#q rant

[qcoded]

Lil comic based on an unfortunate, recent occurrence...! I honestly think my ex-moot thought I was stupid enough to believe them 😭 BOY YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE

What concerns me the most is that they're like? 14/15, and they're lying about being 18 on their alts which like. GIRL DON'T INTERACT WITH THOSE GROWN ADULTS

[quiche-quibbles]

36

I’m not ok. 

Yeah I know. Big surprise, right? *slight sarcasm there*

I’m not ok. And frankly I wonder if God is looking at me with a disappointed frown on His face. Haven’t exactly “been at peace or trusting Him” or something I guess, for i dunno how long anymore...a few days? weeks??...I’ve been trying, just to let you all know. 

I don’t know if my mind is just throwing a tantrum, but my emotions managed to flip 180º and then another 180º in a span of one or two hours today. First I’m ok. Then I’m this close to storming out and sobbing in front of the professor, tears already dripping down my eyes (the class/lecture had absolutely nothing to do with my feelings btw. I was just sitting in front). And then soon after it’s like nothing happened. I hate it. Not to mention the horrible feeling of sitting there trying to fight back tears as your mind races, boiling with thoughts that you can’t just stop but these thoughts are so painful your body wants to let them out somehow.

I’ve cried twice already this week before coming to class, during my quiet times might I add, as I threw tantrum after tantrum before God for whatever reason, whether it’s my stress, my fear of failure, grumbling, complaining, whatever. 

Whatever the case is, I’m not ok. And I’ve already wished half-jokingly to several people this week that I wanted to die. Put me out of my misery already. It’s clear I haven’t had an actual mental break since before exams were even done so there’s that. Constant mental stimulation, late nights (a lot of time, unnecessary), and other schoolwork that pull me out of just being able to study...not to mention the sudden surge of relationship concerns my mind’s been popping up for whatever reason???

...been thinking about getting tested again too just to be sure about my supposed ADHD...cuz clearly despite being told I’ve had it since childhood, adult form is like “what? what do I do?” Anyway...we’ll see how that goes. I don’t know what to do or who to go to or how much to spend...so in Filipino terms... parang malabo (seems unclear or a foggy prospect).

Oh, and another sign my body was beginning to suffer? I got another nosebleed.

Anyway, if any of you care, please pray for me. I’m not ok. I dunno if God is happy with me right now...

[grimoiregate]

Why do bullshit "scientific" people talk about natural selection when the topic is privilege and the "inferiority" of certain groups come up? Natural selection is something the human race cannot control. Institutionalize systems that we have created is not natural selection. And why is it that many of those type of people are against murder (when it comes to the privileged), but still spout their natural selection bullshit.