mother do you see me? can you hear the war in my mind?
Sometimes I catch your eye and your face is pained. Am I feeling okay?-you ask.
if I told you this body never felt like my own, only a vessel to which my soul was trapped in would you dismiss it? I am your forever daughter never your son. Knowing this cuts deep a wound that will never heal. I can’t do this to you.
mother hold me, please, don’t let me go, hold me like im your baby again. I will always be yours but you won’t always be here. Oh why can’t you live forever? Why can’t we stay like this? My thin arms around your neck, our hearts beating together in that familiar song like I did after I took my first breath as you held my tiny hand. It took half your life away to give me mine. And I am so endlessly thankful but I’m hurting because this body isn’t mine.