#queansdiary

[subnea]

Feeling pretty good in my skin recently

[subnea]

After a very dramatic few weeks with the most recent girlfriend Raven, @owner-of-nea and I have closed our marriage for the first time in 2.5 years. We’ve had many talks, and we have agreed that if and when he is ready to date again, we will both open up to create a more balanced dynamic. But for now he’s deleted all the dating apps.

In the meantime, we’ve been focusing on us, we’ve had some play nights, he’s spoiled me with orgasms and I think I’m turning into an orgasm whore and losing my desire for denial!

I still have some cucky desires, but the reality just never quite hit the mark. I’m generally very laid back, and the drama and arguments they had with him, was exhausting and sucked the fun right out of the dynamic. So since his ladies didn’t want to have all that fun and exciting stuff with him, I’ll sure as hell take it instead!

[subnea]

One more sleep until date day! He’ll set off tomorrow before lunch and will return after lunch on Saturday. This is the first time he’s had an overnight and I’ve had some wobbles and some anxiety. But last night he made me remember I’m his, and reminded me how a good cuckquean should behave.

We hung out in the hot tub and chatted. He made me take off my swimsuit and then he fucked my throat briefly. Then we went up to bed where he let me jerk him off while I ate his asshole 😍. He put me on my back so he could use my cunt as he slapped my face a grabbed my tits. He told me I won’t be cumming anytime soon, but he’ll make sure Juliette will multiple times. And that he expects me to edge every hour, on the hour while he’s gone.

And so I’ve been a drippy happy wife all day waiting for date day!!

[subnea]

@owner-of-nea has been tormenting me all day. It started off with him bossing me around with some house tasks, do this, clean that etc. then he let me edge in his closet (my safe sub space). He had me pop in a plug (he bought one with a fluffy tail I hadn’t tried yet), and had me put on my nipple clamps while I edged my cunt with a toy. He demanded pictures as evidence too.

Once I was worked up, I popped on a hypnosis file. I’ve been intrigued with hypno for a while now. And I zoned out to a maid conditioning file. Once I came out of it, I deep cleaned our bathroom with a lot more enthusiasm than I usually would. I was dripping and horny the hole time and had to keep stopping so I could edge.

[subnea]

Part two. How my husband found me…

For those that didn’t read part one, I used an analogy about feeling like a dark empty house emotionally and sexually. I love analogies, they help me break down complicated feelings, and I’m able to visualize and process things easier.

So there I was, lost in my dark empty house, but for the first time in a long time the porch light was on. I could see my husband at the door waiting to find me. I went to greet him, and we quickly started fucking. He inched me through the front door and slapped me playfully as a test. I pulled him in closer kissing him. He was in the house and ready to find me. He grabbed and slapped my tits, then stretched and tortured my nipples. He loves playing with them, and I was a good girl and took the abuse embracing my role as his play thing. He suddenly hit me harder across the face. I gasped, but he struck me almost immediately again. “Say thank you…” he reminded me. “Thank you” I quickly repeated to him through gasps of pain… he hit me harder… “thank you” remembering my manners… harder again “thank you” my face was so sore but he kept going. “Each time I hit you, you get wetter, did you know that?” He pointed out. I just mumbled “yes” back to him. I realized I’d handed him the key to the first room. He now had full access to my masochist room.

“When did you last cum” he asked. “I can’t remember, a long time ago” I replied. It had been about three months, not because of any kinky denial, but because of a lack of desire on my part. “I don’t really care, you know that?” He stated. “I know”, inside I was a little hurt, I wanted to want to cum, I wanted to feel that desire again… I held onto the key for that door a little tighter. “All that matters, is that your holes are available for me to dump my cum in, that’s all you’re useful for”. He was hitting a nerve, what about my pleasure I thought.

Bored, he left me in that room and started knocking at another door. I peeked around the corner to see what he was doing. “You’re getting desperate aren’t you slut?” I couldn’t help myself, like a lost puppy I followed down the hall. “Show me what a pathetic whore you are” oh no, it’s the humiliation room. I couldn’t stop myself and started humping his cock trying to feel him deeper in me. “Good girl, you’re such a needy bitch.” “I want to cum” I blurted out. “No you don’t” he replied. “I don’t?” I asked. “No you just want me to cum remember?” He had baited me and meanwhile I’d left the door wide open to the denial room. He was right though. Even through the last few months, I always tried to make sure he was satisfied, libido or not. I was here to serve him.

“This is how you are meant to be… desperate and dripping, ready for me to use… just three holes for my cock.” He told me. “Mmm, I miss being your toy, it’s what I was made for” I replied. “And if I don’t like your hole, I’ll find another won’t I?” Oh no, I’m not ready for this I was thinking. I’m not a cuckquean any more. You can’t have this key, the room is getting remodeled into something else, I thought. Unaware of my internal struggle, he continued… “You’re my plan B, always a needy hole when I have no tighter, hotter, younger choice”, he was fucking me but he seemed to be somewhere else, “no, no, no” I said in a tiny voice. I want to be his only, I thought. Come back to me, who is he thinking of? And almost like he read my mind, he listed the names of his exes and everything he loved and missed about their bodies. I started sobbing, I’m still not sure if he knew I was crying. Inside I was curled up clutching the key to that room. I didn’t want to give it up, but somehow he’s in here anyway invading the room. I wouldn’t open my eyes, I didn’t want to see. “I’d take anyone over you right now, you know that?” I could only whisper a pleading “no”. “No?” He asked in fake confusion, knowing he already had me. “But you’re dripping wet” he slowly thrust his cock in me as if to illustrate his point. Fuck… my thoughts went silent and my emotions calm. I realized how wet and turned on I was. “Your cunt is telling me you want it.” I lay still for for a few moments. He felt so good. I embraced the shame, humiliation, my insecurities. My mind finally quiet, my cunt throbbing. I finally let go of the key, “yes” I replied, still a little uncertain. “You want me to spoil someone else” he told me, “yes” I replied, this time more certain. “You want her to cum on my cock while you’re denied” … “Yes!”. “You want to suck her cum off my cock and lick my cum out of her pussy” … yes yes yes!

I opened my eyes, he hadn’t touched the key, he didn’t need it, he’d already taken up residence in that room, pictures of his ladies are all over my walls, as he sits on a chair in the middle of the room. He never needed my silly keys, he just loaned me some spare ones while I was healing. He owns the house that is me. He changes me as he sees fit, sometimes as subtlety as planting a seed that he grows and nurtures into a houseplant. Other times he brutally knocks down walls to make me more pleasing to him. He diligently performs all the care and maintenance to keep me safe and sound. He is my owner and I am his property.

[subnea]

A little update as to where we are at. Juliette and husband basically decided to “take a break”, a few weeks ago. Then they proceeded to block each other on all the things. So that’s completely over. I was pretty sad about this, because there was a lot of potential between her and I to build something, but ultimately there was a mismatch in needs and it imploded before it could progress towards anything.

In the meantime he expanded his online dating presence and joined another couple of apps. A local lady started chatting to him and he’s had three dates with her. She seems sweet. There’s zero cucky feels right now. And I’m likely to just give them a lot of space. I’ll call her Raven, I’m not sure I’ll have any exciting stories to tell though.

So I’ll likely just carry on here with my little reblogs and mini fantasy stories.

[subnea]

It’s looking like Juliette is no longer interested 🙁

I really feel for my husband when his relationships end. I’m a bit of an empath type human, so I tend to absorb the feelings around me. Maybe that’s why I’m a cuckquean? Anyway, my current job is to remind him he’s very much wanted and needed.

[subnea]

A little context here... 1. I had been talking about working hard at my business and that he should see some extra money from it. 2. I moved countries to marry him, which is why I say he shipped me in. 3. His lady, Summer lives very far away, and that is who he refers to here.

So this was the most intense mind fuck he’s ever given me. He hit my cuckquean fetish, basically made me feel like a disposable object, and also played with my financial submission (I’m essentially a pay pig, I don’t like that term though, I’ll have to think of a better one, unless anyone here has any ideas?) This all sent me in a very heady spiral. I was on my own when he sent these and I was left in a puddle, it was like I could physically feel the weight of my inner cuckquean crushing me, it’s the most intense subspace/headspace/trance I’d ever experienced.