#queer loving

[millyrockcentral]

I get sad everytime “Red Dirt” is forgotten when people bring up Walton Goggin’s old movie roles

[soafricane]

pink like the inside of your...

[eatmangoesnekkid]

Loving my Womb and Other Women.

Most of my questions tend to come from heterosexual white women, which is cool, as I deeply appreciate anyone who reads my blog and asks questions but I love when women of color, especially queer women of color,  write me. It makes my heart sing! Recently I was written by a “SISTA” in all caps too who is “not with all this gay shit!” I am not going to post her question and concern because she said some things in her letter that I don’t have any interest in sharing on MY blog. Perhaps you will have some idea after reading my response to her. Here we (g)r (o)w.

Dear Black Nationalist Goddess, Thank you for your question, my love.

I take my cues from my mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, and neighbors. Black women have coddled, supported, and “raised up” Black men at the expense of themselves. I have seen Black women who literally and figuratively handicapped Black men and boys from evolving into healers and lovers, and doing everything to save them. The Black community tells Black women (“the GREAT MOTHER” ) that in order to be authentic SISTAS, we must stand *behind* “OUR” Black men, even when our lives and hearts suffer, and the lack of attention on ourselves turns into disease in our bodies. I have seen the self-neglect of my mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, and neighbors who gave all that had and were left broken to pieces. They believed in love, but disregarded themselves in that picture.

The greater point is that when ANY WOMAN gives all of herself away, reduces her divine self to caretaker ONLY, takes permanent attention away from her womb-the source of ALL creation and sacred mysteries-she is not only doing a disservice to herself, but also to our planet and humanity at large. My loyalty lies somewhere between my sweet pussy and nature…for these things are the roots of existence in MY life. We have seen WHERE loyalty and service to Black men have led us. And if you haven’t seen it, go ask your auntie! Nothing transformative EVER comes from women not honoring ourselves and each other. Nothing loving comes patriarchal connections and thought processing. I mean, really..when I think about my mothers, aunts, female cousins, sisters, and all, I see that this loyalty has not led to any gain or enlightment. Therefore, I am trying something different. Connecting with my womb and turning my interest into myself and other women…. and my LOVE and means of loving heal ALL PEOPLE.  I am now the center in this galaxy, the shiny stars I am made of….and you should consider being the center in yours too. Also being gay is cool for those who are, but I am not gay.  The abundance that rests between my thighs is limitless possibility, "an infinite speed of [re-]birth and disappearance." The closest expressions it can be named are love or chaos…..you choose. Cheers, India xoxo

foto by India Ame’ye

“Chaos is defined not so much by its disorder as by the infinite speed with which every form taking shape in it vanishes. It is a void that is not a nothingness but a virtual, containing all possible particles and drawing out all possible forms, which spring up only to disappear immediately, without consistency or reference, without consequence. Chaos is an infinite speed of birth and disappearance.”—Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari, What is Philosophy?