#quad advice

[quadrant-confessions]

hey! I really hope this doesn't come off as a vent or anything, but... I used to have this moirail, right? my very first moirail in fact! and it was definitely pale, no redrom or flush, but I miss them. I am just friends with them now. and what I mean by when I miss them, I mean I miss them being my moirail. they broke it off with me after a while because I was apparently too much to handle? which I didn't understand at all! they insulted me while breaking it off... and I guess I did go a little off the rails at them. I went off on them because I have issues with my emotions, also because I guess I relied on them too much for help? I have a new moirail, he's sweeter and definitely an upgrade. I love him lots, but I cant help but miss my ex-moirail so much... and, not to mention, but my ex-moirail-just-friends situationship keeps randomly bringing up me and them being moirails again, and I get a little angry... what should I do?? D: -- 🧁 anon

modnote: hi anon!! i don't have a more polite way to say this but i really believe you should friend dump that person. it feels a lot [from my limited perspective] like they don't really have your best interests at heart? if you feel like that's too sudden id gently confront them and ask why they keep bringing it up. DO NOT GET BACK TOGETHER IF THEY TRY TO OFFER polyamory is great but if you two were unhealthy and they keep being Weird about it that's a bad sign.

modnote: good luck!! let me know what happens if you feel comfortable ^_^

[quadrant-confessions]

so, i have a moirail. i've been with them for a little while, and of course i care about them, but our relationship is causing me some stress right now for a couple reasons. first, i try my best to reach out to them regularly, but between all the stuff i have on my plate irl and keeping up with everyone else i care about online, i end up forgetting sometimes. i would love it if they would start messaging first, but I don't know how to ask because they're so easily upset. second, they're just not very... moirail-y with me? i have a kismesis too, and they're wonderful and affectionate with me. they make me feel happy and cared for, unlike my moirail. i want to be closer with my moirail, but it feels like i'm doing all the work for no reward, especially considering they barely ever perform as a moirail while i drop everything to help them (even to the point of neglecting my health). what should i do?

(all pronouns replaced with they, otherwise my anonymity would be damaged)

modnote: hey! sorry for getting to this a few days late, wasn't sure how to respond exactly. this might not really be what your looking for, but it really sounds like you're in an unhealthy or even toxic relationship with your moirail. i think you should communicate these things to your moirail, try and tell them how you feel about it, but ultimately if it doesn't work you should probably break it off. you deserve a strong and healthy moiralleigance, not something ione sided that hurts you. i wish you the best of luck anon! maybe tell me how it goes?