seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Portugal
seen from Switzerland
seen from Netherlands
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Netherlands
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
Yeah sex is great and all but have you ever wielded your unbridled spite in such a violently fluffy and comedic way that terminates a welsh robot?
(Explanation: I'm doing BSDopoly this round, and the rolls have been... unkind in giving me questionable or angsty things. I'm making it work, but I decided to slip a ship I don't normally write--Fitzpoe--into my current piece--ChuuRan--because reasons.)
D&D Quotes Without Context
Revenge of CHAOTICA!, Episode 3
"...and that's how it all happened." Fiver finishes his exposition to the Lumbarans. "Fiver, there weren't any pineapples in that fight against the frost giants.” They just kind of look at you before the old Tabaxi woman in robes says, “I just asked if we could give you a place to stay for the night.” Thunderchild: “Ignore him, he's in love with the sound of his own voice. Actually as a cleric, he has probably married himself to the sound of his own voice. Probably as some sort of tax fraud.” Fiver: "No, but for tax purposes Katt needs 24 hour medical care and Robbins is seven people.” "Great, you creeped the old woman out. That is a new record on creeping out one of the locals.” Thunderchild: “Also Amber is legally registered as a combine harvester. Because reasons.” Amber: ”You better be joking about that one or I will use my new sword as a thresher on you." Thunderchild: One of the more subtle aspects of successful pirates is knowing how to navigate tax codes and contract law. Fiver: "Don't take it personally, it’s only to make sure you pass under emission standards, they're kind of sticklers for that on this planet. We're calling you a sports-utility warforged so they classify you as a light truck." "Giant space hamsters...I just know Tony the Fleshbender who lived 900 years ago is somehow behind these.” "Katt's good people, she's a little out of sorts lately because her girlfriend ascended to godhood. But deep down she's a sweet gal.” Moonpaw: "I'll have.....uh......Someone help me out here: I used to either get waited on or caught anything small and fast-moving.” "Okay," Katt says as she rejoins the others, "that's the glorious golden goofus taken care of. did I miss anything?” Thunderchild: “Moonpaw got ID'd and the party officially started apparently.” Amber goes over to the group. "We got sent a gay bar, guys. I hope this isn't a problem with any of you.” Moonpaw: "I don't care what kind of drink they serve.” "I don't believe in the greater good," Katt adds, pausing as if listening for something, then smiling at only party music. "Oh, I can get used to that.” Fiver casts Thaumaturgy to cause the ominous whispers of "The greater good" to echo in the distance.
Fiver: "Sorry Katt, the Incarnum pays me three copper every time I do that.” Katt: "The sad part is that they will do that.” Katt is very happy with the box housekeeping left for her. OOC: Query: Can I use the light spell as a laser pointer? Katt: "I call the pink one.” Moonpaw spends five minutes sniffing and circling the hamsters, before choosing one seemingly at random to ride tandem. "...I think I was out sick the day they were teaching about the wellspring in Seminary.” OOC: (And by "Out sick" we mean he got drunk and went cow tipping with the gang.) A small winged creature resembling a monkey with macaw wings crawls out of Thunderchild's bag and jostles with Robin for space on Thunderchild's Shoulder. Robbins: “Oi! Have-at-you! Hey!” Robbins commenses an epic slap fight before eventually conceding Wilsons shoulder rights Robbin “s:This-is-a-tree-and-this-is-another-tree.I-think-we-go-north-which-is-by-this-moss-which-is-on….A-tree!" Katt: ”Are swamps supposed to smell like a Jammerstop bidet?” Fiver: ”Don't sweat it, you were born domesticated, it will take time for your animal instincts to resurface.” "This-is-not-good. Nope. Definately-an-imbalance-in-the-natural-way-here. My-fairy-senses-are-very-uncomfortable-here.” The shadow clone falls over and holds up a lilly. Fiver: "But you know us rabbits, we're good at multiplying." Robbins: Gesturing at the swamp things “How-about-we-practice-our-division-and-subtraction?” “ALRIGHT-SECOND-GO.Plugging-my-nose!ATTTAACK!" GM: You remain thereal…. "I am de-thereal.” Fiver: ”Perhaps, but I am starting to think this corruption is being caused by deliberate Malice, and our wayward Leonine may have bit off more than he can chew.” Robbins: ”Ew-I-hope-he-didnt-try-eating-them.” GM OOC: Aight! Tonight’s gonna be fun if you’ve got a swamp thing fetish! OOC: So we shouldn't bring our evil here. OOC2: Like are we talking “DC Swamp Thing” or like “creature from the black lagoon” type swamp thing? Very difference fetishes. GM OOC: Yes. OOC2: So we're going to see a plant zombie making out with a fishman? OOC: The sequel to Shape of the Water the studio is too cowardly to let Del Toro make. OOC: Bugs Bunny is probably the pope of his church. Fiver: “The Owlin are ruthless robber barons, and also terrible, terrible wordsmiths.” OOC: Adam. Warren. This is a guy who looks at Chris Claremont and says “hold my beer.” And the result will be both way sleezier and more wholesome at the same time.
D&D Quotes Without Context
Ravenloft Edition, Invidia Arc part 3
You hear a loud knocking on the front door of the main hall. "YOO HOO! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!” "NO YOU DON’T!”
“Eddie, get into the maid outfit the tower of flesh had and tell him no one’s home.”
And suddenly, Poom is hiding.
“Hey. He’s having fun being whatever the fuck a chinchilla is.”
“Ominous giggling. The giggling of danger!”
"Can you prove that?” Marshal looks out the window, sees the guard who'd admitted them reduced to a grisly jack-in-the-box. ”Not anymore…"
Jonni spends several seconds feeling around. “S’okay. Fun bits are intact. They’re just felt now.”
"Time to follow the dominos. Stay on the path, no telling what mad toys lay off of it.” “There could be Zoids. Or even pogs.”
Poom: "I'm starting to get the feeling this should have been that domain where parents leave their kids in the woods.”
At this point the sweater becomes angry. "WEAR ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
"I have a humorous toy dagger, and I am not afraid to make squeaky noises with it!”
OOC: Hot pocket formation, proofed vs charmed.
Jonni casts create campfire 187 times.
“That fire is my girlfriend!”
You blast the councilor, which causes her to shift forms into a large humanoid dog with four arms, two smaller human like arms, and two massive pincers. Poom: "Huh, looks my Great Uncle Tendon-Flayer.” Nyx: "Remind me to avoid your family reunions.” As he makes his announcement, marshal's helm is swapped out between frames, resembling instead a bone-hued mask. [insert Jason gif] Poom: "And now Marshal is Cousin Gruntsalot.”
Jonni: “Oh, when New Eddie goes full Anakin, that’s fine. But Jonni wants to kill just one…” Nyx: ”These aren't kids, Jonni. They are disguised demons.” Irost: ”Aren't all kids..?” Nyx: ”Hey, I was a little angel as a kid.” Poom: "I'm half gnoll, so I am literally a little demon."
"Remember kids. Never play with ice.”
“Hey! There were kids present! No using the black speech of Mordor!”
Gorbash: “The cursed words of Carlin the critical? Wait no that was seven words. Maybe he added to the list.”
"Puss bleeding Hell!” Poom: "Yup, just like Gruncle Tendon.”
Jonni: “Your mother gets off to my centerfold in hell!” Gorbash: “Is that an insult or a boast?” Jonni: “Yes!”
Marshal rocks back and forth in his frozen state, manages to move a finger enough to flip it off.
"YOU AREN'T GETTING ANY S’MORES." Gorbash: “WHAT! How Dare! It's on now B----!” The Glaberu holds up a perfectly made s’more, then throws it in a waste paper basket and kicks it away. Gorbash goes over to the trash bin and fishes the S’more out. "Please it'll take more than that to dissuade me. OMNOMNOM!”
"I'll save a spot for Ape-Jonni. Just incase.”
Jonni: “Hey! Who wants to see puppet titties!?!” Poom: "Let me temporarily blind myself first.”
"I can appreciate that. However, my information does not come freely.” Jonni sighs and starts unbuttoning her shirt. "Not that.”
Your former chieftain draws his sword, "Do you remember w hat I said I would do if you ever returned?” Jonni: “I couldn’t hear over your daughter hanging on to you crying that she loved me and not to hurt me.” He growls. “DIE." Jonni: “Plus that mammoth I stole was super noisy.”
He manages to thumb wrestle his way out of your big hand.
"If you seek the Tiger, then you will find him at the top of Candy mountain." "Is this... a BIG rock candy mountain, or a regular?”
Gorbash: “Right watch out for unicorns. they'll still your organs.”
OOC: Everyone is a puppet, save Poom who is a regular house cat and Nyx who is a GI Joe figure.
OOC: Shame. If it was a strangler, it could've spent the session failing to kill Marshal. OOC2: But then he'd look preppy, with a sweater tied around his neck.
Poom: "Aka, Mythos Daycare.” OOC: Mythos Babies, they make nightmares seem tame.
D&D Quotes Without Context
Ravenloft Edition, Har-Akir Arc FINAL
“They. Let’s not misgender the horrible person I plan on burning alive.”
“At least tell them you’re the only one there because you didn’t trust us not to immediately open fire. Which, I will point out, is true.”
“Standard double boss raid tactics.”
"Our real challenge will be to locate their ring though. Didn’t they say they placed it in a hidden location?” “Ask your nerd god?”
"I've got a second broom in the hole, if anyone needs it.”
"Alright... Jonni, Marshall, and Gorbash. Come here, and I'll ask for Ioun to watch over you.” “I will try not to flash the Girls during that time. Try.”
It’s about noon, there is not a cloud in the sky, the sun is beating down. Everyone in the caravan has gone into the city to avoid the fight. Azathoth: "Wee-o-wee-woo...wa wa wa.....wee-o-wee-woo....wa WA…."
However, a barge approaches on the river bank, upon it on a throne sits a mummy in ornate gold. A crier on the skiff opens a scroll "This most supreme authority Lord Ankhtepot has been invited by the Necromancer Nima Galzona to observe their latest creation, the Sunbleacher undead. Feel free to ignore us and continue with the fight.”
Nyarlathotep: "Nima is an egg-laying mammal?”
“Oloch’s been eating his Wheeties. Somehow.”
“Also, Nima? I fucked your boots.”
Oloch: ”If the pyromancer agrees to abandon their efreeti lover to her current fate, and leave the Domains of Dread without her, then I will agree.” Jonni: “Sure.” Nima blinks. "Wow really?” Jonni: “Yup. Pinkie swear.” Marshal: "Jonni, there can be no falsehood. The Master and I WILL hold you to this vow.” Jonni: “Oh, we’ll then, fuck that.” Hex and Eldritch Blast on Nima.
You slice "Nima": to pieces, their head lands at your feet. Then its eyes open and smiles. "Get ready for a surprise!” Gorbash: “And cue the magical bullshit.”
Gorbash: “I didn't realize this was a full on asshole convention.” Jonni: “So, was that Oloch or did they fuse into a whole new asshole?” Gorbash: “I think Nima shoved an asshole into another asshole to make a Bigger asshole. And I feel dirty for having spoken those words.” Nyarlathotep: "Tha's a BIG asshole.” Marshal: "So which dispenses the ranch dressing?” "Stop saying asshole." One of the Nima says. Gorbash: “I will if you all stop being Assholes!”
“I got a shitty plan to find real Nima unless someone has a good plan?”
Three Stooges Nimas.
I should note something, after Oloch removed his cloak, the air around him feels different, dryer and hotter. The sunlight seems harsher. OOC: Does that mean fire type moves do more damage?
"Eddie, Jonni can't die. That's a rule!”
Jonni: “Guys, stupid hope to find real Nima or deal with exploding orc?” Poom: "Always exploding first!”
Anhktepot doesn't want this to play by Don King rules.
"Oh no, Oloch is using Solar Flare!”
"BURNING DEATH!” “I said the same thing to Vesh on our Anniversary.”
OSP: “I didn’t ask if my friend was out of range, I said I cast Fireball.”
“Instant gratification is bullshit. The best revenge is knowing your enemy is miserable.”
“I’m talking about an oath sworn to a major league fucking god! Do you think I want the consequences of that?” "Considering how stupid you are, yeah.”
OOC: Anybody else wanna get Yul Brynnar in play on our side?
Poom teleports to a safe distance. Like Goth Mexico.
Nima: ”Also FYI, me and Hazlik can see and hear you through the magic items we gave you.” Jonni: “I mean, I assumed they could. It’s why I kept using the rod for sexy times.” Nima: "And people think I'm a freak.”
"Darn, wish we had a cantrip to conjure up some popcorn for this.” "Admire later: we're still in the splash zone", Marshal says as he swerves to avoid a meteor.
"I've never trusted cashews.”
"I mean we're both petty, power-mad slut-mages who solve all our problem with dark magic.”
“By the way, books just a copy of the Kama Sutra I shoved in an overdue library book. Left the real one in hell.” “Huh. Wow those are some pictures.” “Yeah, this one is from the dimension where Picasso got freaky.”
Gorbash follows: Poom always knows the best escape routes.
“So… let your mom know, I just finished one blood feud, I’ve got room in my schedule for a new one.”
Irost comes running, wearing a mask and his viol from the city. "Can't talk. Priests are angry. Gotta go.”
Jonni: “Well. Looks like we’re on the road again. Next stop, killing some bitch.” Poom: "New stop, same as the old stop.”
OOC: BRB, if I seem quiet for a few minutes here and there it’s because my body has decided to stop retaining water.
OOC: I just had unexpected dogs in my apartment. OOC2: ...That is either a problem or the opposite of a problem.
OOC: I mean, Hades won't argue being an asshole.
“I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOUR FACIAL HAIR IS AMAZING!”
OOC: Now he knows all Nima has to do is say "Parmesian" and he will be their personal fight doll.
OOC: Considering our next stop, this:
OOC: I mean, not like the hell-child's gonna be any LESS deadly... Irost: “I'll get the elf outfits ready.”
OOC: Yeah, that necrosplosion almost wiped us.
OOC: ….Those Nimas were Saibamen.
OOC: Or we can mail ourselves somewhere, and rest while we are in transit.
OOC: Itty. Bitty. Living space. OOC2: Comes with the phenomenal cosmic power.
OOC: Speaking of next time, you guys are going to the cornfield.
D&D Quotes Without Context
Treasure Island edition, Chapter 9
GM OOC: Okay Sahaugin's (I hate trying to spell that word) turn. OOC: Fish guys. OOC2: Soggy ones. OOC: So he made friends with one of the heads? OOC: Half-stoned croc. "I'M GONNA GUT YOU, CLEAN Y OU, DRY YOU, THEN STICK GOOGLY EYES ON Y OUR SKULL AND SELL IT IN A CHEAP GIFT SHOP." MJ moves her arms in arcane motions as dark clouds gather, her staff crackling with electricity… before she tosses little bags full of dried beans at them. "WOO! BRING THE THUNDER MJ! AND THE LIGHTNING, AND THE HAIL, AND MAYBE A LITTLE LIGHT RAIN, AND SOME FOG AND can she make it rain toads?" MJ puts a brownie on her corpse. “I regret only not making more brownies!” The Crocodile, which you may now name if you want, happily starts eating their former handlers' remains. "Ded shall call you......Doublemint." Dingo crawls down to make sure they know the pecking order. A few knife threats later and Doublemint knows their place. "Quite nice accommodations. Seems poorly defended though, the Red Baron can swoop right in." As a loyal servant to his Prince, Magnus is compelled to partake from what's in the most elaborate, gaudy and probably expensive bottle, even if its where Thunderchild keeps Wow-Wow Sauce. “MJ. Paying of student loans, merry wanderer of the night and purveyor of herbal supplements.” "We did get an... alligator.. out of the deal.." MJ blinks. “I’m gonna color now. Dingo, take notes.” "Flint? FLINT! Bark! Bark bark!" "... are you barking...? Or saying bark?" "Flint say Flint come back soon! But Flint no come back soon! Flint leave Ded here!" “My mom said the same thing when she left me at school.” "People. Ain't. Cargo." "Yes: people boxes need air-holes." "Hm." Janus says. He then stands up. "Excuse me a moment wont you?" He walks over to the beach, you see him dunk his head under the water for a full minute as bubbles rise up in a frenzy. He then returns and sits back down. ".... Those fish didn't deserve to hear that...." "I shall send them a formal written apology. And Ham. Fish like Ham don't they?" “Unless they have religious objections.” "... ham and peanut butter... Not at the same time of course..." OOC: Anyway, time to learn some of the disadvantages of being a marine biologist. OOC: We need to get Amber some mixed Energon drinks.
“Or just the letter, "K". Why's it gotta be a "K" with a special implication? Why's it gotta be a special "K"?” - Me
