” Ray continued. “You block yourself off from everyone else. It doesn’t make sense. Why?”

Joel looked stricken when he realized what Ray was asking. He looked at a loss for words. “I-I don’t understand.” Liar.

“You know exactly what I’m talking to about,” Ray said, and crossed his arms. “I just want to know why. It’s really fucking annoying. I’d like to know why you’re pulling away.”

Joel was silent for a long time. He was frozen, his eyes scanning the movements in the water, as if the answer lay there. Then he lifted his gaze to Ray’s, eyes suddenly hard.

“Fine,” He snapped. “I’ll tell you. A few months ago, I had a group. We were all very close; like your group is. We got along well. Then we went to loot an old mall. It was filled with monsters, and you know who the only one who got out was?” He was glaring now. “Me. I was alone. They left me behind, and I don’t want that to happen again. It’s just easier if I didn’t get close to people.”

There was a beat of silence, then Ray spoke.

 “That’s bullshit,” Ray was speaking before he even registered what he was doing. “You got close to people and then they died. Of course you’d feel hurt. But it isn’t a bad thing. It makes you human.” Joel was staring at him now; not with anger, as Ray would expect, but with curiosity and shock. “And I know that sounds like some cliché movie, but it’s true. You can’t seal yourself away and pretend you can’t feel. You’re going to care about somebody eventually, and refusing to talk to anyone isn’t going to keep that from happening. You’re going to care about someone eventually. Take my advice; care about the people who help you while you still can.”

They stood in silence for a long time. Joel stared at Ray with an expression Ray couldn’t read. He didn’t look angry; no, more like he was surprised. Ray just waited, wanting to see if Joel wanted to say anything.

Joel was about to say something, when gunshots sounded nearby. Both their heads turned to the direction of the cabin, then back at each other, eyes wide. Then they ran.

Abandoning the water bottles, they ran off in the direction of the cabin. Ray had a strange feeling of déjà vu running through the woods, and remembered to pick up his feet when certain roots stuck up from the ground.

He kept an eye on Joel as well. The older man tripped and stumbled consistently, but managed to keep up pace with Ray, if not a bit behind. They broke through to the clearing eventually, and the scene made them stop.

People were in the woods shooting at the cabin. Everyone inside were defending by shooting from inside. Then Ray was suddenly yanked back into the brush, a hand closing over his mouth before he could scream.

He tensed, clawing at the hand at his mouth. Panic was filling him until Joel was suddenly very close, and putting a finger to his lips. Ray nodded, relaxing, and Joel let him go.

Ray gestured for Joel to follow him, and, crouching behind trees and brush, they made their way to the back of the cabin. The cabin had a backdoor that led to the kitchen. It looked like the group was only attacking the front of the cabin right now, so the backdoor would be out of their view.

Then they heard footsteps approaching them. Ray crouched lower to the ground, sucking in a breath as he watched silhouettes pass.

“You said you saw him over here?”

“I’m positive, man! He couldn’t have gone far, he might be hiding!”

Joel started pulling at Ray’s sleeve. Then he gestured for Ray to look behind him.

A zombie was shambling towards the noise. No, not one zombie – as Ray watched, he noticed a whole hoard of the undead moved slowly passed them, baited by the gunshots and noise.

“We make a run for it,” Joel was saying. “Those things’ll keep them busy. We can run for it.”

“What about the others?” Ray asked.

“We’ll come back for them,” Joel promised. He sounded like he meant it.

Yells broke out. The herd had made an appearance and the group had begun shooting at them. Ray stood a little taller, peeking out from the brush. The backdoor of the cabin opened, and he could see the others running out.

“Let’s go, now!” Joel suddenly yelled. He grabbed Ray by the arm and pulled him into running, out into the clearing, and towards where the river was again.

Gunshots were loud, and all around them. Ray took a risk at looking around – the other group had come out of their hiding places to greet the herd of zombies. He began to slow down as he saw one of the men of the enemy group get his throat torn out by one of the undead.

Then he was being pushed to the ground, and a cry of pain sprung out. Ray looked around, ready to fight off any of the hoard if that was the cause of his fall. Then he noticed Joel, biting his lip, face white, cradling his leg as a dark spot on the leg of his jeans began to grow.

“Joel!” Ray yelled in panic. He crawled over to his side. “Are you okay? Can you stand?”

Joel shook his head violently. “ No, I cannot fucking stand.” Ray chuckled weakly and looped an arm under Joel’s. He helped the man up as fast as he could, and when he was finally standing, they ran off into the woods.

Their trek to the river took longer than running away. Joel was limping, and Ray was smaller than him and not the best to hold him up. Still, they managed to make it, and Ray was leading Joel into the cabin he was cornered in a few days prior.

He set Joel down in the corner of the shack, and then moved the chest in front of the door in case they were being followed. Then Ray collapsed next to him, the adrenaline of the previous events draining. He turned to look at Joel’s leg.

“How bad is it?” Ray asked.

“I don’t know,” Joel shrugged. He was still biting his lip in pain. “All I know is that I was shot.”

Ray nodded, reaching behind him to grab his backpack, when he realized he left it back at the river. His backpack had a small first aid kit in it.

“Dammit,” Ray muttered. “I don’t have anything on me.”

“I’ll be fine,” Joel huffed. “Let’s just wait here until I catch my breath. Or until everyone leaves the cabin.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ray agreed. They sat in silence before another thought struck Ray. “Did you push me out of the way when you got shot?”

Joel looked up with surprise, and then turned his gaze to the floor. Ray was surprised to see a light blush rise to his cheeks; then again, the man was white as a sheet earlier, he could be just getting his color back.

“Yeah,” Joel eventually replied. “You were about to get shot…So, yeah.”

“Thanks,” Ray smiled and touched the other’s shoulder lightly. “How’s your leg feeling?”

“Still hurts like a bitch,” Joel said.

“Well, we’ll wait until later, see if—“ Ray was cut off by a bang on the door.

They both froze, eyes wide as they stared at the door. Neither spoke, and all was dead silent. Then a groan came from the other side, and another bang. Two groans, two bangs. More and more. The whole hoard had followed them; or at least it sounded like it.

“Shit,” Ray stood up, looking frantically around the cabin. “There’s not another way out!” The shack lacked any windows, and the only other way out of the cabin would be through the hole in the floor; which would ultimately just drown them. There were cracks in the walls, but Ray wouldn’t be strong enough to rip a hole through the wall. They were trapped, their only hope that the zombies will forget they’re there and move on. But judging by the door, the old wood cracking at each thump, they’ll break down the door before forgetting.

Ray sat back down next to Joel, defeated. He was disappointed; he lasted this long, only to end up eaten in a fishing shack next to a bleeding man. He didn’t even notice he was tearing up until his vision started to blur.

He huffed before taking off his glasses angrily, rubbing at his eyes while trying to block out the thumping. He was more angry than sad; disappointed in himself to get trapped so easily, angry at how they just can’t catch a fucking break.

“I guess we’re trapped,” Ray laughed bitterly. “Any last words before we’re eaten?” He turned to find Joel watching him, and he suddenly felt self-conscious of the tears still running down his face.

There was a beat of silence, the only sound the thumping at the door. Then Joel spoke. “I care about you.”

“What?” Ray asked, not quite sure what Joel meant.

“I wanted to say something earlier,” Joel began. “When you said all that. I do care about someone. I care about you.” He paused, shifting awkwardly, and yes, Ray was definite that was a blush on his face. “Just so you know.”

Again, a pause. Ray didn’t know how to respond. Joel had looked away, staring at the floor, but Ray studied him. The stubble that covered his jaw, but didn’t quite hide the redness on his cheeks. His dark hair stood on ends, and was messy from sleeping and running his fingers through it. A sheen of sweat across his forehead. His chapped lips, slightly parted as he breathed, red where he had bitten them earlier. Ray distantly wondered what they would taste like.

He nearly gasped out loud at the thought, but somehow managed to not make a sound. Then a loud crack sounded, and he turned to the door. A split in the middle of the door showed silhouettes from outside, and moaning and groaning. That view was enough to convince Ray that, yes, they were going to die, and that he might as well live out his last thought.

“Joel,” He said, and Joel turned to meet his gaze. His mouth suddenly went dry, and he wondered how crazy he sounded at his next request. “Kiss me.”

Joel’s eyes widened, his face as red as Ray’s felt, and Ray had the smallest inkling of doubt in the back of his mind. Then Joel was leaning in and Ray closed his eyes as he felt the other’s lips on his.

Ray slipped his arms around the back of Joel’s neck, and he felt Joel’s hands settle on his hips, gripping tight. Ray’s hands curled through Joel’s short hair as he turned to straddle the other man, careful of his injured leg. The kiss was rough, and messy; they pulled and pushed and bit. For all they know, this is the last bit of contact they’ll ever have.

Then the thumping on the door suddenly the stopped, but that didn’t register into Ray’s mind until the gunshots started. Both parted and froze, looking at each other with wide eyes before turning to look at the door.

The zombies were gone, leaving the door untouched as someone from outside shot and shot until there were no more. From the multiple gunshots, Ray could tell there was more than one person out there. Joel’s hands tightened on Ray’s sides, while Ray leaned in a little closer to Joel.

The gunshots stopped, and there was silence. Then footsteps came closer to the shack, and Ray braced himself for one of the enemy groups, ready to shoot them.

“Ray? Joel? Are you in there?” Michael’s voice sounded from outside.

Ray gasped in relief, and scrambled from Joel’s lap. He moved the wooden chest as he yelled out, “Yeah! We’re in here!”

“Oh, thank god,” Michael replied. “We thought we lost you, man.”

Ray slid the door open, smiling at Michael – the others were right behind him – then turned to help Joel stand. As he made his way out of the shack, he could feel the other’s eyes on him; they both probably looked a mess, lips swollen and hair messed up that left a pretty good explanation why.

“Joel got shot,” Ray explained. “And we hid in there. Thanks for coming.”

“We’d never leave a fellow lad behind!” Gavin replied cheerily.

“I’ve got some stuff to help Joel,” Jack added, already sifting through his bag.

“Here, let me help,” Ryan offered, and stepped up to Joel’s other side. They set him down on the ground while Jack brought out bandages, and then went to work on Joel’s leg. With a cautious hand, Ray curled his fingers with Joel’s, who did the same. Jack glanced at their intertwined hands and smiled, but didn’t comment on it.

“Are we moving again?” Ray asked, though the answer was pretty obvious.

“Yes, definitely,” Geoff replied. “We already gathered everything before leaving the cabin. We were gonna look around for you then move on.” 

“And we should get going,” Jack said. “Those gunshots could’ve alerted what was left of that other group, and probably any of the undead.”

“After Jack helps Joel,” Ryan added. “We’ll get moving. It shouldn’t take long.”

It didn’t take long, and soon they were walking down next to the river, Ray at Joel’s side while he limped along. Michael sent a playful smirk his way a few times, glancing at Joel and him. Ray just rolled his eyes, but smiled. Gavin made kissing faces at Ray when Joel wasn’t looking, and Ray flipped him off instead. The others didn’t comment on it, but Ray could tell they were fine with…whatever he had with Joel.

They’ll work it out.

***

They didn’t get far in the next few days. Joel’s leg hurt, and they had to take many breaks so he could rest. There wasn’t a town nearby, either, and if there were any cabins or shacks around, they didn’t know about it. So they slept outside, with someone on watch and no campfire, in case there were any people nearby that weren’t friendly.

Ray stuck close to Joel; making sure he was comfortable, getting something if he needed it, basically being a nurse to the older man. Joel wasn’t complaining.

It had been about three days since they left the cabin. Ray was tucked into Joel’s side, the older man’s arm wrapped around him. They built a campfire this time, positive they were alone and needing the light and warmth anyways. Jack stayed on watch, with Geoff nearby to takeover at some point. Michael and Gavin were splayed out near the fire, fast asleep. Ryan was sitting next to them, but appeared to be nodding off.

Ray felt his eyelids grow heavy. His head rested on Joel’s shoulder, and he closed his eyes as he felt sleep begin to takeover.

He was awoken soon after by a yell. Then a gunshot.

Ray’s eyes snapped open, but he stumbled to get up, still disoriented from sleep. Another gunshot helped him wake up a bit, and he took in the scene around him.

Jack had the rifle and was shooting off into the darkness. Ray blinked a few times and realized, no, Jack wasn’t just shooting at nothing. There were zombies all around, and they slowly shambled towards them, their signature groans breaking the quiet of the night. Geoff had gotten up and were defending the others, and as Ray watched, Michael started scrambling for his gun.

That was when Ray remembered that he had a gun, too, so he grabbed the pistol by his side and began joining in the firefight.

He shot a few down that were getting a little too close for comfort; pistols don’t really have good range, anyway. Ray made sure he stayed close to Joel; the older man didn’t have any weapon to defend himself, and he wouldn’t be able to do much with an injured leg.

The trigger clicked a few times and shot nothing, and Ray cursed as he realized the gun was empty. He looked around to make sure he’d be safe for at least a few seconds, and then quickly pulled out bullets from his backpack – they had retrieved his lost bag from the river – and hastily reloaded the gun.

It took all but one second for Joel’s yell to register in his mind. Ray turned in time to see the undead monster raise its arms and grab Ray by the shirt. Ray dropped his pistol and turned to fight him off, but managing to trip and fall on his back somehow. The zombie clawed at him and climbed up his body, face getting too close and snapping at his hands. At the time, he hadn’t even noticed the pain blossoming in his arm until later.

Then another gunshot sounded, much closer to Ray now. The zombie went limp as a hole exploded in the side of its head, sending droplets of blood across the ground. Ray threw the corpse to the side, and looked over at his savior.

Joel was still aiming the gun at the corpse, as if he expected it to start moving again. His eyes were wide and his breathing erratic, similar to what Ray felt. Ray forced smiled at him and took the pistol from his hands, reassuring him he was fine before going back to shooting off the hoard. He made extra sure to keep his sleeve rolled down.

After that whole attack was over, they all just stood panting, adrenaline fading and paranoia setting in. Ray was sure no one slept the rest of the night; he sure didn’t. But probably not the same reason they all were.

It was silent the rest of the night. Nothing else seemed to happen. The minute the sun broke over the horizon, everyone was up and moving, eager to get going and leave behind the bodies.

Throughout that day, Ray felt himself grow more ill. His stomach was in knots, and he nearly threw up when he took a bite from a bag of trail mix. His knees were wobbly and his hands were shaking and he was sure he was running a fever. But he didn’t say a word.

That night when they settled down again, Ray volunteered to take first watch. Michael chose to take second, giving Ray a suspicious look before settling down for the night.

It seemed to take the others forever to sleep. Ray was itching to get his plan done, to just get it over with. He couldn’t stand being here any longer.

Joel was out first, slumped by the campfire and snoring before anyone else. Gavin followed soon after, then Michael, Ryan, then Geoff and Jack. When the sounds of light snoring and deep breathing filled the night, Ray got to work.

He stood up from where he sat, rolled his sleeve down out of worry. The bite wound, about the middle of his lower arm, had stopped bleeding the last night. A ring of greenish black surrounded the bite, and Ray could make out the same color spreading through the veins in his wrist. He gulped, his stomach twisting again and he hastily rolled down his sleeve.

He tipped toed around the camp, and began to grab his backpack when he stopped. He was going to die soon….That meant he didn’t have to take supplies, did he? He wouldn’t need them anyway…

Stopping his train of thought there, Ray set the backpack aside and looking longingly at Joel. The older man looked peaceful in his sleep; much different than when he was awake. Joel’s confession from days earlier rang through his mind – “They left me behind and I don’t want that to happen again” – it made guilt worm into his heart. Joel had lost his entire group, people he cared about. Ray couldn’t imagine losing one of them, let alone all of them. And even worse, now that Ray has broken through Joel’s barrier, he would close up again when he realized that he lost Ray, too.

Ray shook his head. That was why he was leaving. He couldn’t stand to see Joel close up like that again; so he’s leaving. Joel would wonder where he went, they all will. But hopefully Ray will be long gone by the time they find out, and never find him; always wonder where went, but hopefully hate him for leaving. He’d rather have Joel angry at him than close up again like he did.

Before he left, Ray leaned down, and gently as he could, kissed the top of Joel’s head. Then he walked off into the woods, alone, and wondered if that was what Joel felt when he lost his group.

He didn’t dare look back.

***

Joel woke up to angry yelling. Well, it wasn’t quite yelling; reaching that point but not loud enough.

He opened one eye, glaring at the two figures – Michael and Geoff were their names, right? – and closed his eyes again as he listened in.

“So he didn’t wake you up at all last night?” Geoff asked.

“No, I swear!” Michael replied. He sounded stressed. “I woke up this morning and he was gone, alright? That’s it.”

Okay, now this caught his attention. Rubbing his eyes, Joel groggily sat up, gaining the attention of the two. He was put off slightly by the looks of panic and sorrow in their eyes, and Joel was suddenly uneasy.

“What happened?” Joel asked and yawned. He noticed Ray wasn’t by his side and looked around for him; only to find he wasn’t nearby, either. “Where’s Ray?”

Geoff and Michael exchanged worried glances, as if deciding who should spill first. Then Joel connected the pieces of their conversation and his eyes widened.

“What happened to Ray?” He asked, more forcefully this time.

Geoff sighed and rung his hands through his hair. “We have no fucking clue, buddy. Michael woke up and said he was gone.”

“What the fuck does that mean, ‘he’s gone’?!” Joel was beginning to panic now. This is just like the mall incident, he’d messed up, he shouldn’t have gotten close, fuck fuck fuck  fuck—

“Calm down, Joel, you’re breathing funny,” Geoff was suddenly closer, and put a reassuring hand on Joel’s shoulder. “We’ll find him, alright? He couldn’t have gone far.”

“Did he just up and walk away?” Joel asked, loud enough to wake everyone else. At that moment, he didn’t care. “How could he just leave?!”

“We don’t know,” Michael angrily said, and Joel realized how worried the younger man was, too. “I don’t fucking know, so we’re gonna look around and find him.” Then he stormed off, going through the bag that held all their supplies.

Geoff still had his hand on Joel’s shoulder. “Michael knew Ray before this whole thing started. They were roommates, I think. So you can see how this whole thing would make Michael worried as dicks.”

Joel nodded. “He’ll be fine.” He sounded more like he was reassuring himself when he said that, but either way, it didn’t do much. He still felt like a hole had been ripped in his chest.

Geoff must’ve relayed the morning’s events to everyone; packing took less time than usual, and they were on the move faster than Joel anticipated. He was glad for it, though; Ray was out there, and they had to find him.

The tension in the group was heavy. Everyone was worried for Ray; nobody believed he’d just up and walk out of here. Not without a reason. And that was what scared them the most.

Jack was the most observant. He pointed out footprints in the mud around their camp; no one could tell if it was Ray’s or not, but they took a chance.

Then they noticed more disturbing features around them. About an hour into following the footprints, a sour smell came into the air. Gavin gagged on it, while the others followed the footprints as they trailed off near some bushes. Ryan pushed the branches out of the way where the footprints stopped, and made a disgusted noise as he found the source of the smell.

“Someone upchucked over here,” Ryan stepped away from the bush. “It’s not pretty.”

They continued on, and as they did, Joel’s feeling of unease increased. He felt he was going to be sick himself, if they didn’t find Ray soon. The guy didn’t even take any supplies with him. Was he starving this very moment? Or dying of thirst? Could he have injured himself and gotten trapped, unable to care for himself without a first aid kit?

Thoughts swirled in his head until he was lightheaded. Joel forced himself to push the thoughts away for now.

They carried on. The sun set lower, the woods even darker now with the trees blocking most of the sunlight. They’ll have to stop soon, but Joel didn’t want that. They had to keep going, they had to find Ray.

“Joel,” Geoff stopped him one time. “Have you noticed anything odd about Ray? Before he disappeared?”

The word ‘disappeared’ made Joel’s heart ache. “No. He didn’t act that strange, I don’t think.” Joel replied. Then stopped himself. Ray did seem a little off yesterday. “But he did look a little weird the other day, I guess. He was a bit distant.”

Geoff nodded. “I noticed that, too.” He was silent for a while, staring off into the trees deep in thought. Then he moved back over next to Jack to quietly talk to him.

There were more clues, as Joel liked to call them. There was a dark patch on the ground that soaked into the dirt, and a bloody smear on a tree. There was a point where the person walking had fully collapsed, spasmed, then got back up and began walking again. It was here that Joel disliked the most, wanted to move along quicker; but as he stepped forward to walk, his foot landed on something that crunched.

He looked down and gasped aloud. A pair of glasses were right under his foot, smudged and dirty, with a neat crack along the right lense. Joel knelt down and picked them up, his breathing quickening as he looked over the glasses, positive they were Ray’s. The others had stopped and stared at the glasses, and a sickening tension had risen around them. They walked faster after that.

They were debating starting a camp for the night when the woods opened up into a field. A dirt road went right down the center of it, but nothing else aside from hay bales. Wait-

Joel squinted his eyes to see down the road. Yes, there was something on the road. Or someone walking down the road. Without thinking, Joel picked up his speed, and apparently the others were thinking the same thing.

As they got closer to the person, Joel noticed more and more familiar things about them. The black sneakers, long faded by now and dirty. The jeans ripped and smeared with dirt and blood. Mostly the purple hoodie, one that Joel was positive only Ray would wear.

His vision blurring slightly, Joel called out, “Ray! Ray, it’s us!”

The figure stopped walking as Joel ran closer. Joel wiped away the tears running down his face, relieved at seeing Ray there, alive and okay—

Ray turned around. Joel stopped.

Ray was different. His eyes were wide and unfocused, a gleam across them like they were staring at something distant. His mouth hung open, the tongue swollen and blood smeared across his mouth. His skin was deathly pale. A chill ran down Joel’s spine as Ray released a groan frighteningly similar to the undead monsters. His lip curled up in a snarl as the faded pupils trained on Joel, and the being that was left of Ray charged.

Joel couldn’t move. His heart pounded in his chest, his breathing quick and shallow. His legs were wobbling, and he was sure he could pass out right then and there; this was all a dream, and they were all back at the camp, with Ray wrapped up in his arms as the fire crackled in the night.

Ray came closer. His jaw snapped open and close, sending a spray of spit into the air. Joel absent-mindedly noticed that one of his hoodie sleeves were rolled up; revealing a bite wound that was the cause of this.

Ray was close. But Joel couldn’t move. Not a muscle. Ray’s cold, dead hands reached up to his throat, and Joel was ready to meet his end right then and there.

Then a gunshot rang out, and Ray’s body fell to the ground, the ungodly eyes open and staring at the sky.

That snapped Joel out of his stupor. He dazedly looked over at Michael, aiming at the gun at air now, hands shaking and face pale. He looked ready to cry, and Joel had never seen Michael cry before; he didn’t seem like the type to. Then he numbly looked down at Ray’s body.

The limp body laying sprawled across the ground, mouth hanging open and eyes wide; that was when Joel registered that Ray was gone. He fell to the ground next to Ray and began to sob, eyes blurring the image away and he was almost grateful for that.

He blindly reached for Ray and pulled the man into his lap, brushing the dirt and dried blood away from his face. Joel could faintly make out his tear drops falling on the other’s pale cheek; that just made him cry harder.

“Ray, don’t you dare,” Joel whimpered. “Don’t you dare leave me behind!”

He didn’t know how long he sat there. He just knows that after forever, his head cleared enough for him to stop crying. He wiped his eyes and looked around, noticing the others standing around and quietly mourning. Gavin and Michael were hanging onto each other, Gavin sobbing loudly while Michael quietly let tears run down his face. Geoff, Jack, and Ryan were huddled, comforting each other.

Joel looked back down at Ray’s still face. The bullet hole was right in the corner of his forehead, and leaked a small dribble of blood down his face. Biting his lip to keep from breaking down again, Joel used his sleeve to wipe away the blood. Then, as an afterthought, gently closed the younger man’s eyes.

He looked much more innocent with his eyes closed. A lot less deadly. He might even be sleeping, at a different place in a different time. Without thinking, Joel leaned down and kissed Ray’s cheek.

He was cold. Very, very cold, and Joel wanted to wrap him up in his arms and keep him there until he warmed up again.

A hand fell on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Geoff there. The tattooed man looked as broken as the rest of them, but Joel could see he was trying to push his emotions down to try and help them. He gulped before speaking.

“I-I don’t know how long we should stay here…” Geoff trailed off, his voice cracking just a little. His intentions were clear; he didn’t want to leave either, but it was for the best.

Joel nodded, and looked back down at Ray. He moved his hands behind his head, and slowly and gently set Ray down on the ground. He stood up, stumbling slightly at his shaking legs.

“What should we do…?” Gavin had spoken up, though he was much quieter than his usual self.

Not much was spoken. They lay Ray down somewhere in the field, with him on his back and his hands clasped on his chest. At some point someone had picked flowers and put them in Ray’s hands. Joel wanted to add something too, and he reached into his pocket and brought out the glasses. He set them on Ray’s face, brushing away the dirt on the lenses.

When they finally decided to get moving again, it was dark. Geoff had them move a little ways across the field, far enough away that they couldn’t see Ray, and ordered them to build a fire, despite being in an open field. No one argued.

Joel had long since bottled up. Ray was gone. Ray, the one person he cared about most in this world, was gone. And so fast, too. He was already building his walls again, creating another barrier.

Michael must’ve noticed. His face was blotchy and his eyes were puffy and red. He looked Joel up and down before taking in a shaky breath.

“Ray loved you,” Michael began, and Joel sucked in a breath. “I saw that, we all saw that. It’s no secret. And I also know how you sealed yourself off from the rest of us. I don’t fucking know why, and I don’t fucking care right now. Maybe someone else you loved died, I don’t know. But I know Ray helped you relax, and actually broke down your mental walls and shit. But really,” Michael paused. “Don’t do it again. Ray wouldn’t want you to seal yourself off again.” He stopped and began to walk away. “Just think about that.”

Joel sat for a while, stunned into silence. Michael was right; Ray wouldn’t want him to close off again. The younger man had managed to break down his walls, and given Joel the best time since this whole end-of-the-world thing started.

Joel still felt like he wanted to close in on himself, hide, and forget the others existed. The hole in his heart was ripping open more and more every second.

But he threw away his mental walls. Ray was important to him, so he would remember what he wanted. No more walls. No more seals.

No more being alone

[ipredictacyborg]

purplelly replied to your post:Hmmm...

What’s your theory?

I don't have one as such... I'm just... curious whether they're trying to catch people out. ¬u0