pathetic simon… do you think he gets annoyed when you push him off when he comes home all sweaty and icky. you shove him into the shower, and this idiot tries to drag you in too.
he’d be such a sucker for seeing you mess around and dress up in his uniform too, your hair all slicked back into a (messy) bun, as you pretend to salute him and walk around marching like an idiot.
I can picture it so clearly!
Simon's home, one heavy boot in, and suddenly you're in front of him, palm out to stop him and going "shower" because he's sooo disgusting he would go lay in bed with the uniform just to grin when you whine. boots in bed!! outrageous
and when you don't hear him arriving, having a snack in the kitchen by yourself? he would wrap his arms around you, all sticky with sweat and smelly, because he's just a man™ so you push him, groaning all the way to the bathroom
the way that man would carry you over his shoulder and just get in the shower with all your clothes on... he'd be so silly
and about his uniform? you're not lucky. honestly, you usually force him to wait until it's clean because you're not wearing that, but he would pout so so so much, puppy eyes, (feigned) snotty nose if necessary, and you just couldn't say no. how could you?
so naturally, Simon has at least a dozen videos of you pretending to be him, marching around the house, giving him very exaggerated salutes and even photos of you posing with his favorite rifle (don't worry, it's unloaded!) bc he thinks it's hilarious it's nearly as tall as you are
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