The fire
//A drabble requested by anonymus a while ago...will be pretty angsty and longish. It's going under read-more...It's about Ada, and if you have any idea about her backstory you probably already know what this is then. D: If not...run. While you still can fucking run.It came out less angsty then I wanted...mostly because wasn't in an angst mood but I left that poor anon waiting a week...
not that this is relative but Ada fucking hates me for making her tell me enough about this to write it
Emaline just sighed, pausing her work for a moment to tilt the girls head back down "Beauty takes patience, kleines mädchen. You're the one that asked me to do this. And it hasn't been two hours, it's barely been thirty minutes."
Ada opened her mouth to protest about how she was not a little girl, but that kind of defeated the purpose. And she was behaving a little immaturely. "Sorry. I guess I'm kind of nervous."
The brunette smiled down at her as she began twisting her hair into a braid on the other side of her head. "There's no need for you to be nervous, Ada. You draw better the Leonardo da Vinci, or Vincent Vango even, you'll definitely make it into that school of yours."
"I am not better then Vango." Ada sighed, leaning back against the pregnant woman. "I'm still in highschool, I'm just a beginner, there's a chance they won't want me there and if they don't then I wouldn't have been good enough to--"
"No." Emaline stated forcefully, her tone leaving no room for discussion "Ada Kaufmann you never say that. Just because a school won't let you in, and I'm not saying it won't, but even if it doesn't that does not mean you aren't good enough. That means that they're to stupid to see all the wonderfulness that is you."
Ada doesn't say anything to that after a while, just listening to her stepmother talk about how excited she was about the baby. The woman had caved and asked to see the gender, and when she did she'd cried. Emaline talked about how nice it would be to have another little girl around, since the only children she'd ever given birth to were boys, and how Ada would finally have someone to give those old porcelain dolls that creeped her out. By the time that she finished Ada's hair they'd talked about names for the girl and had decided that she'd be called Carlee, after Emaline's Grandmother.
"Hey, Mom!?" Charlie--Ada's olderbrother-- shouted, stopping when he saw the woman and pulling her up off of the couch. The boy pushed back his dark hair and bit his lip. "I need to talk to you."
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"What do you mean I can't go to the interview!?" Ada screamed, clenching her fists together.
"Ada, I'm sure they'll understan--" Frederich, her Father, tried, wincing when her voice cut him off a second later.
"I've already canceled it once for Phillips freaking Kindergarten graduation, and you think they'll understand if I do it for Charlie's High School one!? If I don't go then I won't be able to get in, at all!"
"Look, there are other schools that you can apply too. I'm sure any of them would be just as good as West Chester. Screaming is not going to change anything, you have to be at your brothers graduation. We're a family and families stick together."
Ada rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, her anger building steadily "Oh, like he was supposed to graduate last year? How had that turned out again?"
"ADA!"
"It's not like it's not true! I've worked so hard for that interview, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity! I shouldn't have to miss it for a stupid ass graduation that my fucking brother's gonna be in! Charlie and I aren't even really related, he's just my step-brother!" Ada winced inwardly when she stated that, but didn't make any move to take it back. She'd worked so hard to get there, and no other good schools offered the scholarships she needed.
"Ada Kaufmann watch your language and your what your saying if you plan on leaving this house at all this month." Emaline snapped, sending an apologetic glance at her son, who just shrugged. They all knew how explosive Ada got when...well...there's too many instances to list. Phillip had got so used to it he was just sitting in the floor, pushing his red toy train around and ignoring the fight that was breaking out.
"You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real mother! You're just the whore that broke up my parent's marriage!" Ada spat, immediately wishing she could hit the backspace button and retake everything she'd said. Emaline's face filled with so much hurt...The teen turned and ran upstairs, opening her room and lighting one of the candles, she preferred them to artificial light unless she was drawing.
The red-haired girl picked up her phone and sent a quick text to one of her friends asking if she could come over. When she got the okay she threw some crap into a bag, not noticing what it was really, and climbed out the window. If she didn't act quickly then her Dad would come upstairs and try to guilt trip her into something.
She regretted what she said, really, she just really wanted to go to that interview...and she wouldn't be able to face her family for a while. And they definitely wouldn't want to see her.
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Ada walked from Clause's house, towards her own. Her smile that had been plastered on her face after the interview had pretty much disappeared, when she remembered her family...although, wouldn't they be happy she'd got accepted into the school? Surely they wouldn't be so mad they'd keep her from going...and they wouldn't be able to. They try and she'll just as for a dorm room and board there. She's sixteen, so she could make that decision.
The girl brushed her hair back and sighed, wrinkling her nose when a smell hit her. Were the neighbors having a bonfire again? The whole area reeked of...smoke.
Her green eyes widened when she got close enough to the house to see the flashing lights, dropping her bag and breaking into a run. "Nonononononononono!" She repeated in a fast mantra. No. Please, dear god no....they'd be alright. Maybe they hadn't been anywhere near the house. They had to be alright.
"Dad! Mami!?" Ada screamed, stopping in front of the house for a second, a look of horror covering her face. Everything was engulphed in flames, firemen were hosing it down but there was no way...if anyone had been inside the house...Ada broke into a run again, sprinting towards the house only to be stopped by one of the firefighters before she could get anywhere near it. "Let me go! LET ME GO THEY MIGHT BE IN THERE! LET GO OF ME!" She screamed until her voice went hoarse, trying to claw her way out of his grasp.
If they hadn't been in the house then wouldn't they be near her by now? Wouldn't someone have told them where she was and they'd be here and...Ada's thoughts broke off. She wasn't sure exactly what was happening around her. She remembers a prick in her neck...a feeling of warmth, waking up (when did she fall asleep though?) in a unfamiliar car, a man telling her how sorry he was and informing her that the cause of the fire was a candle and it had spread so quickly...they hadn't had time to get out so they'd just...
But it was all so hazy. None of this was real. None of this could really be happening. It felt more like a nightmare then anything. Any moment she would wake up and Emaline would be cooking that American breakfast she likes making and Ada would be home. Everything would be normal again. She just had to wake up.
Except she wasn't going to wake up. This wasn't a dream. Her family was gone, they'd...they were gone and they weren't going to come back. And it was her fault. The causeIf she'd blew out that freaking candle, or locked the dog up, or just went to that damn graduation....
But she didn't. And now Ada was alone. And she'd always be alone, anytime she got near anyone she hurt them and they...they last thing she'd said to her step mother...oh god the last thing she said was calling her a whore. The last words any of them had heard her say was probably the harshest thing she'd ever said to any of them.
Ada stayed with the man for a while while he talked to some people, something about funeral arrangements. She was pretty sure she heard the words Mother and Japan somewhere in there as well. Ada didn't really pay attention. She just sat with her knees pressed against her chest for a few days, going through the motions and feeling dead inside. She didn't even cry...it was almost like she'd died in the fire with them too.
She didn't cry at the funeral, when the caskets were lowered, and she didn't cry when she recited the speech that man (who was he again? A social worker, maybe? Distant family member? She didn't care either way.) gave her. Ada didn't cry for almost two weeks, when they'd found something in the rubble of the house.
It was small and what wasn't blackened from the fire was a color that once was bright red but now resembled a rusty brown, but it was entirely recognizable. It was Phillips toy train, the one he took everywhere. The toy she'd given him for his birthday and his eyes had lit up and he'd hugged her and told her he was gonna be a conductor and...
Ada wasn't aware that she'd started sobbing until her knees hit the floor. Because Phillip wasn't going to be a conductor, he wasn't ever going to grow up and fall in love, he'd never go to the first grade and he'd never get married. Her sister was never going to be born ever, the world didn't even recognize Carlee as a real person, even though she was almost nine months old in the womb. And it was all her fault.
She'd murdered her family, whether she'd meant to or not. And she was going to have to live with that for the rest of her life. She wished that she was the one who was dead instead, she certainly deserved it.