#queerttc

[hopersanonynous]

I want to have a baby.

I think I’m afraid if I talk about all of this openly, that the universe won’t let me have it. That the spotlight will be on me, and the universe will remember that I don’t deserve something so good and beautiful.

But I can’t keep everything inside either. My thoughts come back to this process and everything I need to do to be successful at least a thousand times a day.

I have an amazing partner, who listens endlessly and wants this as much as I do. But there’s also only so many times I can repeat the same thought out loud in the vacuum of our living room.

So, here I am. That’s what this blog is. My thoughts, all one thousand every day. (Jk, maybe not that many.) Here in the open.

May the universe be kind and merciful.

[tryingforbabykavanaugh]

Introduction!

Hi all! My name is Aura and my husband and I will begin TTC baby #1 in the next few months. A little bit about ourselves:

We have been together about five years. We got married on 12/24/18 and we have both known we wanted children for years now. I am divorced and TTC with my ex for over a year, resulting in reoccurring miscarriages. I have PCOS and other metabolic syndromes. My husband's name is Toby and he is a trans man, so we will need to do things a little differently. Toby has two degrees and works as a supervisor in retail and I work for a major university. We have two dogs and six cats.

I think what hit us really hard is we are in California meeting our newborn niece. I was hit really hard by the fact that we don't have a child yet, but we so desperately want one. Holding that little squish makes me so happy and we can't wait until we have one of our own. 💖

I've been working on losing weight and getting more healthy. My cycles have been more regular, but longish (35-38 days, lasting 7 days). When TTC with my ex, my OPKs were fairly strong, so I hope I will continue to ovulate appropriately.

We would love to find a sperm donor in our area so we don't have to pay loads of money every month. I hope we don't need to go the IUI/IVF route as my insurance doesn't cover fertility treatments. 🙄

Hopefully we will have a rainbow squish within the year! 💖

[hopersanonynous]

A small big deal 🤭

I restarted my metformin two days ago now that I’m not sick (diarrhea and covid is a horrid combo). This morning, when I tested my LH, my premom app rated it a 0.2! And yes, that’s low, and for TTC means almost nothing, but that’s the first time I’ve ever tested higher than .0 or .1.

I also woke up with a raging migraine, which doesn’t sound great, but historically, my migraines are very related to shifts in hormones.

I’m wondering if the metformin is already helping to shift things a bit? I know it’s only been two days, so I’m not expecting miracles here, but it feels good to see *something*.