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Three Weeks Into Deployment [ Open Starter ]
Igraine had off the next day , and so she played the waiting game , sat inside her bottom bunk , curtains drawn as she slouched against the pillows she had put behind her , waiting for the appropriate time to try and call . Texts were nice , left her feeling okay with how things were , but she missed her family and friends . It wasn't easy being seven hours ahead of all of them , even if they worked night shift . So into the late hours of the night and early hours of the morning she watched her phone until she thought someone would answer .
She propped the phone against her shoulder , fidgeting with the blankets she did have . The dial tone was all she heard until voicemail .
❝ Hey , I just wanted to hear your voice , but I know you're busy . Um , just send me a text later , ❞ she rushed out . ❝ Things are fine here . It's not urgent . Actually don't worry about it . I'll try again next week . ❞
No sooner had the phone dropped onto the bed , she felt the vibration of it , hands scrambled to pick it up , quickly tapping accept with her thumb and putting it to her ear . She sighed in relief letting out a soft , ❝ Hey .❞
deployment starter » mutuals only
Iggy Hale Fashion Icon , clearly .
17. who does your muse wish they had said goodbye to, but didn’t?
There was a girl in school , a mean girl , who took her under her wing in her last two years . I have a whole hc written about Igraine’s lack of self identity and her struggle with her view on femininity especially being in the military . But the girl basically took her under her wing to be like , you can learn to do your makeup for fun . It was when she was a teengaer and trying to express herself and looking at magazines . Her mother never really taught her how to care for her curly hair or how to do skincare or makeup . This girl basically saw Igraine as a pet project , but they grew close .
Igraine ended up operating on her and she passed in the PTMC in a thread I have with Park the Shark . It was something very emotional with her , because it wasn’t actually a friendship , but it was one of the first times someone had shown her kindness .
sad headcanon q » @jabbotmd
25. does your muse recognize their faults, or do they have trouble with self-reflection?
25 ) In the moment if she’s in an argument I think it’s hard to recognize her faults . However , I will say she is very self aware of her faults outside of something immediate and I think that’s why she has a hard time opening up to people ! Why would they want to talk to or be with someone who she feels has come back different and messed up . She’s always on guard , she has strange habits , and isn’t always the most loving .
There are big moments though of self-reflection where she actively goes , I am not well and I need to try and fix this . It's one of the main reasons after she comes back from her third deployment she's going to go straight into therapy .
sad headcanon q » anonymous
13. how does your muse outwardly express their anger?
She is an angry cryer . She has thrown things , which is not healthy , at walls in her apartment . I have a little drabble somewhere of her night immediately after she was called into deployment and she basically trashed her entire closet and almost hurt herself while crying . It had a lot of big emotions . She is working very hard though on not being impulsive .
Anger directed at someone can come across as sharp and sarcastic . I have a thread with Pittnights where she’s basically getting held back from going off on the candy striper who has now become one of her antagonists . She’s a ‘yelling’ type person and will just say it like it is and eventually she just explodes , and will get up in the persons space if she feels like it's warranted, which is not always safe . She can't help but yell her feelings a lot of times . She is flawed .
sad headcanon q » @jabbotmd
20. what is something your muse wants to tell others, but is too afraid to? & 21. how hard is it for your muse to open up to others? what holds them back?
20) Igraine is afraid to tell people that even though she’s afraid of deployment because of who she’s afraid she’s coming back as , she enjoys the fight , as in the high stress environment . She’s never really transitioned from civilian life because of where she’s working . It’s always high stress . Igraine enjoys being needed , because she doesn’t ever think she’ll be ‘wanted’.
21) It’s extremely difficult , because it can either be a floodgate or she doesn’t say a word . It probably took her months to open up to Andrea and she loves her , but because of her not having been in the military , there are some things she just doesn’t tell her . It’s not because she doesn’t feel safe with her , but certain things people are not going to understand and that’s okay . I think she has a different relationship with Dylan and it was easier telling her about the dark parts of herself that even Igraine is scared of and not feel judged , because Dylan has seen some shit .
New people besides established relationships is going to be harder , because now she’s opened up to her core people and to let someone else in to see how much of a mess she feels is very shameful to Igraine .
sad headcanon q » @there-is-always-a-place-for-you
24. does your muse lean more toward “forgive and forget” or “resent and remember?”
Igraine is a forgiving person . You could do her wrong and if she loves you and considers you one of her people , then yes . I personally would love to see her grow a backbone , at some point and depending on what it is . People have peaced out on her and left her and she still allows them back into her life , because if she considers them worthy of her love and attention then that’s all that matters . However , with this she does have boundaries . She will put down things , like her brother isn’t allowed to know where she lives ( he does find out ) because he was one of her childhood abusers and he is an addict , but she still brings him food and shit .
Her mother and father could be mean to her and walk into her life and she isn’t currently strong enough not to tell them they need to leave . I honestly could see her after a few years after hanging out with Weylen being less forgiving to her parents for their faults and standing up for herself . Especially after seeing his family and the strong bonds they have forged .
sad headcanon q » @goodn1ghtnurse