#pvki

[loveable-lesbian]

I stg I just saw a tiktok abt how they/them and nb lesbians cannot be lesbians bc "they've got their own word!!" which is trixic but. god I just feel gross now - I was a lesbian way before I used nb as an identifier, lesbian is so much more of a comfortable label for me. sexuality: lesbian. gender: lesbian. I feel so shitty now and I don't know how to deal with being shoved from my own community into one that I didn't even know existed (trixic) til like two days ago. (also i love ur blog sm)

first of all, I had to do some research, but trixic, as far as I could find only has existed for a few years within the realm of tumblr. I don’t think it’s fair to expect people to know that term and identify with it. Also, lesbianism has a long history of being intertwined with gender nonconforming people. Telling nonbinary people they can’t identify as lesbian just sounds like odd and extreme gatekeeping to me. Based on what i’ve learned from my time in the community, this criticism doesn’t hold water in most online communities or in any irl queer community i’ve ever been a part of. Keep identifying how you feel comfortable and don’t let the dumb tiktok discourse get to you!

[femmesupportgroup]

I'm making a lesbian flag cake with the orange/pink/white colors and it doesn't look amazing bc I'm pretty new at this but it TASTES good and I am HAPPY

hell yah!! congrats on makin ur cake! we all start somewhere, n u should be proud of urself for this one!

(side note: plz send cake I love cake)

[loveable-lesbian]

yo nice on the mn bit - I have no clue if you're coming to the twin cities or not but if you are, there's a lot of gay friendly (and specifically under 21 gay friendly) stuff to do! congrats tho and we look forward to welcoming you!!

oh shoot! I totally misread the ask/answer that informed my prev ask feel free to completely ignore me

lol, thank you for the welcome and the advice <3 I really appreciate it!

[nogitsunelichen]

uhh I just saw the teaser for Calamity and suffice it to be said that I am both incredibly excited and very very scared of missing it when it comes out... thank you!! also have a great Friday!

I will be posting on Tumblr similar to that one for every chapter I post! If you don’t follow me or don’t want to (idc no pressure hun) I’m tagging all the posts with #Calamity BID so you can check updates there. 

I’m glad you’re excited for it!! I am too! The outline is literally 22 pages long...buckle up because it’s gonna be a ride! :D

><><><

Post referenced.

[butchfemmelove]

nothing for v-day itself, but we went to an Airbnb together last Friday and they're coming over for us to cook dinner together tomorrow with a new cookbook I got 🗡️💖

aw that sounds fun!

butches and femmes, tell us your valentine’s day plans!

[amarakaran]

you're 18!!! that's so exciting I turned 18 like 6mos ago happy birthday!!

thank you, thiery! 💝

[clotpolesonly]

update on the saga: I talked to him, and he was like ok I didn't get it, which, fine, but then he asked if she and I were now dating?? why is this my life?? is romance really that normative for this kiddo?????? it doesn't compute. what the fuck.

uuuuugggghhhh

it absolutely is that normative, which is the worst thing and so supremely frustrating. it just goes right over some people’s heads. no comprende.

i’m sorry, hun. hopefully with repetition you’ll be able to get it through his skull and make him actually get it. and i hope it doesn’t take too or get too exhausting for you in the meantime.

[clotpolesonly]

thank you so much! I really appreciated that answer and it actually helps a lot. I really think it is a foreign concept to him, lack of romantic attraction. I mean, I've thought for YEARS that platonic affection was way more important to me than romantic attraction, broadly speaking (it really is a wonder I didn't come up with the idea of aro sooner), and I have had many conversations with him about it wherein he's made very clear how different that is to his own experiences. (1/?)

(sorry for this being long btw) My partner and I actually dated for two years before breaking up and remaining best friends, and really close. This definition as an addition to our relationship feels so right that I can't help but smile about it every time I think about it. In any case, I love this kiddo, even if he's been an absolute ASS recently (doing some other, really problematic behaviors, and my friends and I are super worried). I think it probably comes down to just TALKING to him. (2/2)

yes, then, that definitely sounds like a situation where some real communication is in order. there’s such a gap in understand between aromantic and alloromantic because romance is such a huge and fundamental and omnipresent aspect of alloromantic people’s lives and the way they perceive the world. it can be genuinely baffling for them to try to conceive of a perspective that doesn’t include that. it may take time for him to adjust to the mental shift and really be able to recognize his own biased viewpoint.

i’m really glad you and your partner found something that clicks for you! sometimes just being able to define yourself and your relationship can work wonders, and finally finding that sweet spot of how you fit together is a great feeling.

so yeah, talk to your friend. talk to him about your experiences and how your aroness affects your worldview and how it differs from his. talk about how he can not be an ass, haha, and what you need from him to keep him from being an ass again. hopefully, if he’s really invested in your friendship, he’ll make an effort towards understanding and changing his behavior.