Aidan stood in a corner of the grand hall. The air was thick with the sounds of merriment; the round table heavy with food. A wild boar had been found for the feast. Its tusked faces stared lifelessly at them. Dancers littered the area before the throne. Various shades of red, brown, and green swirled about the stone floor. Artor was upon his throne, his head resting on one hand, a goblet of wine in the other. He was lazily engaged in conversation with Myrddin who seemed to have had a bit too much to drink.
Aidan’s eyes searched the sea of faces for Riona. They found her among a small clump of the Queen’s ladies-in-waiting. She was smiling broadly and seemed to be emphatically telling the group a story. The women listened with rapt expressions. Riona had grown comfortable among them. It was hard to believe that this glowing young woman, dressed in finery, hair intricately braided, was the same reclusive and mistrustful Riona they had found in a stone hut on the shores of Cornwall.
Aidan felt a presence at their side and glanced over their shoulder. Ser Lamorak stood beside them, calm as ever, casually sipping on mulled wine.
“I heard the King has pardoned you,” he said softly.
“Aye, at the behest of Ser Luc.”
“You are a gifted military leader,” said Lamorak, switching topics rapidly, “The Round Table could use someone like you.”
“Already recruiting and only a few hours a Knight?”
“It was an observation, nothing more.”
Aidan made a neutral sound in their throat.
‘How much longer will you be staying in Castra?”
Aidan sighed through their nose.
“Leave on the morrow if I can help it.”
“Will Riona be leaving with you?” Lamorak asked casually. Aidan felt a jolt of surprise down their spine. They had not considered the possibility that Riona may be content to remain here among her new-found friends.
“I-I do not know,” they finally stammered in response.
“She will be sorely missed,” said Lamorak, taking his leave.
As if to punctuate this thought Aidan watched as Gawain approached Riona and bowed, one hand proffered toward her. Riona blushed bright pink but the urging of the other ladies took Gawain’s hand and let him lead her among the dancers. Aidan felt their stomach twist into a knot. Gawain was obviously not a practiced dancer, Riona, however, did not seem to mind. Her eyes were focused brightly upon the new Knight’s face. Her lips parted permanently in a wide smile. Gawain’s wide hands drew her close and he whispered something in Riona’s ear. Riona’s expression shifted slightly and she looked up at Gawain coyly beneath her lashes. Aidan felt an invisible hand grip their heart. They forced their breath to come in short, steady bursts. The song ended and finally Gawain released Riona from his arms. As the drums signaled the start of a new song Aidan felt their feet moving forward of their own accord. In what seemed too short a time they were standing mutely before Riona, whose face held a look of surprise.
Aidan felt uncharacteristically frozen in fear. They could feel the eyes of the lords and ladies around them burrowing into their flesh. Aidan swallowed thickly and straightened up to their full height. Riona’s grew eyes were wide with concern.
“May I have this dance, Riognach?”
Aidan saw a flash of emotion in Riona’s eyes as they used her full name.
With a steady motion they held our their right hand palm up. Riona never took her eyes off of Aidan’s face as she delicately placed her hand in theirs. Aidan felt their lips part in a smile. They drew Riona into the dance, one hand on the small of her back.
The pair bowed to each other and then began. Aidan lost sight of the rest of the room; it seemed blurry and distant compared to Riona, who was shining more brilliantly than a star. Even the music grew dull in Aidan’s ears. They drew together, separated, and then spun, switching partners and then returning. Repeating this pattern about the room. Finally the pattern of the dance allowed the two of them to encircle one arm about each other’s waists. Riona’s free hand rested on Aidan’s chest.
“You’re trembling,” said Aidan softly, placing their hand over hers.
“Am I?” Riona turned her face away, “Perhaps it’s the wine...”
“Best watch how much you drink,” said Aidan jokingly, “Wouldn’t want you to do something you’ll regret in the morning.”
“I was joking, Riona-I didn’t mean—“
Riona stopped dancing and pulled away.
Riona moved quickly through the crowd. Aidan followed, already their mouth tasted bitter with guilt. Riona was at the door, stepping through the courtyard outside. Aidan hurried their steps and easily caught up with her.
“Riona, please, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Except to remind me that you are my keeper,” Riona snapped back.
Aidan’s mouth hung open in surprise as she continued.
“Has it occurred to you that I am a woman grown?”
“I am sorry,” Aidan said sincerely, their eyes fixed on their feet. They heard Riona sigh sharply and glanced up. She was looking upward at the night sky, her arms crossed firmly across her chest.
“You want to leave, don’t you?” she asked quietly. The music and laughter coming form the hall seemed to dissipate into the summer air.
“I have no reason to say any longer, “ was Aidan’s numb response, “but Riona...you...you do not need to accompany me.”
Riona’s head snapped down sharply and she fixed Aidan in an incredulous stare.
“Do you not want me to continue on with you?”
An expression of hurt quickly overwhelmed the other mixture of emotions on her face.
“Then how can you say that?”
Aidan made an exasperated noise and raised their hands in surrender. Glistening tears were now slowly trailing down Riona’s cheeks but she stood still as stone. Her eyes silently demanded answers they did not have.
“You have made many friends here. You could live a very happy life.”
Aidan silently thought of Gawain but the idea burned too brightly for them to speak it aloud. Riona’s lip quivered and she wiped hastily at her tears.
“Riona think on this. I can offer you nothing. Here you would be save. Fed. You could learn from Myrddin...” Riona was staring at Aidan so fiercely they let the sentence die, “What?” they sighed.
Riona took two steps toward them until she stood just beneath their shin. She reached upward and took Aidan’s face in her hands. Rising to the tips of her toas she pressed her lips to theirs. Aidan’s eyes widened in surprise as a wave of warmth washed over them. With a soft breath they shut them and drew Riona into their arms. She was so slight, they almost lifted her off the ground. Her lips were soft, insistent. Aidan let out a small gasp as Riona’s fingers traced their jaw and neck. They could taste the wine on her tongue. A tinge of guilt pricked Aidan’s stomach. With a gentle sound they pulled away.
“Riona...you cannot want this.”
Riona’s hands knotted in the front of Aidan’s tunic.
“Why shouldn’t I?” she demanded softly.
“Because you are young, beautiful. The most caring and intelligent person I have ever met. You deserve more than this, than me.”
Riona was looking at Aidan so earnestly they felt their heart rise and choke their throat.
“Aidan...” the sound of their name on her tongue was so sweet.
The words hung heavily in the air. Aidan breathed in slowly and drew Riona into their arms.
“I know...but you should not, Riognach.”
“I know my own heart, Aidan Andraste,” Riona said with a soft laugh.
“Riona, I am not—you are—“ before the thought could solidify Riona had drawn Aidan into another kiss. This one deeper than the alst. Aidan tangled their fingers in her hair, ruining the intricate braiding. Riona’s teeth gently pricked Aidan’s bottom lip; their heart began to beat quickly. Her hands wandered over Aidan’s back, the blood rushing through their veins was loud in Aidan’s ears. Riona’s tongue played at the edges of Aidan’s lip and they let out a soft moan. Aidan felt Riona smile at the sound. Aidan forced themself to push away.
“We cannot do this,” their voice was soft, but insistent.
“Tell me why,” Riona’s words trembled slightly.
Aidan took Riona’s face in their hands. Her eyes were full of hurt and unspoken accusations.
“Because in this life I have only hurt those that I care about the most. I inevitably destroy the people I love. I do not want that for you.
“So you do not love me?” Riona’s face grew suddenly calm.
“I did not—Riona—if loving you means losing—“
Riona dismissed them with a wave of her hand.
Aidan reached out for her but she pulled away.
“We leave tomorrow,” she said in a cool tone, “You should tell Myrddin.”
Aidan could not respond. Riona’s eyes flickered across their face, searching for something. Satisfied they had no answers she turned and moved toward the Queen’s tower. Aidan’s heart felt cold and sore. Riona paused at the doorway but did not look back. Aidan ran a hand through their thick hair and sighed deeply, the memory of Riona’s mouth still lingering on their tongue.
