My bratty tank is done! Ravelry notes on this are linked here, it was quite a journey. This is the first improvised garment of this kind I've done - I suppose my cardi technically was but even then I took the construction from a YouTube video. Here I completely made it up based on some digging around on old blogs, I frogged the neckline several times only to decide the version I initially knitted dug into my neck BC I knitted my icord edge on the back on too tight a tension, I knit my first icord edge and my first plain icord too
There are a lot of weird emotions around this project
I've been working on it while a lot of stuff has happened in my life. And idk, this month has been a strange one, I wish I felt happier right now. Sometimes I run my fingers over my unkillable tattoo and remind myself exactly why I got it 💚
I'm not entirely a summer person, but embracing this whole brat summer thing has definitely made me more positive considering. As a whole, I want to be more unapologetically myself and unapologetically this big, dyke, individual and represent myself honestly - I cut all my hair off while knitting this and that's a part of that, but I also think knitting something bright green and see through, something that when I told ppl it was going to be a tank top they were surprised, something that ppl don't expect to be knitted I suppose it maybe makes me feel that way too.
This tank top makes me realise I'm capable of making things that are beautiful - and while my value is not linked to what I create, idk, it does remind me that I should love myself and treat myself with the respect I would give an artist I love and admire. I deserve reverence from myself and to be honest I don't think I've granted myself that self love in a long time.
But it's a difficult thing to challenge
Often ppl talk about being a selfish knitter ... Many of the projects I've done this year have not been for myself and have then also been for ppl who left my life soon after the projects were completed. There's a kind of hole that leaves that hurts, but I realised I was maybe giving a lot of love away when I rarely complete things made for myself, idk what that means metaphorically but here we are.
I don't know if I can say truthfully that this project has made me love myself, but I think it's helped me begin the process
Who knows, maybe it's just a tank top, and my boobs look quite good in it.
