He can feel cartilage crushed under his fingers, bruises forming on tender skin, flowering to life as he ruptures an underlayer of blood vessels.
It doesn’t feel like slow motion, like you see in the movies. In fact, his fists are rocketing through space faster than he can even register. He keeps going, going, going, and there’s nothing he can do to stop himself. Call it anger, desperation, or impulse - the only option available is to go with it. He is washed away.
There are ragged breaths coming from below, his peripheral senses are picking up distorted screaming, pleas, and he can’t respond.
In their darkness, these are the only sounds. His hand finds purchase on the skin of this man’s throat and he’s squeezing; shouting shut up, shut up, shut up.
There are embers flaming in his stomach, spewing fire up his windpipe, and lava flows through the veins in his arms. His legs are cemented into place - he can’t leave now.
Just over four thousand days should’ve given him enough time to find a way to control himself, to re-purpose himself, mold himself differently. He could have been anything, he could have done anything. And yet, here he is, still drinking, binging, hurting, killing.
He mirrors his biggest nightmare without realizing it.
The realization floats into his consciousness and then it spreads, leeches, draws the heat from his limbs into his head. And then he only sees red.
“SHUT YER FUCKIN’ FACE ‘FORE I FUCKIN’ KILL YA!”