#quietlyblogging

[insideunwrittenthings]

2015: A TINY REVIEW

2015 was the year i jumped ship and moved to the states. and while it wasn’t what i thought it would be (it never will till i becoming a working songwriter really) i’m really happy for all the things that did happen. if i could name this year the year of anything, it was the year of ‘tools'. by that i feel like it’s equipped me with life, career and adulthood’s necessary evils and i feel more prepared than ever to face the impending year. bring it on bit- 2016. but the biggest lesson i learnt this year above all was permission. the permission to be who i am and do what i love. it hit me the other night with my ny girls that I’m suddenly around people who are genuinely so supportive and open minded and i felt like i could be both anything i wanted and myself. i didn’t realise how much of that i needed. despite my alien status here, i don’t feel like one. and that is for the first time ever. i no longer feel like apologising for myself anymore and that is a new level of freedom i didn't know existed. new york and the people in it are kinda awesome like that. so thank you 2015. you weren’t what i thought you would be, but you were what i didn’t realise i desperately needed. i'm prepared not just for 2016, but beyond. let’s do this.

love and peace sign, maia

[insideunwrittenthings]

WHERE ALL THE SIGNS POINT TO

17.10.15

so i'm writing this blog post even though i really should start emailing people and learn how to network and hustle. i've been feeling a little under for a few days, just feeling very unsure of myself. i'm not sure what i'm expecting but i guess that's the problem when you're pretty much working on your own, your own thoughts are what will guide or lead you astray. i just went to pick up an asos order which was hilariously big even though it just had a jacket inside (a gift from home, i can't let myself afford such nice things just yet!). it was nice to get outside my tiny bedroom even for just a few minutes. a few steps out and i realised how alone i had been feeling.  it is usually something i embrace, i like my own company, we should all learn to, but i realised how very disconnected i might have been feeling. I was miffy for all of a minute till my extroverted nature (surprise surprise) was quickly impacted by the tall skyscrapers i could see in the not too far distance. looking up, i decided that if i was going to feel alone anywhere, than this city was where i wanted to feel it. happy points collected. i got to the post office and picked up my parcel, silently whoopee'ing when they found my name since I was going sans tracking information (what up USPS!). as i walked out with that huge box under one arm, brian mcknight's 'win' crept through my earphones. peace. a few more happy points. it's not the most out of the blue of signs as it's a downloaded mp3 on my phone but in that mood, I really listened. "Upon myself I must depend" . thank you B. I then decided I was going to stop by the cake shop in hopes of finding a belated moon cake (i know, it's been 2 weeks already.. heh heh). walking down the familiar path I suddenly had an urge to look up. and on the high walls: FORWARD. a surge of happiness filled me. i know, how cheesy, but i just wasn't expecting it. i've lived here for 6 months now and never noticed that word there before. i'm usually lazy/apprehensive about whipping my phone out and snapping photos (something i need to stop feeling, i want to be a blogger dammit) but in that moment, i had that f*** it feeling - i need a photo of this. I took a good few snaps, stepped along and took a few more, and all the while giving no craps about what people around me thought. it may have looked like any other afternoon, but to me there was something worth taking a photo of and that is a feeling i'm going to remember next time i feel silly about getting my camera out or heck, doing anything what i want to do! gawd, i just tangented. oops. back to it..i merrily walked towards the cake shop still hoping for that elusive moon cake. no dice. but even better (and again unexpectedly), jay chow's 'simple love' was playing. i never expect to hear something i know around Chinatown let alone something I love. I almost wanted to burst into tears. luckily i'm not that dramatic, i just grinned like an idiot with my huge box on my hip, practically spinning on the spot scanning the sweet treats. high on this beloved tune and all the moments before, i thought to myself: i came to the right place. and i still think it. love and peace sign, maia

[insideunwrittenthings]

START

hey may, it's springtime again. it's been awhile since my last post and much has happened since my silly musings about snow. I found an apartment, started a job, made some awesome friends, gained a cool roommate and.. I got started. It's been almost 9 weeks since I've landed here and it's been kinda amazing. Not to say that every day has been exciting as such, or even great, but it's just been a feeling of yes, this feels right. As all the life stuff is settling down, it's time to knuckle down and get my jams on the road. Pictured above is The Bitter End, 4/11/15, the first place I decided to play at. And holy mother of crap, I was nervous. Not just because it was my first time there, but because I already had heard of this place having watched vintage Lady Gaga play here before she was gaga. shit. It had been weeks since moving here that I had to kick myself up the arse and tell myself it was time to play and stop thinking so damn much. So here we go, whether it's going to be wrong or right, good or bad, it doesn't matter. Just, start.

[insideunwrittenthings]

SNOW

Warning: Aussies is in the snow will take pictures of everything. That's exactly how I felt when I walked around in my first few days in NY. It was so pretty.

When there's snow, every angle looked so nice, those movie scenes aren't exaggerating.. It was a big reminder that I was definitely far from home. While it's been so much colder than I'm used to, I've been quite grateful for how long winter has prolonged here in New York since I got to catch one day of it falling on the second day I was here. And while I was improperly dressed (which meant that yes, I did fall over once), I loved that I had snow falling on my face, ice drops in my hair and white footprints following me. Though I am secretly glad that I only had it for a day and feel pretty darn lucky at the thought. Till next year..!

[insideunwrittenthings]

HI 2015

18.1.15

Oh look, a selfie. That's kinda rare for me but I actually want to change that this year. Not because I'm extra into myself this year (rofl) but because I've always been so camera shy that I really would like to change that. Aaand I've already diverged off topic.. I thought I was going to throw the towel in when it came to this blog but today I kinda realised I still want this little place hanging around. My mindset has changed drastically in the last few months (thanks America) but it might be more accurate to say that it's gone back to where it should be, but version 2.0 this time.  So where has it gone back to? My first ever, ever love, music. I started allowing myself to pursue it a few years back now and starting from scratch as an adult was a much bigger task than I initially thought. Not just the lack of experience and skillset (compared to even that of a teenager) but the mindset. I went from being an academically driven girl to a girl realising she did it because it was so externally rewarding and so fitting in to her surrounding universe. So from that to who I see myself as now, a creative, has been a long and unexpected shift and process.    I sort of fell out of love of music for awhile there. Never completely, but it became a ritual. Add to that were some negative people that really impacted me and my view on it and I'm glad to say that I'm now rid of them. In that mean time, I fell in love with blogs. How these girls (and I say girls because 100% of the blogs I follow are by these beautiful, smart, creative babes) run these thoughtful and inspiring, personalised spaces was and is really something to me. Many of them are carving out a career out of it regardless of the controversy (which I honestly scoff at - every industry has it's honest and dishonest folk) and to me that is inspiring. I definitely had very little influence from successful andcreative people growing up so I'm glad for such industries to be strengthening. But that was my case in point, these girls express who they are and have their own way of doing things differently. They put on makeup for the love and fun of it, they wear what they want because that's who they are, and discovering those sorts of blogs was such a source of inspiration during that time.  But v2.0 me, the music girl, is back. I finally feel like I might really have something to share and instead of just worrying about the career part. (And so that bloody should be.) And I'd like this space to be a part of that as a sort of visual diary and letterbox of notes and tidbits as I go along. Gonna start small and aim for two posts a week.

[insideunwrittenthings]

THE STREETS OF NY #1: CENTRAL PARK + LOWER MANHATTAN

11.11.14

29/09 was my first proper touristy day in the big apple and the first stop was Central Park. Wowser, is that a big park. I thought it'd be some cute little garden as opposed to the mammoth piece of land that it turned out to be. Beautiful and big enough that I got lost in it. My first trail was towards Union Square and go down West Village. Lucky missglamorazzi had just uploaded her 50 Things I love about New York video which really helped me get some direction. My first pit stop was at The Chelsea Commons and the girl was right, that avocado toast was good. I walked towards Union Square (and even saw Jamie Oliver!) taking whichever road and loved just being a part of it. People are really right when they say that there is something happening in every corner in NY - I felt like every street was hiding a hole in a wall. Lower Manhattan definitely had this cool but warm sort of vibe where the people were so nice and the cultural side really shone through. 

My plan was to explore Soho/West Village by the evening and end up at The Blue Note but my curiosity made me want to pass that famous jazz club before heading further south. And what a bloody good decision it was. As I passed the Blue Note I decided to check who was playing that night. Smack my brain, it was Jamie Cullum. I don't know much about jazz, but I know Jamie Cullum! While I feared of losing time if I was to wait in line from then as I only had 3 days to explore the city, my good sense told me to stay. This is what I love about New York, those spontaneous moments when you get to experience something unexpected. JC had only announced the show a week prior, so I was extremely lucky to be around 7th in line. Tickets were only $50 (cheap to an Aussie!) and the day earlier I was given $50 extra when I received my change at Smorgsburg (didn't realise till after, really!) so the choice was made for me. And damn, great choice. Jamie Cullum was extremely charming on stage and was brilliant as expected.  What I also loved was just hanging with the locals outside and chatting with an Aussie mother and daughter for an hour before the show. Perks of travelling alone. I also ended up passing by Shake Shack (and didn't get fries, what!) and catching the subway to get home by around 11pm by myself, something I was equal parts proud and relieved about. But after one day, my heart already felt full and in love with NYC.

(PS 'scuse my scattered photos, I really can't believe how scattered my shots were that day..)

[insideunwrittenthings]

NEW YORK, FINALLY.

8.11.14

If there's one city in the world that I've dreamed of going, it was New York. I'm definitely not alone on that one but there is something about this city that has always perked up my doggy ears. I was scared and excited for it, it seemed just too cool for this daggy girl but way too striking to ever miss out. So many of the things I love come from here: the music, the outlook, the fashion, everything. This was really what I anticipated most in my trip and I thank God I added it to the list.

I stayed at a cousin's place in The Bronx which sounds scarier than it was (well, at least for my short six day trip) but I didn't get to see the city till two nights later after a late night flight in and some family festivities. While I loved it those few days of waiting gave me some bloody itchy feet to finally see those city neons. But 48 hours later, there I stood in the middle of Time Square. Finally. I won't ever forget the feeling of looking up at those lights and feeling so lifted by them. I was actually there, the place my cheesy heart has dreamed of. And I honestly couldn't believe it. NY, you. NOTES: LOCATION, VIEW OF MANHATTAN IN BROOKLYN, BY THE PIERS // TIMES SQUARE

[insideunwrittenthings]

SELF PORTRAIT

5.11.14

When I was flicking through my travel photos, this was one that kinda made me stop a little. I know, it's a photo of me, but as a selfie scaredy-cat it was one of the few where I was actually in. When I saw it, it really clicked inside me how much I had changed, or more accurately, found and became myself. There's nothing special about the photo, heck it's even pretty blurry, but to me it really shows that who I am inside is coming, or.. has come out. From what I'm wearing, holding (I do mean the camera more but yes, even that MAC bag, opps), where I'm standing and even what I'm doing, these were all things I was once afraid of. It sounds almost kinda preposterous but I once feared even being the slightest inch different ot my environment to really embacing and wanting that now. Not to say that I'm Lady Gaga is the crowd, but I'm me. And I finally feel like that's really becoming true.