seen from China
seen from Maldives
seen from Norway
seen from Japan
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Martinique
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from South Korea
seen from Lithuania
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from China
seen from Australia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Canada
seen from Denmark
seen from Canada
Part three of the Adventures of Pam and Turing:
Avenging Uncle
For the 007 games anon prompt:
mi6 releases its top ten list of most wanted terrorists and fugitives with rewards of up to 10 million pounds each, but the public is very confused as to why one of them is a cat - and why their taxes are being used to pursue a four-legged creature. cue m having to explain this to MPs at a hearing in whitehall.
Read it on AO3.
When the world was still enough...
Chapter three: Cat army at Her Majesty’s service
Pam was lying on a red velvet pillow, contemplating world dominance while eyeing her new kingdom. Daddy’s flat wasn’t that big, but she had settled for a place on the window sill of the living room—for now. From here, she could overlook the entrance and keep tabs on what all her minions were up to. Not that she that had many, she had to admit grudgingly to herself. Gone were the days where she could command the hundreds of Spectre servants. Now, Daddy was her favourite, closely followed by Turing, a shabby tabby, Daddy had taken in a long time ago. He needed some training but would eventually make an acceptable servant, she had assured herself. As it was, Turing was loafing on the sill beside her. NOT on her pillow, of course. He had brought her a small mouse, which she had found adequate for her to munch down before complaining about its diminutive size.
Read the rest on AO3.
Part Two of The adventures of Pam and Turing:
Innocence incorporated
“I swear, Q, this cat is trying to kill me!”
“James! What have you done this time?”
“Nothing, that beast just attacked me out of the blue. Look! I’m goddamn bleeding!!”
“Bond, watch your language! Honestly, I've thought better of you! With all that blood, how come she hasn’t gotten any on herself?!”
“Because she—“
“And how come there is blood on my Swiss knife prototype? You’ve been playing around with it, haven’t you! Oh, how dare you accuse Pam when you did this yourself? How often have I told you not to touch my prototypes?!”
“But, Q, look—that’s definitely a bloody paw print.”
“What? Now you’re pointing the finger at Turing as well? Man up, 007! Accusing innocent cats, my cats! Just because you can’t keep in line. Really? And stop bleeding all over the place. It’s a bloody mess. Bloody bleeding agents! One would think you knew how to treat wounds, but oh no! Cry murder and blame the cats. As if Pam would hurt a fly or Turing would be this devious. I really wonder how you manage not to blow yourself up on your missions with this kind of attitude.”
Daddy had pushed Gramps out of the living room, muttering under his breath all the way to the bathroom to get the bleeding hand properly bandaged and probably give Gramps a tetanus vaccination. The one with the extra large syringe. Turing had tried to hide behind Pam, who was throning on her red velvet cushion on the window sill, licking her paws clean.
“You better get that blood off your paws, Turing. Can’t have Daddy think we had anything to do with this knife of his, now, can we?”
Part 2 of The adventures of Pam and Turing
Chapter Four: And then there were four!
The gross gets grosser and Pam is out-smarted by the dumb twin.
Perry Q-Dog contemplating what to do about the dire point-score of Team Q-branch.
Hit the keys, Perry!
Let’s get those points start rollin’ in.
Innoncence incorporated
Chapter two: There will be dragons
Lizzy and Izzy were thrilled when they got a visit from Grumpy. Not that they were bored, with a continuously flow of humans being thrown into their ditch for them to play with. However, most of these humans posed a rather short time of entertainment. A bit of spit and a well placed bite and suddenly it was all seizures and screams—admittedly the best part of the shenanigans, but over and ending far too quickly for their liking. Now, Grumpy told them to bring their best game, because the Princess had send them on a mission. And the human she would be sending, had to be annihilated at all cost. Though, when Grumpy was explaining about the human being old, Izzy was rather disappointed.
“Ugh, old. Probably all chewy. Couldn’t Pam send a tender, fresh one instead?”
“Yeah, ugh. Old. Chewy.” Lizzy repeated annoyed. “A fresh, tender one would be better.”
Grumpy looked at them, grumpily.
“He may be old, but Princess assures me he will put up quite a fight. She has tried to take him down for some time now.”
“Ha, no problem. Leave it to us!” Izzy said confidently.
“Yeah, ha. No problem. Just leave it to us,” Lizzy repeated as confidently.
Grumpy looked from one Komodo dragon to the other, grumpily doubtful. When she heard a commotion above, she decided to better get back to her humans. Now, it was up to the lizards to do their work.
Lizzy and Izzy took their favourite places, waiting patiently for the human to be thrown into the ditch. They could hear some fighting taking place on the small bridge above them. Eventually, a human fell into the sand. And then another one. Lizzy looked at Izzy.
“Two humans? But Grumpy said one human. How are there two humans in our ditch? That is one human too many!”
Now, the two humans were fighting with each other and Lizzy became all dizzy. Which one were they supposed to take care of? Izzy was watching, looking from one of the humans to the other. Very frustrating, all this running and flailing around of arms and legs. Better concentrate on one of them, then they could take the other one afterwards. Izzy walked slowly towards the human who was closest, taking a measured glance at his legs. He was standing still, making a nice target. One more step and another one, and ‘schnapp’! Izzy got hold of a trouser-covered leg, pushing its teeth through the thick material and into soft flesh. The poisons from its glands began their work, causing the human to cry, kicking and waving his arms and legs. Lizzy ran towards the other human, an old man, but somehow he jumped to the side and then put a foot on Lizzy’s back and—was gone!
“What kind of wizardry is this? Izzy! Where is the other one?”
But Izzy was busy, ripping the convulsing human apart. With a shrug, Lizzy decided to join the fun, seeing something shiny in the sand on its way over to Izzy and gobbled it up before contemplating that it might be this metal thingie the human had been pointing at the other human. Whatever, Lizzy thought swallowing the edgy thing, better help Izzy dismember the human.
*********************
Daddy was watching yet another video with Grumpy Cat, looking particularly grumpy this time. It was a video shot in Macau, of all places. And Daddy had put it on, since Gramps was at the very place just now.
Pam and Turing were watching intently perched on the desk beside the laptop, Pam’s tail swishing in anticipation. Grumpy Cat seemed agitated for once, and within a few moments it became clear that Izzy and Lizzy had failed. Again.
“Bloody lizards!”
Pam growled loudly and pushed Turing over the edge of the desk, before she jumped down herself and walked towards Turing’s half filled foodbowl. This called for a compensatory snack.
Innocence incorporated (Part two of The Adventures of Pam and Turing)
Chapter three: What the heck is sex, anyway?
Pam is appalled.
The first time ‘it’ happened, Pam was too shocked to intervene. Turing just looked bored, having been privy to Daddy’s shenanigans so many times before.
It started with this rubbing of lips and faces in the living room. Nothing, Pam hadn’t seen before. But then Gramps grabbed Daddy and held him tight, and Daddy made all those small heartbreaking noises. Pam was ready to send Turing to the rescue, but he just yawned at her, explained that this was normal for humans.
It got worse!
Read it on AO3.
When the world was still enough...
Part One of The adventures of Pam and Turing is now finished.
For the anon prompt exchange:
James rescues Princess Pampuria from Blofeld's lair and takes her home to Q as he knows he loves cats. Q adores her but Bond becomes convinced she's trying to kill him.
