I'm too lazy to look up the number, but top 3 dog breeds, just to see what happens. :p You have my permission to make up some if you can't think of any.
1. The German Shepherd of Souls. So fluffy! So obedient! Except when you ask it not to hypnotise the growing crowd of strangers outside your house, chanting steadily more elaborate prayers to the greater glory of your dog. It doesn’t like that. That’s why this entry is being written from inside my own cupboard. Can I come out yet?
…I think the growl means no.
2. The Yorkshire Terror. Very small, very cute, very enlightened. Has transcended both natural and human laws. Enjoys playing with advanced philosophy and string theory. Also enjoys playing with string theorists. They don’t. Banned from most universities, and all of southern Europe.
3. King Charles Spaniel. Insists it has the divine right to rule. Very very cute, if it wouldn’t insist on the daily attempts at a military coup. But just look at those adorable ears! Ah, fuck, it’s invaded the kitchen with an army from the Netherlands.