Phone challenge meme!! thank you @jourquet and @illbesieunyoulater for the tags 🥰🥳
Lately I've needed quiet so I've kept the same shot of Brittany (we've got family there) and I use meteo as lock bc otherwise my distracted ass is NOT going to remember to catch that umbrella.
Song is from Jourquet's Seongje's playlist btw!! Now I'm sad bc I can't find the link, I gotta dig in my mentions 😭
Oh and I love comics! I change subscriptions pretty often tho, bc I like to backread in one go (but anything from Lina Lim is a banger, the way she draws holy SHIT that anatomy knowledge 😭😭😭)
alpha sieun omega suho?!?! 👀 subscribing to all of your thoughts on this I would love something like this omg 🙏
Omg thank you for indulging meeeeeeeeeee, it's making my week
(TBH it was 50/50 to go with Alpha x Alpha, but that's a secondary plot bunny that I'm not chasing yet)
TLDR
much like in real life, it's very hard to tell wtf is in anyone's mind or trousers unless they make an effort to advertise it (the hassle of straight passing but for omegaverse).
It's also an excuse to work-in better endings for some characters while also having fun with the timeline, it's me and 57 tabs on Korean lifestyle research against my own inertia lol
snippets!!!
some lines from the intro chapter:
“Who is it?”
The voice is muffled by the door, so Suho chances it and lets some firm-cajoling bleed through his tone to get the customers to move it. He heard off the radio once that sub-gender voice intentions are a whole field in applied Physics, and they disregard pesky details such as materials.
“Delivery”, he pushes again. Come on, for fuck’s—
“I didn’t order anything.”
Suho couldn’t tell exactly what about the reply tips him off that there is an annoyed alpha beyond that door; except the part of his hindbrain that handles this type of signals is suddenly on high alert.
Family of chill betas my ass, auntie.
He pushes his voice down again, purging it of any intention until it’s his usual teenage one. Then he puts his ear against the door, straining to hear more as he says: “What? No, I have the right place—“
He might or might not have heard a growl. He’s gearing up for a confrontation (he is getting his fucking money, alpha or not) when the door opens a crack and he’s face to face with Yeon Sieun.
Two things happen in quick succession:
First, he’s hit full front with his classmate beautiful eyes, face impassible like every day in class. It's a wild contrast with his freshly showered hair and slouchy house clothes.
Second, the wall of alpha pheromones coming at him through the door is so strong, it makes his teeth ache. He must have washed the suppressing cream off with this shower and not bothered to re-apply it.
Suho has not slept in thirteen hours, he's nearing early summer, and he's so thirsty: he never stood a chance.
Second snippet is gently spicy (EXPLICIT) so under the cut it goes [omg finding something cohesive and short in 5k of w/e this is, is so HARD lol]:
I am skipping my fave part (Sieun getting Suho to ride his mouth) bc I don't want to drop the lore heavy paragraph without a buildup, but I had so much fun imagining an Omega's anatomy (and how it could be dynamic before/during/after heat). if I ever end up sharing it, that it will be fun to read!
Instead I am sharing my second fave: a tiny bit of aftercare/cuddling!
“No, let me—“ and this is how Suho is finally kissing him: a quick sipping kiss on his lips, and then broad sweeps of the tongue on his cheeks, his chin, and memorably, a kiss and a kitten lick on each of his eyelids when he closes his eyes and they stick shut together.
The wet strokes quickly build up in a way that make Sieun’s skin tingle with sensitivity just as Suho gets progressively more sloppy and slick-come-drunk, the final kiss ending up in a lingering tug of Sieun’s bottom lip.
He could be content with this: kissing Suho for hours on end, lazing on the bed, school books abandoned on the floor.
If only they were not in the middle of this hormone cocktail that wants him to put that mouth to better use.
Case in point: he digs under the nest, dragging Suho with him (who yelps deliciously when his core chafes against Sieun’s rough jeans), and he raises the plastic bag with a smug huff. He doesn’t realise he’s purring again until Suho hides against his neck, rubbing his face against his sensitive gland there. Sieun boops his nose with the rim of the plastic bottle, in a silent entreaty to drink, but Suho makes unhappy noises and burrows harder.
Rather than insisting, Sieun sighs.
He’s still holding onto Suho’s side. Instead, he gets distracted caressing the sweet spot where tights and hips meet; his free hand wandering under the hem of Suho’s shirt, spanning the sweet curve of his ass, grabbing and releasing in a lazy circle. He plays with the folds of the hips the most, the skin there tender, thin, shivering at every soothing sweep of his palm.
Sieun can be so, so, patient. He can wait for Suho to recover before he proceeds to devour him whole.
Not getting the reaction he wants, Suho whips his head away from Sieun’s neck with a disgruntled squinty expression. It’s eerily similar to how he looked when Sieun woke him up for their first lunch together. He finally grabs the bottle, dwarfed in his hand the way it wasn’t in Sieun’s, ignoring Sieun’s alpha-satisfied purring.
He chugs it all in one go, the graceful line of his neck making Sieun’s mouth water for different reasons. The way it slopes into the strong line of his shoulders, soars into a square jaw, the swollen gland under it, the unmarked skin around.
Sieun wants, wants, he wants Suho so desperately and this time he wants to look his fill while he fucks Suho in the nest he made for them and don’t stop until his mate wants to eat and sleep and wake up to do it all over again. The ache builds up in his groin, the back of his head, his gums, and yet he feels like he would withstand worse, give up more, holding up forever and a day with Suho happy in his lap, at his back in a fight, in his life to smile and glow.
I’ve been on 20 mg of adhd meds for a month and it was kind of ok. However work has been hellish the past 2 weeks (a month ago a meeting went v badly and I didn’t bite my tongue bc engineering managers paid 500k usd a year should not be asking me to be their fucking PA)(I am not a PA I work in support I know the product after 6 years of fighting with it I am YOUR pain in the ass, sr ‘I joined from another division and over there we do it that way’ eng) and so at work I have been 0 productive. I went from having 2 weeks of 10 hours a day cracking stuff down to 2 weeks of ‘fuck if I know wth’ a day coping by writing (bc i was self mandated not on socials)(i have never written so much smut back to back ever) still on meetings and mentoring and chasing shit but not ‘focused’ you know?
anyway, I’m literally yapping here under a read more because I’ve been upped for 2 weeks on a 30 mg doses and I will then be on a 2 weeks of 40 mh and then assessment to see how I’m doing
and I’m on my third day of 30 (I started Thursday)
and I’m on holiday for a week back home (I’m from a small Italian province in the south)
and HOLY SHIT i feel like I could take off like a rocket. If only I could sit down and write for 6 hours, but I need to talk to people and see family and friends and literally I have NO fucking filter
also, the Italy thing matters because breakfast around here is sweet (cornetto and cappuccino) and I’ve started (naturally, idek why) to have protein heavy breakfast in the past ? I want to say month? (Like, egg toast salmon/ham kind of, I had Soup the other day)(SOUP at 6 am it was GOOd but like SOUP??)
which means that today I:
Took my meds at the same uk time (7 smth)
didn’t have bfast until now (9 am uk)
and I’m whoosh, faint, lightheaded, AND
and it’s a sugary carb kind of bfast.
thank fuck I realised I had mistakenly ordered caffeinated coffee and asked to get it decaf instead (I will pay twice for my mistake of course but it was my fault) bc otherwise holy shit
I really want to try these meds out, but maybe pto is not a good idea?
the thing is that they make my mind go… well, the mind is the usual mess, but my anxiety and general ‘Augh what if I fuck it up I better not do anything ever’ kind of take a backseat because literally my brain is like ‘go go go GO’ (‘go where’ you might ask, and the whole point of it is not the destination is that it wants to GO)(which never happens. I never want to GO at things that need to GO) so I don’t want to give up that GO feeling but like. I have NO filter. I went a lifetime doubting I had adhd bc I’ve always been this distracted kind of quiet with random highs kids (I know. But I wasn’t sure) and now at FUCKING 34 AND ON MEDS i feel like the POSTER CHILD for ADHD. I have never felt as adhd coded as NOW.
it’s probably bc I need to get used to the new doses, I need to figure out how to have heavy bfasts I a country where it’s just not the norm, the place I’m staying has no kitchen, and I gotta see how many people I make an ass of myself in front of (what is even this sentence. Help.)
thank you so much @buzzingjoy for asking about it 🤩❤️🥹
snippet 1, post reveal;
Sieun realises afterwards that the signs where always there - there was simply no one yet to connect them into a pattern.
He recalls the episode with the flat and Suho reading a [block] for another. That tugs at the memory of Suho never watching the screen at the noraebang and laughing about getting a lower score than Youngyi, series of texts to Sieun haphazardly written, no punctuation, weird typos.
Except for one, the last.
Sieun also thinks of Suho sleeping in class, listening to explanations in his dreams, and yet still averaging marks above the middle line, closer to top third than below.
He can hear Suho still audibly grinding his teeth as they roll all the way to the hospital room.
Usually after the session Dr [] walks them up the physio lobby, mock salutes Sieun, and lets him escort Suho back to his room; he’s not wasting the journey when his patient has a guard dog right there.
But this time Suho is wheeling by himself, gestures brusque with anger, a testament to how much improvement he’s accomplished.
He only stops to wait for Sieun once past the second elevator’s doors; the room three floors and one air tunnel above them.
They look at each other for a beat of silence, close but apart in all the ways that matter.
Suho’s half turned profile, framed by the elevator, looking at Sieun from the corner of his eyes. He’s wearing that grey sweater, forgotten once and never returned. Himself is wearing the red and black jacket, handed to him by a nurse with the rest of Suho’s clothes on That Day, left behind by halmeoni.
Sieun thinks of the figure they must make, chasing each other, always on the threshold of something, wearing each’s other colours.
Keep on pushin’.
Sieun takes a step forward.
He’s ready to contend with Suho’s temper and already within touching distance when he sees his friend’s face crumpling in silent sobs, seconds before pulling the hood of the sweater over his head and eyes, turning away.
There is nothing to say. Instead, Sieun takes (the wheelchair’s handles, the news, Suho) from there; rolling them back to safety in room [].
Snippet 2, post physio shower time, bc it’s pure pining:
They don’t take turns in the shower. Instead, the first time after he woke up, Suho whined at Sieun that he wanted only his help, we’re friends Sieun-ah, he’s gross, woe was him, until he got a single nod back.
It cut the vivid descriptions of how it was nothing new for either of them right mid-word.
Sieun had already planned for it, brought a second whole outfit change, ready.
After getting caught by nurse [], she got a dripping Sieun down (Suho was already back in bed, dried and bundled up), and walked them through safety protocols as advised to friends and caretakers of a patient. Just to be sure, she also made Halmeoni and Sieun’s dad sign waivers because, textual words: “it was all very romantic but lawsuits from parents of teenagers being stupidly in love are above my pay grade.”
Sieun fervently wished for a real life mute button. Suho barked an exaggerated laugh.
Which is how it ends like this, today, like most physio days: Sieun knows how many moles Suho has on his back. (It’s seven, shaped in [] constellation).
Suho has gripped Sieun’s hand very tight one day after seeing a still healing purpling mark on his neck. (Matching Seongje’s black eye).
Suho has remarked with something uncomfortably close to both admiration and envy how much stronger Sieun’s shoulders and thighs looked, just after the latter caught Suho by the waist to avoid braining himself against the shower’s tiled wall. Unrepentant, he then joked on when they’d compare leg press weights.
Sieun has not said anything back about him, neither back then or at all, but the sheer beauty of Suho’s body in his memories haunts him in a way that is nearly a physical ache, and this has not changed even during the early days when he could count all his ribs. His friend’s skin was stretched over the shape of his clavicle, hips, cheekbones. Too fragile, too tender: all Sieun could think about how he wanted to bite every inch, starving for him.
Apparently, a coma of [] months can burn through a lot of buccal fat. Evidently, Sieun wants Suho in any way he can get him.
Moving on: the bathroom has a seat for one patient, Suho, and enough space for Sieun to stay standing. Between shampoo, body wash (Suho will not let him touch below his navel or above his knees, and Sieun turns around for the same), heavy-duty hydration cream, getting the both of them changed and hair-drying Suho until he looks like a poodle, Sieun finally gets him to pass out in bed, chocolate pudding half finished on the tray.
At which point he steps out of the room and he asks at the reception of Suho’s usual doctor is available anytime soon for an appointment.
Turns out there’s something the following morning.
Sieun texts his mother to let her know he will skip winter hagwon.
He does not get a reply back.
How it feels when the whack research into how teenagers in ROK get a driving license and what they can drive by class/weight/cc by age comes in handy to intro the scene before cracking away at more smut: 🙂↕️
fuck. The bazillion motivational tumblr posts were right. I have finally have something long enough that can be reread and every time I get to the end I realize the only way to read more is to write more
