#pyxrin.txt

[ask-spit]

How often do you hear explicit jokes based on your callsign?

mate, too bloody often… cant go five minutes without some joker makin’ a spit or swallow crack like theyre the first bloody genius to ever think of it.

... most times i just let it slide, roll with it, yknow? but if im feelin’ a bit cheeky, ill ramp it right up, proper filthy. just to watch ’em squirm.

[ask-spit]

Would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no games or games, unlimited games, but no games?

mate… did you just drop a riddle straight outta hell? ya cant go danglin’ ‘unlimited games’ then yankin’ it back in the same breath... its just psychological warfare.

... reckon ill be sweet pickin’ bacon or somethin’. can replace games with anything else.

[ask-spit]

Look what I found

... what in the fresh hell, mate. who thought chucking plant spray and face wash in the same list was alright? whakatara.

[ask-spit]

Me rn:

I goyta shiwer snf eat but im do tured. Man. Typos presernef to help combey the levek of my eepynedd.

mate… had a full-blown aneurysm tryin’ to read that. sounds like youre two breaths from face-planting into your keyboard.

reckon its worth it to take a quick rinse, get a snack in the gut? way better than wakin' up at 2 am feelin' like your stomach's tryna eat itself.

[ask-spit]

Hi (cheetah) Spit!

I wonder how well your hunting instincts work? >:)

Pulls out a laser pointer and shines it on the wall, moving it around enough to draw attention

declans pupils constricted in an instant. narrow slits like pinpricks, flicking across the wall. his teeth clinked together in a soft warning snap, more instinct than thought. whether the receiver of said threat was pyxrin or the red dot, it wasnt clear.

yeah nah, im not fallin’ for some dumb kitten trick, mate. not my first rodeo... his voice was scratchy. strained. then, like a second hand striking noon, he lunged. a blink and he was slapping at the red dot.

[ask-spit]

Warm fizzy drinks sound like actually hell. Actually, that reminds me of what I think stomach acid would taste like. Still icky.

youre missing out, mate! it only sounds rank 'cause youre thinkin' of it like stomach acid!

what if you pictured havin' it on a chilly day, eh? sound better then?

[ask-spit]

Ok, but warm beer sounds disgusting. Did you drink it?

well, you know, it was just one of those last minute decisions. we dont lug booze on a mission, but i deserved it, bro. just couldnt find a cool one...

... and its not too shabby, honest as. a warm fizzy drink is choice, whats the difference if its beer?

[ask-spit]

Im so booorrreeeddd......

There's no one here and I can't waitress the fucking air.

see, this got me thinkin’ back to my teen job. had a trick that never failed.

soon as i started cleaning? boom, people would stroll right in like clockwork. worked every blimmin' time. bit of a stitch-up, but eh… it did the job!