Was Daenerys a slave when given to Drogo for marriage?
Kelsey...
No.
Daenerys had no say in her marriage, her marriage was made without her input, and she was a victim of marital rape. That is horrific, but it is not the same as being enslaved. It is also not terribly different from how other women of her class have had their own marriages handled. Catelyn and Lysa Tully were both married for the rebellion to get Tully soldiers (and this after Lysa’s own father had forcibly aborted her pregnancy). Cersei was happy to marry Robert … and he proved to be an abusive drunk who raped her. Sansa was married to Tyrion against her will. Pretty much every noble in Westeros is married to a person selected by his or her parents — their fathers, in most cases — and they’re expected to buck up and deal with it. It is almost always for the same reason Dany was married to Drogo, i.e. a transaction for needed or wanted resources and political alliances.
It is often not pleasant, to put it lightly. But it is not slavery.
The imagery that sticks in Dany’s case is the collar she wears when she meets Drogo.
When Dany’s servants at Illyrio’s manse are bathing her, one of them says:
“Drogo is so rich that even his slaves wear golden collars.”
Later on, Dany is getting dressed to meet Drogo:
The girl slid the gilded sandals onto her feet, while the old woman fixed the tiara in her hair, and slid golden bracelets crusted with amethysts around her wrists. Last of all came the collar, a heavy golden torc emblazoned with ancient Valyrian glyphs.
“Now you look all a princess,” the girl said breathlessly when they were done. Dany glanced at her image in the silvered looking glass that Illyrio had so thoughtfully provided. A princess, she thought, but she remembered what the girl had said, how Khal Drogo was so rich even his slaves wore golden collars. She felt a sudden chill, and gooseflesh pimpled her bare arms.
Later, when Dany and Viserys arrive to meet Drogo:
The curtains were thrown back, and a slave offered a hand to help Daenerys out. His collar, she noted, was ordinary bronze.
So Dany has heard a rumor about Drogo’s slaves — that they wear gold collars — and connects it to the decorative collar she wears to meet Drogo. It is Illyrio who has provided this collar, not Drogo. There is really nothing to suggest the collar she wears to the meeting is intended to have slavery connotations; it’s just an association she makes in her mind. Nothing is said about Drogo demanding that she wear a collar to the meeting. The girl dressing her doesn’t think she looks like a slave; she calls her a princess. The fact that it’s gold and has Valyrian glyphs suggests that it’s meant to show that Dany is, in fact, the real deal, by giving her ornaments that match the heritage Viserys and Illyrio claim she has. (She also wears a decorative collar later on in Qarth.)
And, to finish it off, Dany does encounter a slave of Drogo’s and, aha, no gold collar. Now, it’s possible that Drogo has gold-collared slaves squirreled away somewhere, but why wouldn’t one of them be there to meet Drogo’s future wife? What’s likelier: that Drogo does have gold-collared slaves (which Dany never sees) or that the rumor that Dany hears is, in fact, just a rumor?
Basically, what happened is that people see that someone said Drogo’s slaves wear gold collars, they see Dany wearing a gold collar to meet Drogo and they conclude that Dany is being sold like a slave to Drogo. Even though the rumor looks like it isn’t true, and even though Drogo is not the one who had Dany wear the collar, and even though the collar has other, obvious aesthetic signals. The imagery stuck.
Is Dany described as wearing a collar to her wedding? No: She’s wearing “wedding silks.” Is she described as wearing any sort of collar, gold or otherwise, after becoming khaleesi? Also no.
If Dany were actually the equivalent of a slave in Drogo’s khalasar, why isn’t she wearing a collar later on? Might it be that she is, in fact, not the equivalent of a slave at all, and that the association she made between a piece of jewelry and the collars she (erroneously) thought Drogo’s slaves wore was misplaced?
It’s amazing how much staying power a single piece of imagery can have, whether that’s what it’s actually saying or not.
Comment: This is a distinction without a difference. Dany was chattel, without choices and without rights.
Answer: That may be, but it isn’t unique to her. By all means, complain about the system, but if Dany’s marriage makes her the equivalent of a slave, then other women of her class who are also in abusive or unwanted marriages are the equivalents of slaves, too.That’s part of the point, in addition to the thing about the collars that ultimately, it turns out, isn’t actually comparable: The circumstances of Dany’s marriage are quite common, but she’s the only one people would say was in a slave-like position. Well, no. I don’t think her marital rape was any more or less traumatizing than Cersei’s, or that she had any less of a choice than Sansa, or that the army Drogo promised was any less real than the one Hoster Tully promised for Catelyn and Lysa’s marriages (after he’d forcibly aborted Lysa’s pregnancy). Ramsay forcibly married Lady Hornwood, locked her away to starve to death and she ended up eating her fingers — if it’s merely a game of who suffered more, I think she probably wins, no?